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 Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2016 11:03 pm
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- Gates can shoot up to 3 things per post. Cannot summon modern era or medieval era siege weaponry. Cannot summon balista, aircraft carriers, nuclear bombs, suicide bombers, the entire tumblr agenda, jets, cannot summon handhelds such as nintendo DS, cannot summon galaxy note 7 SS level explosions, cannot summon paula deen's butter, cannot summon thunder thighs, cannot summon the entire notion of time as a human created construct, cannot summon existential crises for use against an opponent. Make a minimum distance from which the gates can be opened by an opponent.
- A king doesnt walk. Changed to passive, may float up to five feet in the air for free. For C-rank use, two posts of flight.
- If the Chains of Babylon fail to grab them on the first post, are they done?
- Everything Belongs to Me gate needs to have a higher distance than standard gates. |
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:23 am
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- When shifting into a star for auto-dodge, they can't attack for three seconds after exiting the form.
- Divine Providence puts them in 'stasis'. Read the lydian's version and take inspiration from it for the full wording of this technique. I believe the cost for that technique is also S-rank, but I may not remember for sure. If so, make appropriate changes.
- Northern lights is too powerful as an AoE heal. A-rank chakra healing major injuries is typically used as Healing Hands; Major, which is a Jounin-ranked skill used on one person. Applying that effect over a whole battlefield would likely cost S or SS if it lasts for two posts. Either increase the cost or decrease the effectiveness of the healing and damage.
- Put in a strength value to resist Graviton Star, also note that the power of the technique's pull weakens the further out you get from the 30 meter radius.
- Curagura cannot be used to resurrect fallen shinobi. For SS-rank, you would be able to heal basically any wound save for beheading, but reviving RPCs from the grave--even if it's been a short time--is something I prefer only the BSS to have. If you know others bloodlines that have these skills, let me know so we can nerf.
- Put star stream down to 20 bullets.
- Does Malefica actually damage things, or is it link a Shinra Tensei?
- How many times per post does Fountain of Light fire on the same target? Is it once per post?
- How large are the stars in Justice Rains from Above? |
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:44 am
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- Seven Swordsmen and Edo Tensei are both denied. Just wanted to put this in here instead of making it a separate post. I plan on distributing the blades soon, and the Edo Tensei stuff is gone forever.
- I wouldn't limit visibility of the glass, as most battles have techniques exploding and triggering that would create an infinite number of ways to see the glass. I.e. flames generating light at an angle that reveals the glass technique.
- I would remove the glass class benefits, and turn them into techniques for the asset itself. I would also remove the class limitations listed above, since we're looking for ways to open up new, relevant assets for every character concept. As for the Glass Genjutsu, it's a good concept, but too strong as it is now. The techniques would not be able to be formed instantaneously, and I would prefer there be some slight form of visual warning to the sphere forming, though it doesn't have to be much. After that, I would turn this into a jutsu, similarly to the ones before. You would spend equal chakra to the rank of the genjutsu you want to use, to create the glass sphere version of it.
- Hot Hand seems to borrow this idea that glass is invisible. Unfortunately, glass is visible even to the human eye, bloodhound. So I would make it a point to elaborate at the top of your post that all glass is visible as an outline of its shape. I've never seen invisible glass lol.
- If glass prism is going to have such good defensibility on the inside, then it needs to go on a long cooldown in between uses to prevent spamming. Five posts between uses after it's destroyed.
- As with all glass, you'll still be able to see the outline of the glass clone. 3/4 user's stats.
- Reduce the size of glass maze to 150 meters [About 500 feet]. Because it's just a containment tech, I'll let it have a wider radius than we normally allow, but it still can't be gigantic. What you were suggesting was well over 400 meters.
- For glass eye, the eyeball itself is too small to create a meter wide focal point. Reduce the focal point to 6 inches, especially if it only costs 5 chakra per post to maintain. Also, I'm assuming it costs B-rank to create, and then 5 to maintain every post after the first, yes? Also, make it so that the absolute longest this sphere can stay out is four posts after creation, making a total of five posts and 30 chakra spent.
- To say 'thousands' of senbon is a bit much for an A-rank technique. Tone it down on the final jutsu.
- Lava Swimmer, as well as all water breathing, wall/water walking techs, is passive once learned. The earth military movement, as well as other earth-based movement techniques, are the only ones that require chakra, as earth is an entirely solid substance. |
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 9:09 am
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- See: Uzumaki
- Having one free teleport every post is EXTREMELY strong. Any user of this bloodline would be nearly unkillable at Jounin-rank, let alone SS. Furthermore, the entire idea of this bloodline is something that could easily be replicated using one or two custom techniques as a regular sealer. On top of that, most of the techniques are incredibly OP as they're written.
