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 Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 8:15 pm
I wrote this poem when I was going through a REALLY bad depression spell and was chatting with my best guy friend online. Plus I was slightly hallusinating (sp?) as well..... very weird time. Anyhoo, here is a product of that:
I look dead right now....
I just stared at my hands
and they just appear like death,
and they move a little stiffly,
like death has laid on my joints...
My eyes, filled with fear and tears,
from what my sleeping hour has shown me....
My life, now corrupted from what this world has done,
torn up and burned with hatred and disgust.
My friends, were just pretenders,
making feel wanted and loved,
now have scarred me from trust of anyone...
My possessions, just things i can never take
with me to the other side,
things that have no value to me no longer....
My family, a group of people
that confuses me when I'm in need,
abandons me when I need love,
forsaken me when I lead my own life....
My love, the very reason my life continues
to this day, the reason I can ever go on in any lifetime....
My tears, just useless rain from my eyes,
no one cares when my tears are being freed from captivity...
My appearance, the only way to express
what I feel, what I think,
what I am capable of, and for who I truly am....
My words, a useless group of letters
that no ones cares to listen to,
nor consider to take time to read...
My Eternal Life, something I'll never have
if I'm being held back of my capabilities and skills....
My Nothingness, a loyal true friend of mine
since beyond birth, my rose of my dreaming hour....
My blood, life fluid that someone wants to have in them
more than I want to contain it in myself....
My Soul, a spirit that belongs to another,
something that I never truly owned,
something that no one wants to have....
The strangers of the world, evil souls
that judge me and hate and don't bother looking
into mine own soul and see the real me, not my outer self....
My country, the land on which I live on
now lives in disgust from what it's leaders have done,
they are no longer examples of this land....
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 1:25 pm
This was very raw to me.. Basic. Yet a feeling well interpreted.
The only thing that really jumped out at me was the 4th line seemed a little awkward in the wording. But like I said this seemed raw like a rough draft to get the feeling down on paper. Go back re-read add meter, rhythme etc.
Also I have to move this into the correct subforem. And will do so after you have read/responded to this.
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