Evergleam Giveaway & Lotto -- Gleam On!

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and eighty-five

64. When the Sidekick rescues me, I will dump any gifts received from the Evil Overlord. They probably contain tracking devices, which would result in the Sidekick getting killed; then I'd have to listen to his confession of undying love while he croaks, and feel obligated to say some comforting baloney before his eyes close for the last time, and then after telling the Hero about his friend's courageous sacrifice, wind up naming our first child after him. heart

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and eighty-six

65. There is a fifty-fifty chance that the Hero's Sidekick is in love with me. I'll find him a spunky, moderately attractive tomboy type about his height, and steer them towards each other. If they quarrel, they're in love; if they hit it off, she loves him, but he's secretly unhappy with her and still loves me, and the Hero will need to send them off on a mission together. heart

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and eighty-seven

66. If I absolutely must scream, I'll use actual words with useful information. "I'M BEING EATEN BY A SHUGGOTH!" better enables the Hero to rescue me than does a simple ear-splitting "AAARRRGGHH!" heart

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and eighty-eight

67. When the Evil Overlord says that he was driven to his evil by my radiant beauty, I'll just kill him. heart

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and eighty-nine

68. I will never vow to slay the killer of my brother or other near relative; there is a fair-to-middling chance that the Hero did it, that it was an accident, and that I won't learn he did it until after I fall in love with him.

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and ninety

69. If someone capable of feeling pain covers my mouth with their hand, I will make use of my pearly whites at the moment when my captor can least afford to be distracted.

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and ninety-one

70. I will save my ethical dilemmas for times when I don't have an enemy at gunpoint.

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and ninety-two

Tips for the Innocent Bystander:

71. Never take on someone that has just beaten the Hero, unless it is to distract him just before the Hero delivers the killing blow.

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and ninety-three

72. If the Evil Overlord announces to the world that he has reformed and wants only to help people, throw a party, and give away money, don't go, especially if he's playing Prince's music. If he's lying, you'll be a hostage or a statistic. If he's telling the truth, catch the next one.

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and ninety-four

73. Watching the Evil Overlord's interview on TV will no doubt be interesting, but don't be in the studio audience when he/she/it hosts "Saturday Night Live." Tape it, and wait a week or so to see if any other viewers had any seizures or mind-control problems before you watch the tape.

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and ninety-five

74. If you're riding on public transport and the Magnificent Seven board your train or bus, get out immediately and wait for the next one. Especially if they're in their street clothes.

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and ninety-six

75. If you are exceptionally attractive, stay away from banks. It's always the buxom redhead who gets taken hostage by the bankrobbers.

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and ninety-seven

76. Do not run back to get your teddy bear or puppy.

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and ninety-eight

77. If you have small children, keep them on one of those kid leashes when in public, so that they won't go running back after their teddy bear or puppy.

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two  

[Ambrai]

Nudge five hundred and ninety-nine

78. When a Bad Guy uses you for a human shield, certain delicate areas of his body are in striking range of your heel. Go for it.

The True Love List Part One
The True Love List Part Two