To be frank, I'm surprised you didn't go Uzumaki. Unfortunately, I cannot pass this bloodline as it is now, because its concept is OP, and it doesn't add anything of real substance to the guild. I apologize.
As for your Meltdowner bloodline:
- It's concept is like an odd fusion of Kasaiton and Jinton. A lot of what you do in this bloodline can easily be accomplished by using either one of those assets. Furthermore, the bloodline itself lacks substance, having only three techniques. What I see from this is a chakra stat-stick with the ability to overpower techs of the same rank. I can't approve this one either. Sorry. |
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 9:24 am
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- Too many stats, stats everywhere. eugh. Simplify this nonsense. No speed increase in the air, cut down the extra stats on your weapon, reduce your strength debuff. Too. Many. Stats!
- The disaster needs to be elaborated a little bit. Does it cost SS-rank chakra to turn a weak poison into a lethal one? How much to turn a small slice into a deadly gash? This is very powerful for a passive ability, and I would be more comfortable with it if limitations were placed on it, such as minimums that have to exist first before wounds or poisons can become deadly.
- Form 1 cannot be used in battle.
- Rush needs a speed value.
- For A-rank chakra, a limb would turn to stone. Would need to be SS in order to completely stone them.
- Scatter would need to make the weapons more breakable and thereby susceptible to AoE defenses. Keep in mind that you're distributing an A-rank tech over 15 different entities, so destroying them at that point would only require an AoE attack of like S-rank, crippling you for the rest of the battle.
- In order for a -2/-2 stat reduction, must have an A-ranked cost. Because the radius is so small, I'll leave it at that.
- I don't understand why Spore Canus has a scaling rank.
- Spore Opus needs to either have it's chakra cost buffed or just be removed lmao.
- If that many blasts of light are being fired from a B-ranked tech in one post, understand that being hit by them would be akin to being hit by like...pebbles unless you were hit by all of them. That's a 10 chakra cost jutsu lol.
- An SS-ranked tech that has a 10 foot range? Buff this. |
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Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 3:24 pm
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Sovngarde Awaits - When shifting into a star for auto-dodge, they can't attack for three seconds after exiting the form. - Divine Providence puts them in 'stasis'. Read the lydian's version and take inspiration from it for the full wording of this technique. I believe the cost for that technique is also S-rank, but I may not remember for sure. If so, make appropriate changes. - Northern lights is too powerful as an AoE heal. A-rank chakra healing major injuries is typically used as Healing Hands; Major, which is a Jounin-ranked skill used on one person. Applying that effect over a whole battlefield would likely cost S or SS if it lasts for two posts. Either increase the cost or decrease the effectiveness of the healing and damage. - Put in a strength value to resist Graviton Star, also note that the power of the technique's pull weakens the further out you get from the 30 meter radius. - Curagura cannot be used to resurrect fallen shinobi. For SS-rank, you would be able to heal basically any wound save for beheading, but reviving RPCs from the grave--even if it's been a short time--is something I prefer only the BSS to have. If you know others bloodlines that have these skills, let me know so we can nerf. - Put star stream down to 20 bullets. - Does Malefica actually damage things, or is it link a Shinra Tensei? - How many times per post does Fountain of Light fire on the same target? Is it once per post? - How large are the stars in Justice Rains from Above?
1) K, added that
2) k
3) k, bumped it to S Rank and made it a one post duration aoe heal
4) making it 7 strength in the middle, tapering off to 4 on the sides
5) k
6) k
7) shinra tensei force effect, i put that it breaks bones and s**t
cool One at each target per post, it already says it O_o
9) same size as Malefic stars, just a bunch of em.
fixed it all |
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:21 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:23 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2016 5:37 pm
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Clan or Bloodline: Clan
xxxxxxxxxxAburame
[ Creepy. Crawling. Numerous. ]
xxxxxHISTORY The Aburame Clan (油女一族, Aburame Ichizoku) is one of the four noble clans of Konohagakure. At birth, members of this clan are offered to several special breed of insects as a nest, residing just under their host's skin. These insects will then live in symbiosis with their host from that point on. Because of this, its members are characterised by their use of insects as weapons. xxxxxDESCRIPTION
Members of this clan use insects for battle, whether it be long range attack, or tracking down an enemy, they're prepared for any situation. xxxxxRULES • No other clan with this one.
