Epic quotes (Screw cleanliness, it's no holds barred, now)

[ChainsawDooM]

(Mutiny) Atarax: you ate an americium disk from a smoke detector?
(Atarax) Mutiny: yeah
(Mutiny) Atarax: why?
(Atarax) Mutiny: I thought it would give me special powers.
(Mutiny) Atarax: what did it do to you?
(Atarax) Mutiny: well, it didn't give me any special powers, but it didn't kill me either
(Atarax) Darwin must be spinning in his grave
(Atarax) "why is that f*** still alive"  

[ChainsawDooM]

(Mutiny) I'm talking to my mom online and she just said "i could use a good vibrator. i know you dont want to hear that but a woman has needs"
* Mutiny runs and washes his eyes out with bleach  

[ChainsawDooM]

omg
christians are knocking at my door
and they're armed with the holy bible  

[ChainsawDooM]

damn
it's hotter then the devil's d*** in a pair of heated speedos here  

[ChainsawDooM]

[D1] You know, I started the slammer routine.
[D1] when everyone was playing for pogs
[D1] I put down my slammer
[D1] and it started a huge trend
[D1] then EVERYONE played for slammers
[Guilty] You put it on the pile?
[D1] yeah
[Guilty] Thats just stupid
[D1] I was a high roller.
(McMoo) are you guys discussing pog tactics?
[D1] yes  

[ChainsawDooM]

¿
hypr is confused in Spanish.  

[ChainsawDooM]

Do you ever wonder if Japanese people all laugh at the zany translations they get of American games? "Did you know that in America, 'Super Flamey Skull Man' is named 'Scorpion'?" "Ha ha! Scorpion!"
"Can you believe they wouldn't even LIKE commuter train simulators in America!?!"  

[ChainsawDooM]

I knew a man who had sex with a helicopter once.
...
Alright, I didn't, I lied to try to impress you.  

[ChainsawDooM]

Why is it whenever I hear the phrase 'Battered Women' I think of fried food?  

[ChainsawDooM]

ive been to one star trek convention, and i was 14
it was cool. patrick stewart was there
they told us not to ask why they cant fix baldness in the 24th century  

[ChainsawDooM]

... next you'll tell me that you shaved your pubes under the misdirection that i care
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> eh...
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> hey CoN, I shave my pubic hair under the misdirection that you care.
oh thanks
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> then I make socks out of it.
... thats weird
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> human-wool socks
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> > biggrin
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> wanna know how I make apple juice?
*** CoN has quit IRC  

[ChainsawDooM]

As you can tell, I'm running low on really good ones...  

[ChainsawDooM]

"Bacon and eggs is wonderful. Truly wonderful. One wonders as to how the British, who are noteworthy worldwide for their disgusting food (like Haggis, which is made of animal guts, and Black Pudding, which is made of blood), came up with such culinary magnificence. It has everything your mouth needs - meat, fat and salt. If you're going to get fat, there's no better way to get fat than bacon and eggs.

The experience of eating bacon and eggs has been rightly compared to having an orgasm in one's mouth. This may cause confusion as to whether the subject is bacon and eggs or fellatio; however, bacon and eggs cause you to have an orgasm in your mouth, whereas fellatio causes Uncle Tony to have an orgasm in your mouth. Both result in hot, sticky, salty goodness; yet that's as far as the similarity goes, unless you're having sausage and eggs."