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funny fullmetal alchemist pics i found

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here you go. BEST LOST HOMEWORK EXCUSE EVER
its long, but its random.
please read it!!!

I was sleeping after writing my essay nonstop for nearly 27 hours. I awoke from a loud noise sounding through my kitchen. I went to investigate. What i saw was horrifying, my backpack was broken into, my essay gone. I called my favorite Detective, the one who i always go to in times of missing items around my home, to investigate. Detective John McBain. He looked around the scene and found an interesting trail, a trail of Lucky Charms leading away from my backpack and out my back door.

We followed it for what felt like hours till we reached a far away forest in the middle of the mountains and were ambushed by a team of highly trained ninjas. They shot me and McBain with poison darts and took us back to their HQ. I woke up with cotton mouth and a bag over my head. My hands were tied down so i tried to bite through the bag when someone ripped it off my head. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the light and when i did, my mouth dropped open, an invitation to all sorts of flying objects like alien space ships.

The person i saw before me had one arm human, one wing, a beak, and goat legs. The rest was a swirl of goop and nasty oozing puss and mucus. I nearly threw up.

"What do you want from me!?" I cried. "And where is John?"

"I want your essay. and John is dead."

"Uh, no I'm not." Said John. He waddled his way over to me, he too was tied up. "Are you... creatures blind?"

"We do not pay attention to the things that are of no importance."

"Oh really? Is that it? Well thats just fantastic..." John was clearly annoyed.

"Why do you want my essay?" I asked. "What does an essay on the eco system mean to you?"

"Nature did this to me." The creature gestured to her massive, hidious form. "And you have unlocked the key to get my beauty back."

"Screw you! i have to turn that essay in tomorrow or i fail the class!" I hollored.

"Enough! Take her away guards!" They came at me from all sides, i didnt know what to do. I was so mad! twenty seven hours and it ends like this? no way!

With me burst of adrenaline, i broke the ropes and started knocking guards back left and right. Neo from the Matrix jumped in, attacking two guards headed toward me.

"I must find the oracle! do you know where she is?" he asked me.

"Uh, kinda busy homes, youre on your own." I punched a guard in the face while Neo did his superman thing and flew off into the night. It was begining to frustrate me that i was getting no where with fighting.

"This is ENOUGH!!!" I screamed and crouched down, summoning a ball of energy inside me, growing, feasting on my rage. I straightened up as the ball exploded, a bright light in the atmosphere. Everyone was blown off their feet. The light was growing hotter and hotter till i set the room on fire.

"NOOOOO!!!!!" I yelled as i watched my essay go up in flames. Bodies piled around me, even the body of John McBain. "Ill miss you." I whispered.

"Im right here damnit!" John screamed. I turned around and saw him sitting in a corner, his knees pulled to his chest, sucking his thumb. "Get me out of here!"

A wall in the room colapsed and revealed a river flowing into the forest trees. A vine hung from a tree, Which i grabbed, McBain on my back, and i swung away into the night.

Tarzan bumped into me, "Have you seen Jane?"

"Get off me ape man!" I shoved with all my might, and watched him fall into the river. Behind me a propane tank near the hide out exploded from my fire. The sound was so loud, birds flew out of the trees. I just kept swinging from my vine though, not looking back.

It was sun up when i got home, i Dropped McBain off and recomended he get counsiling. That was how i lost my essay. I will never dabble with the eco system again.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his assent to laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his governors to pass laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of representation in the legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved representative houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the legislative powers, incapable of annihilation, have returned to the people at large for their exercise; the state remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavored to prevent the population of these states; for that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization of foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migration hither, and raising the conditions of new appropriations of lands.

He has obstructed the administration of justice, by refusing his assent to laws for establishing judiciary powers.

He has made judges dependent on his will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies without the consent of our legislature." -Abe Lincoln

I give Michael my story

Michael: *Reads the paper*

Me: Is it good?

Michael: I don't know, I was just staring at the spaces

THIS WAS AN ACTUAL EVENT

Oh well, not that funny.