The crazy grandma/ and the church group

[Crooked_Lamb]

I posted this in another thread, but id like to see if this group has opinion or diffrent ideas on what happened to me.

Also advice.......


two weeks ago was the first time id seen my grandma in four years, and i had turned atheist in that time. She and my family of course didn't know this yet.

While visting my aunt needed triple bypass surgry (shes fine) so my grandma stayed to watch over her. Well she was sent to a catholic hospitol, (sp??) which had crossess over all the doors, a chapel, and a tv channel dedicated to 24/7 of the mother marys face. Annnd.. a preist that came in before operations. When he asked everyone to hold hands and bow their heads in pray, i stepped back and said i had an errand. My grandmas gaze narrowed and i broke down and joined the circle and pretended to pray.

The next day, my family kept getting calls from people in arizona where my grandma is from asking why parents let their heathen daughter loose.

My grandma had went sobbing on the phone to her pastor, and has a whole church group praying for me to be saved. because im "satanic"My mom, forced me to "pretend" to be christian for the rest of the visit, and banned me from wearing my full metal alchemist blood seal shirt.

Curious i read about the satanic religion, it is not even close to my belifs as an atheist, and i don't believe in satan in the first place.

I got really upset and complained to my uncle that why was it so hard for her to accept me......he just frowned and said....we just can't honey.

i'm really upset my family ended up taking it this way. And more so it ended in an argument how i didn't respect my aunt enough to try and pray for her.

What do you guys think of my situation? any advice? or similar stories????  

[ProjectOmicron88]

Sounds to me like it's not really clear enough to them that even though you're atheist, that doesn't mean you're not pulling for a sick relative. It seems like they're worried that your lack of belief is making you apathetic to your shared plight. Unless of course you already have tried telling them that.  

[Niveous]

Lyoko_Alchemist

I posted this in another thread, but id like to see if this group has opinion or diffrent ideas on what happened to me.

Also advice.......


two weeks ago was the first time id seen my grandma in four years, and i had turned atheist in that time. She and my family of course didn't know this yet.

While visting my aunt needed triple bypass surgry (shes fine) so my grandma stayed to watch over her. Well she was sent to a catholic hospitol, (sp??) which had crossess over all the doors, a chapel, and a tv channel dedicated to 24/7 of the mother marys face. Annnd.. a preist that came in before operations. When he asked everyone to hold hands and bow their heads in pray, i stepped back and said i had an errand. My grandmas gaze narrowed and i broke down and joined the circle and pretended to pray.

The next day, my family kept getting calls from people in arizona where my grandma is from asking why parents let their heathen daughter loose.

My grandma had went sobbing on the phone to her pastor, and has a whole church group praying for me to be saved. because im "satanic"My mom, forced me to "pretend" to be christian for the rest of the visit, and banned me from wearing my full metal alchemist blood seal shirt.

Curious i read about the satanic religion, it is not even close to my belifs as an atheist, and i don't believe in satan in the first place.

I got really upset and complained to my uncle that why was it so hard for her to accept me......he just frowned and said....we just can't honey.

i'm really upset my family ended up taking it this way. And more so it ended in an argument how i didn't respect my aunt enough to try and pray for her.

What do you guys think of my situation? any advice? or similar
stories????

My advice: Pretend.

No, it's not being a coward. People seem to be so self centered, some seem to think one has to be BRAVE about coming forth with their identity. Look, I was born as Matthew. Not a Christian or an Atheist, or a rocker, or an anything. I'm human.

Which is why I let others think I'm Christian. You're grandma doesn't have long to live.
Her ideals may seem stupid, and you may even be upset that she and others cannot accept you as is. And that is totally justified. You are a good person, and you don't need a God to tell you that. This is one of those "white lies" No one gets hurt from it. Maybe you'll still be upset..but if you want to make your grandma happy....do it.

