A conversation between myself and Hzza

[primaI]

For those who don't know, Hzza and I are mortal enemies, who happen to hang around in the same air space together. For those who aren't there for our wisdom and delightful banter, here is something we said on Saturday.

Me: TOOOOMMMM!!!
Hzza: *Can't hear, he's on a different floor*
Me: TOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM

Hzza: What?
Me: Come look at my poo!
Hzza: ...no
Me: Seriously, it's like, 6 inches out of the water!  

[punkarama]

Compelling.  

[CokePixie]

which brings up and interesting question, When you take a s**t do you HAVE to look at it before you flush it?  

[primaI]

CokePixie

which brings up and interesting question, When you take a s**t do you HAVE to look at it before you flush it?

Of course, admire your work.  

[punkarama]

Tommy the Cat

CokePixie

which brings up and interesting question, When you take a s**t do you HAVE to look at it before you flush it?

Of course, admire your work.

And check for blood ... you never know lol.  

[primaI]

punkarama

Tommy the Cat

CokePixie

which brings up and interesting question, When you take a s**t do you HAVE to look at it before you flush it?

Of course, admire your work.

And check for blood ... you never know lol.

That's the best bit! It means you really worked for that poo.  

[Hzza]

Seriously, I don't know if its me or the people I hang out with, but on average I have a poo-chat at least once a day, sometimes more depending on company.

Also, whenever me and Plums, or me and von Chat get togther its within about 12mins and 8 seconds before the subject of poo comes up.

I like to think of myself as some kind of poo-guru.  

[punkarama]

On the topic of poo. Last night I went into ye olde bathroom to have a pee and there was s**t on the front of the toilet, the toilet seat, and the floor. Now keep in mind i'm the youngest person living here ... I don't know how it's possible to do that, and if you do why the ******** don't you clean it up!!! All I have to say is i'm thankful we have two bathrooms lol.  

[CokePixie]

my brother once MADE me come into the bathroom to see his s**t, it was so long that he was convinced that it would go down in the guiness book of world records. I flushed. He beat me up shortly there after.  

[primaI]

punkarama

On the topic of poo. Last night I went into ye olde bathroom to have a pee and there was s**t on the front of the toilet, the toilet seat, and the floor. Now keep in mind i'm the youngest person living here ... I don't know how it's possible to do that, and if you do why the ******** don't you clean it up!!! All I have to say is i'm thankful we have two bathrooms lol.

I have found the same thing on many toilets in public houses. Something about the combination of idiotic men and alcohol makes men miss the what, 1 square foot diameter of a target to hit with something that only on heroic occasions can be as large as 3 inches in width.

I had to show my sister a poo of mine last week actually, because it was 3 totally different shades of brown (well, brown and orange). She just found it funny.  

[Vexxed]

ew  

[lord_william_nilsson]

blegh.... poo confused  

[Hzza]

You two act like you've never pooped before.

Snobs.  

[[ Danger Woman ]]

The biggest turd I ever saw was when I was living in the dorms and, mind you, this was a girl's hall so I thought it was funny that the biggest dump I ever saw was squeezed out by some chick.

But anyway....it was just this FAT log....like it looked like a giant potato stuck in the toilet and it was so big and hard that You couldn't flush the thing down because it was too big for the hole. xD

I feel so sorry for the janitor who had to deal with that s**t.  

[Hzza]

It certainly wasn't the biggest, but is probably the most horrific, was the one the Legendary Plums sent me when I was at work one day. This was a fairly usual procedure for us, take a massive s**t, check it out, if it was a good one, send a picture from phone to phone, bragging about the size/smell/added goodness.

Seriously, this thing he sent me one day was part turd, part corn-on-the-cob! Half of it was mushed into the side of the bowl, the other half had probably 3 kids RDA in sweetcorn hanging off of it. I have never seen a more hideous thing in my life and I've seen Matt ******** 3 turkeys in a mass-lesbian orgy!

I only wish I'd been there to smell the ********, I bet it stank!

The turd that is, not Matt.

I know how bad he stinks........