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 Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:31 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:32 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:41 pm
Nudge six hundred and forty-one
120. Artifacts that are found in pieces should be left in pieces. Most importantly, if the pieces of an artifact stick together during assembly without any sort of adhesive, stop!
Graaaagh. I'm not putting hearts behind them anymore. I'm too distracted...And AAAAAAHHHHH I am never going to catch up this time! *dies...again*
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:42 pm
Nudge six hundred and forty-two
121. When the scholar in the expedition says that the carving promises wrath on him who breaks the seal, it's time to go back to the camp.
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:44 pm
Nudge six hundred and forty-three
122. When the medical examiner announces that the victim was bitten or eaten by "something weird that I've never seen before, probably some kind of animal", avoid the area where the biting/eating took place. If the victim is still alive, avoid the victim except under broad daylight.
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:46 pm
Nudge six hundred and forty-four
123. Do not split up to search for the monster.
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:51 pm
Nudge six hundred and forty-five
Section E: Further Evil
Guidelines for Evil Empresses:
1. Beauty is fleeting, power is vulnerable. I will not risk the latter for the former.
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:53 pm
Nudge six hundred and forty-six
2. I will not fret over the comparative beauty of the Hero's True Love or any Beautiful Yet Innocent kinfolk. They may be attractive enough, as peasant wenches or quivering maidens go; but I am The Evil Empress, and there is no comparison.
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:59 pm
Nudge six hundred and forty-seven
3. I will use my magic mirror for spying on my enemies rather than for vain attempts at preserving my position as fairest in the land.
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 12:01 am
Nudge six hundred and forty-eight
4. I will not bed the Hunky Hero before my plan is executed, unless having him believe I am carrying his child gives me a decisive advantage.
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 12:05 am
Nudge six hundred and forty-nine
5. While seduction has its place in my arsenal, I realize that "evil" and "skanky" are not mutually inclusive. Royal Dressmakers unable to realize this fact will be flayed alive in the presence of their replacements.
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 12:06 am
Nudge six hundred and fifty
6. I will wear flats, or better yet, running shoes when executing crucial plans.
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 12:08 am
Nudge six hundred and fifty-one
7. My slinky sorceress' robe will have a chain mail foundation garment, at minimum.
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 12:10 am
Nudge six hundred and fifty-two
8. I will not be put off by the Hero's rebuffs of my sexual advances. If he doesn't succumb, I won't fly into a jealous rage. Instead, I'll shrug my shoulders, send him on his way, and have him picked off as he exits the fortress.
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 12:12 am
Nudge six hundred and fifty-three
9. Where winks, suggestive remarks, and body language won't get me what I want, a well aimed semi-automatic will.
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