Corrupt A Wish (C'mon... you know you want to...)

[Sielent]

Granted. You lose all internet connectivity no matter what device you use so that you stay off the internet and use the time for whatever you needed more time for.

I wish I could find a place to stay -.-  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

No! Not the Internet!

Granted. Your new home is in a cardboard box, which has been granted immunity so the police can chase you off for loitering as you sleep in the streets.  

[Sielent]

Hmm... maybe I should consider a jail cell X3.

o.o there was no wish.... Or was your wish not to have a wish?? @_@

Then I will grant that wish but now you have to grant mine in return! >3

I wish I had a giant teddy bear!  

[Zahzi]

Granted, but the teddy's alive and rabid.
Fuzzy-wuzzy wasn't so fuzzy, was he?

I wish I had a spork.  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted.
You're killed for wanting a spork.
Freak.

I wish I had sober parents.  

[Zahzi]

Granted.
HYPER CHRISTIANS!

I wish I had a ladle now.  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted.
You're working at the soup kitchen.
CHOP CHOP!

I wish you'd stop asking for utensils.  

[Zahzi]

Granted.

Wait for iiiiiit....

I wish I had an empty mayo jar.  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted.
You die from a sudden and mass heart attack because you ate all the mayo to get the jar.

I wish I was done with the last chapter and all the mandatory tests of my job, still hold my job all season, and YET do absolutely nothing all season as well.  

[Zahzi]

Granted.
PAY CUTS!!

I wish I had a job...  

[Sielent]

Granted. You gain a job but then your boss dies and the new boss fires you the next day.

I wish college textbooks didn't cost so much!  

[Zahzi]

Granted. But now they're out of date and require you to buy the ULTRA-EXPENSIVE ONES!!

I wish for a hammer!  

[Sielent]

Granted. But you somehow end up breaking every single bone in your body with it and is no longer able to use a hammer.

I wish I could play the violin or sing.  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted.
You can play and sing, but you can't do it well.

I wish my dream last night came true.  

[Zahzi]

Granted. But then you go mute and your fingers get broken!

I wish for a pencil.