I tell my friends I'm not Christian. They can handle it. Certain people are sooo faithful....and soo mislead...you can't help but feel pity. My mom still has it in her head that her duty was to raise me a good Christian child. Never mind the other ways I was neglected... lol As long as I went to school and loved God, she was the perfect mother.

I tried to explain things to her, but she and your grandma...well..its not worth it. If you can handle pretending, try it out. It's not that hard.
It is if you take it too personally.

Hope that horrible rant helps.... lol  

[Crooked_Lamb]

Both of you made alot of sence...but

She really hurt me by getting all of those people involved, and

i dunno....its not being true to myself to pretend i think...plus .........its disrespectful to my family if i pretend anything religious.  

[ProjectOmicron88]

Lyoko_Alchemist

Both of you made alot of sence...but

She really hurt me by getting all of those people involved, and

i dunno....its not being true to myself to pretend i think...plus .........its disrespectful to my family if i pretend anything religious.

Part of it may also be because your family is going through a pretty rough time. Reactions like this are not uncommon, and if they didn't know before, now was a pretty inopportune time for them to find out. They've got a lot on their plates, and so do you, but given time, anything is water under the bridge.  

[Crooked_Lamb]

i guess, but another reason which i should have mentioned before, my grandma is an attention hog, and she gets more reactions going back saying my granddaughter is a satanic freak. than if she goes back only with the triple bypass story.


But....i agree its probly not best for me to make it known by annoucment, and ill try harder to hide if from me family....but.........i dunno.  

[Sanguvixen]

There was a study done a while back dealing with people undergoing life threatening operations...and the people who were prayed for did worse than the people who were not prayed for. I thought it was a neat but relevent tid-bit.

I will say this. I think perhaps that was the wrong time to react, and perhaps the wrong reaction. I can understand not wanting to pray. Rather than make a scene you could have bowed your head, pretended to pray, but just mentally think of "What can I do to help this person."

So while your reaction to being put in that situation wasn't the best, the way your family treated you wasn't the best either. There are some things you can remember though. There is nothing wrong with being atheist. It doesn't make you immoral, and it doesn't make you a heathen. So what ever you do, keep in mind that you are not a bad person for not believing differently than your family. If you are a good person, show it. If they are good catholics, they'll eventually accept you.

However, keep in mind that there is a time and place for certain reactions. For instance, I'll use myself as an example. Sometimes at family gatherings or special holidays my family will pray. However, rather than leave the dinner table, or excuse myself, or make a big seen I just look down and think nothing. I'm not praying, or pretending to pray. I'm just being respectful to thier wish to pray by making a big scene. After all, their eyes are closed anyway so it is not as though they'll notice I didn't close mind or that I'm eyeing the food.

 

[Sanguvixen]

I would like to point out that if your family has not figured out that you are Atheist, than don't tell them. Keep things that way.

If you find yourself in a situation where they require you to pray. Bow your head, close your eyes....but don't pray. Keep a low profile...it's not that hard.

If you are going to announce what you believe or don't believe in...don't do it while you are dependant on your parents. Wait, wait until you are further in your life and you are financially stable and living on your own. That way if the reaction is bad...well, it won't affect you too much.

 

[ProjectOmicron88]

Sanguvixen

There was a study done a while back dealing with people undergoing life threatening operations...and the people who were prayed for did worse than the people who were not prayed for. I thought it was a neat but relevent tid-bit.

Actually, the margin was slight enough to still warrant a verdict of "no correlation".  

[Crooked_Lamb]

Agian i get good advice thanks Sanguvixen...

And i thought that case study went the people prayed for lived longer? Or did the christian i hear from miss interpret it?


Its interesting depending on who you hear from the diffrent stories you'll hear.  

[ProjectOmicron88]

Lyoko_Alchemist

Agian i get good advice thanks Sanguvixen...

And i thought that case study went the people prayed for lived longer? Or did the christian i hear from miss interpret it?


