Reading The Bible

[Myrphomatic]

Okay, so i've been intruiged by the bible for ages, primarily as a result of all the wacky stuff that is said about it (eg. contradictions in the bible, its sexist/racist/xenophobic etc nature)...

Once I've finished my exams in the coming weeks, i'm gonna have a lot of time on my hands, and not much to fill it with, so i reckon its a good time to give it a go!! Trouble is, there are so many different versions of the damned book, I'm never sure which one i should read!! ^^;

If anyone could give me any pointers as to which version i should read, or if anyone has any experience with reading the bible, that would be awesome thanks!!!!  

[Calypsophia]

I would go with the king james version. it's the oldest english translation of the bible with lots of mistakes in the translations, but it's what the people initially went by before other sects developed with other versions.  

[Redem]

The king james version has unicorns in it after the flood smile

Which is amusing.

But the racist xenophobia and such are present in pretty much all versions.  

[Redem]

Genesis 38

1 At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah. 2 There Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her and lay with her; 3 she became pregnant and gave birth to a son, who was named Er. 4 She conceived again and gave birth to a son and named him Onan. 5 She gave birth to still another son and named him Shelah. It was at Kezib that she gave birth to him.

6 Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7 But Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the LORD's sight; so the LORD put him to death.

8 Then Judah said to Onan, "Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother." 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was wicked in the LORD's sight; so he put him to death also.

Love this one. ^.^  

[Myrphomatic]

Redem

Genesis 38

1 At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah. 2 There Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her and lay with her; 3 she became pregnant and gave birth to a son, who was named Er. 4 She conceived again and gave birth to a son and named him Onan. 5 She gave birth to still another son and named him Shelah. It was at Kezib that she gave birth to him.

6 Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7 But Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the LORD's sight; so the LORD put him to death.

8 Then Judah said to Onan, "Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother." 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was wicked in the LORD's sight; so he put him to death also.

Love this one. ^.^

thats just... not right....  

[Myrphomatic]

Redem

The king james version has unicorns in it after the flood smile

Which is amusing.

But the racist xenophobia and such are present in pretty much all versions.

okay point me towards those unicorns!! I'm intruiged! I'm assuming by flood you mean the one with Noah and his Ark?  

[Tenth Speed Writer]

New King James or New International version are clearer, but most of the bull you hear from right field comes from twisting around the original KJV.  

[-CarelessMemories-]

I know this is kinda off-topic, but you're my brother so you don't mind ^^

"Shut up or I'll rape the Bible." is the best thing to say if a Christian is pissing you off. I know its not really a clever thing to say, but its worth it to get the look on their face.  

[Tenth Speed Writer]

-CarelessMemories-

I know this is kinda off-topic, but you're my brother so you don't mind ^^

"Shut up or I'll rape the Bible." is the best thing to say if a Christian is pissing you off. I know its not really a clever thing to say, but its worth it to get the look on their face.

Yes, but dragging the conflict out isn't going to teach them to stop.



Teach by example, not by force.  

[Death God Hitsugaya]

You haff piqued my interest. I think that I shall read the bible sometime. Oh, and Memories, I'm gonna have to try that sometime. The fundies are gonna cry! (once)  

[Theophrastus]

King James Version with footnotes. Not a specific one.

If you can find a Bible that has the non-canon books, read it, too. Read the canon first. Then see all the books that were excluded from it (Gospel of Mary, Bel and the Dragon, etc).

Trivial decisions by a single man suddenly made a third of the Bible heresy some time long ago, and allofasudden it's supposed to have been like that forever?

What a joke.  

[Tenth Speed Writer]

Death God Hitsugaya

You haff piqued my interest. I think that I shall read the bible sometime. Oh, and Memories, I'm gonna have to try that sometime. The fundies are gonna cry! (once)

Please don't.  

[Redem]

Myrphomatic

Redem

The king james version has unicorns in it after the flood smile

Which is amusing.

But the racist xenophobia and such are present in pretty much all versions.

okay point me towards those unicorns!! I'm intruiged! I'm assuming by flood you mean the one with Noah and his Ark?

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=DEUT+33:17&version=9;
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=NUM+24:8&version=9;
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=PSALM+22:21&version=9;
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=PSALM+29:6&version=9;
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=PSALM+92:10&version=9;
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ISA+34:7&version=9;  

[Myrphomatic]

Redem

Myrphomatic

Redem

The king james version has unicorns in it after the flood smile

Which is amusing.

But the racist xenophobia and such are present in pretty much all versions.

okay point me towards those unicorns!! I'm intruiged! I'm assuming by flood you mean the one with Noah and his Ark?

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=DEUT+33:17&version=9;
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=NUM+24:8&version=9;
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=PSALM+22:21&version=9;
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=PSALM+29:6&version=9;
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=PSALM+92:10&version=9;
]http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ISA+34:7&version=9;

my gosh... its all true... there are unicorns in the bible!! i checked it against the one i've got at home and its all there....

I'm not sure whether to be depressed or to roll on the floor laughing...
gonk  

[Garland-Briggs]

I can suggest you don't read the Good News Bible. *shudder*