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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:03 am
A Life Without Love, Its Better To Die. Some Keep You This Way, They'd Hate To See You Cry. And When You Know, That He Is Lying Your In Your Room, Sitting There Crying. Mascera Is Running Eyeliner Is Worn You Say To Yourself "Why Was I Born?" Then The One Comes In Oh,Look At Him Know Knowing He'll End Up Dissembowled For Breaking Your Heart. Dont Say Its Not True. But Someones In Their Room Just Like You. Crying The Night Away Eyeliner Is Worn You Hold Him And Say "Your Why I Was Born"
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:28 am
Pretty cliche. Your razor doesn't really have much to do with this.
I don't really get why he ends up disemboweled. Also, it isn't good to speak directly to the reader in your poetry. I'm referencing here the lines "But someone's in their room/Just like you".
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:21 am
Well, i wrote this FOR a friend. So, thats why spoke directly to the reader. And Dissebowled coms from my friends telling all my boyfriends that i've had that if they hurt me in any way they will rip off his arms and legs, gouge out his eyes and make him eat them and lastly cut off his "Manleyness"
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Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 6:41 am
crying Noone likeths meh poem ~~~~
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Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 10:49 pm
*sigh* you make yourself very difficult to read. The constant capitalization, it's hard to read properly. Dear don't bring your razor into this, it's not a part of the poem.
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 9:26 am
i liked it, and i think i get it. i think you need to work on somethings in it, but its great! good job! 3nodding and i know what its like to cry myself to sleep at night. i do say "Why Was I Born?" but not every much anymore. anyways good job, love,
-TheDarkNightElf
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