Its interesting depending on who you hear from the diffrent stories you'll hear.

He either misinterpreted it or lied. I found the story on Fark a few weeks ago.  

[Crooked_Lamb]

huh...so it did turn out they way i heard....

most likely miss heard...it could have been used to rile people up.  

[Theophrastus]

The easy path, in my eyes, would be to lie about it and pretend to be a Christian or just stay "in the closet."

The virtuous choice would be to stick to your convictions and not let people crush you under their heel.

This does not mean that I suggest you cackle maniacally when people pray, turn the crucifixes upside down or draw a mustache on the Virgin Mary.

You should be kind and sweet to your family members who are in need, but you should be politely strong to those who challenge you.

Something should be said, a mission statement if you will. "Gramma, now isn't the time to make a big deal over this. We need to be there for our family and when things are done, we can address this issue. It's important to me, but I want to be there for everyone else, too. What I believe doesn't change what my family means to me."

The bottom line is that if you let them walk all over you now they won't respect your beliefs, but if you disrespect theirs you'll be in an even worse position. Stay true to yourself, answer their questions and put off your announcement until this mess with the hospital is over.

And my good will goes to your aunt.  

[ElenaMason]

Lyoko_Alchemist

I posted this in another thread, but id like to see if this group has opinion or diffrent ideas on what happened to me.

Also advice.......


two weeks ago was the first time id seen my grandma in four years, and i had turned atheist in that time. She and my family of course didn't know this yet.

While visting my aunt needed triple bypass surgry (shes fine) so my grandma stayed to watch over her. Well she was sent to a catholic hospitol, (sp??) which had crossess over all the doors, a chapel, and a tv channel dedicated to 24/7 of the mother marys face. Annnd.. a preist that came in before operations. When he asked everyone to hold hands and bow their heads in pray, i stepped back and said i had an errand. My grandmas gaze narrowed and i broke down and joined the circle and pretended to pray.

The next day, my family kept getting calls from people in arizona where my grandma is from asking why parents let their heathen daughter loose.

My grandma had went sobbing on the phone to her pastor, and has a whole church group praying for me to be saved. because im "satanic"My mom, forced me to "pretend" to be christian for the rest of the visit, and banned me from wearing my full metal alchemist blood seal shirt.

Curious i read about the satanic religion, it is not even close to my belifs as an atheist, and i don't believe in satan in the first place.

I got really upset and complained to my uncle that why was it so hard for her to accept me......he just frowned and said....we just can't honey.

i'm really upset my family ended up taking it this way. And more so it ended in an argument how i didn't respect my aunt enough to try and pray for her.

What do you guys think of my situation? any advice? or similar stories????

From a more rational christian point of view, you are what you are and if they can't accept that, thats their own problem. I don't think there's really much you can do. seems your grandmother is yet another type of zealotry (no offense or anything). and not wear your FMA shirt? oh my GOD its freaking Japanese animation for christs sake. ITS NOT EVIL OR SATANIC! neither are you yourself.

FMA is a fantastic show btw. i LOVE it. and its not a sin to watch it either. at least from a christian point of view, as long as it "doesnt cause your foot to stumble" aka "sin" then its okay. unless its directly satanic, then i wouldnt touch it regardless of its sentiments.

but from a logical point of view, when it comes to family members such as these, unless you play along with their rules then everything is going to go bad. i HATE dealing with relatives, especially my mom's side of the family. but to make sure hostility and arguments dont erupt the best thing you CAN do is play along for the mean time. if not, then theres nothing else you CAN do. since their christian way of thinking is very conservative, trying to speak your side of things wont make them listen. they probably dont care to either since they've already deemed you satanic. (bullcrap if you ask me)  

[Habible]

I agree with SaintChaos...I told my grandma I was atheist, and now she pretends that I don't exist/never have existed <_< (Despite the fact that I AM imaginary =P But I think ya know what I mean by it =)