• Your sub-element is taken up by the "Insectoid" sub-element
• Your genjutsu limit is 10 total, no matter the class or BL
• You need the earth element to use the Psuedo Chomei ability, having this ability means you don't have a summon. xxxxxWEAKNESSES • -1 to your overall strength and only one element can be had.
• Your limited to knowing only three taijutsu/weapon styles styles only, nothing more.
• If your bugs die, then your pretty much screwed since you depend on them. Its like how an Inuzuka feels about their pet being harmed, losing your insects is like losing apart of your soul.
• Raiton is a rank stronger than you. xxxxxSTRENGTHS • Your insects are your greatest strength and because of this, you are in sync with them and move nimbly everywhere, +1 to your speed.
• You can manipulate and control insects at will, you even carry insects under your clothing and in jars for battle, tracking, defense, and other purposes. Because of this, you never run out of insects.
• Your control over most, if not all insects has you training day and night and gives you superb chakra control and distribution, +25 chakra. xxxxxPASSIVE ABILITIES XXXutilized INSECTS • The Aburame utilize specific insects in various ways, each specific insect has a certain abilities and can be produced in great numbers for different techniques and situations. Any one of these insects can be used for any one of these techniques for free, the techniques aren't free though.
Has a superb sense of smell, better than any dog, regular or Inuzuka. Its smell is so superb, it can pinpoint a specific person's chakra
If fed the incorrect amount of chakra, these insects will start to devour their host, chakra and body whole. This causes them to increase and size and become giant.
are a breed of nano-sized, venomous insect used by Aburame clan members. These bugs destroy their enemies' cells, causing excruciating pain in the process but require direct skin to skin contact with the user to have them branch onto the target. The rinkaichū are akin to viruses, spreading rapidly and multiplying as they thrive on living cells. They require living flesh to survive on, and will die shortly if their hosts do, or if they leave a body for a period of time. They only work on shinobi of your rank and lower and last for four posts before crumpling and dying, but during that time, it gives the target excruciating pain. They damage internal organs, flesh, muscle, even chakra. They require a three post cooldown before being used again.
They resemble worms. They can dig into the ground and locate chakra signatures that they then report to their respective Aburame.
XXXHIVE mind • The bugs controlled by the Aburame have always had a sort of symbiotic relationship with the host, the bugs provide their power and the host provides them the chakra to survive. When the Aburame is using their bugs and manipulating them to work with and attack, there is a mental connection that is constantly going on and whatever the bugs are feeling, doing and thinking, the host would know this as well and it becomes part of the reason on how the clansmen are exceptional trackers as well. However the bugs thoughts are primitive and would not act well as spies, only basic information is usually given but the host would know the gist of such things from the creepy symbiotic contact with their insects. This jutsu is a passive for any and all Aburame. XXXPsuedo Chōmei • You can summon Chōmei, the Nanabi, in a more weakened Psuedo form that is still big but weaker. This summon can be brought forth and lasts for 5 posts before needing a 5 post cooldown. This summon can only be performed twice during any battle situation. Chōmei has all of his techniques available EXCEPT for the Bijuudama, as well as his stats are 7 SP/6 ST on their own. Its kinda like how the Kyuubi has split Yin and Yang versions of himself, both weaker when separate but strong together. Your using a piece of Chōmei since he is an insect but you cannot use the demon-like aspect of him whatsoever, hence why its Psuedo. The other reason why its Psuedo because its creation of all of the bugs of the area coming to your aid, fusing together, and you using your chakra to transform them all together, thus its extremely obedient to you. The regular Chōmei is an a*****e and would never really follow you. xxxxxTECHNIQUES
• True Insect Pursuit Technique C
A female insect can be left on a target, which then can be tracked by smell by the male insect, or scout insects can be sent out and return to tell the host information about the area.
• Quick Scuttling Movement Passive
The user disperses into multiple insects that can then scatter and move quickly. These same insects then form together to become the user again, a technique that can only be used outside of battle.
• Fly On The Wall Technique Passive
The user gains the vision of an insect, being able to look all around them at 360 degrees perfectly. The user can also use this technique to see through the eyes of insects within the area that they dispersed, using their vision as the user's vision.
• Kikaichuu no Jutsu (Destruction Bug Technique) Passive
After being born, the clan member serves as the host nest for the kikai bugs. In return for feeding on the chakra the hosts' body provides, the insects will do the bidding of the clan member. The host can use the bugs to seek out the chakra of the opponent and attack them or use the bugs for their own techniques.
• Mushi Yose no Jutsu (Insect Gathering Technique) Passive
After forming the needed hand seals, the clan user will place their hand to a surface and extend a web-like chakra lure to insects in the surrounding area to their location. Running this web over the area will cause any nearby bugs to walk up into it and follow it back to the source.
• Mushi Bunshin no Jutsu (Insect Clone Technique) C-S
Using the destruction bugs living in their body, the clan host uses the bugs to form a Bunshin copy of them self to trick their opponent. Once damaged by an attack, the technique ends and the clone disperses back into the bugs which formed it. If higher ranked chakra is used, it turns into a True Insect Clone and can withstand A-rank and lower damage twice before dispersing (once for S-rank attacks), when hit the first time, it breaks apart but reforms again.
• Hijutsu: Mushidama (Secret Technique: Insect Sphere) B or A
Using the destruction bugs living in their body, the clan host will disperse his bugs over a wide area surrounding the target. These bugs will then coalesce into a sphere that will envelope the target. The bugs can then feed off the target's chakra. For A-rank chakra, instead of feeding off of the user's chakra, the sphere will shrink further and further, proceeding to crush the opponent inside unless they can escape.
• Mushi Kabe no Jutsu (Insect Wall Technique) B
After forming the needed handseals, the clan user will expel the destruction bugs living in their body. The bugs will surround the member and fly at a high rate of speed forming a protective wall vortex. The vortex will be strong enough to destroy incoming bug attacks. The vortex can be disrupted and the clan members inside rendered vulnerable if sufficient explosive force is expended outside the protective shell.
• Mushi Kame no Jutsu (Insect Jar Technique) B
Using insects, the user creates a dome-shaped shield spinning at high speed, allowing them to take out any incoming attack. However, this technique could be stopped by sufficient explosive force.
• Hijutsu: Mushitatsumaki (Secret Technique: Insect Tornado) A
This technique covers the enemy's entire body with the insects living inside the user's person. The chakra-seeking insects spread over a wide range, and the moment they locate the enemy, the insects, following the user's orders, gather at once completely surrounding the target creating a fast-moving tornado that will seemingly disintegrate the target.
• Mushi Ken (Insect Fist) C
This technique allows the clan member to shape their bugs into a large fist which acts as an extension of the clan members arm. This fist is as dense and durable as iron. Though slow it can deal a massive blow, great enough to break bones and send the target back several meters. It is also capable of extending itself to a maximum of three meters. It can only be used to strike twice before dispersing.
• Mushi Jamingu no Jutsu (Insect Jamming Technique) B
This technique is more beneficial against sensor ninjas; the user allows the insects to spread throughout the the area in order to emit a small amount of the users chakra (that they've fed on) into the battlefield. This disrupts the opponents chakra-sensing ability to locate where the user is (as it creates false images of the user).
• Hijutsu: Mushimayu (Secret Technique: Insect Cocoon) B
The user encases themselves in a cocoon to accelerate the speed of the insects development. Although this is extremely useful to the user, it's also incredibly dangerous due to the fact that it leaves them vulnerable and open to any sort of attack.
• Mushi Hifu no Jutsu (Bug Skin Technique) D-S
This technique allows the clan member to be encase within a shell of bugs. The user completely covers their body with bugs for extra protection. The bugs are like little plates of steel that cover the user body. They are reinforced by the users chakra which is why they are so strong. These bugs area strong enough to stand up to weapons and taijutsu, but are weak to ninjutsu.
• Bōsui no Jin (Spindle Formation) B
In order to stop their enemy from retaliating, the user has the insects attacks the enemy in a spiraling motion.
• (Human Cocoon Technique) D-S
The user creates a waterproof cocoon in order to hide or spy on the enemy. The cocoon is able to mask the chakra of the user, however, those of higher rank are able to easily detect it.
• Metamorphasis I B
The user encases themselves in a sphere made of bugs and reinforces the sphere with chakra to strengthen its defenses. Within this sphere, the user's wounds are repaired slowly by insects that start to close open wounds and repair tissue. This sphere lasts for 4 posts before crumbling and can only be done twice during any battle situation.
• Metamorphasis II A
The user encases themselves in a sphere made of bugs and reinforces the sphere with chakra to strengthen its defenses. Within this sphere, the user's body gains an appendage of an insect that they can use for 5 posts before it crumbles. This appendage moves +1 faster than the user and always seeks out the opponents chakra to snuff it out. This technique can only be used three times during any battle situation.
• Metamorphasis III: Insectoid Sage Mode SS
The user encases themselves in a sphere made of bugs and reinforces the sphere with chakra to strengthen its defenses. Within this sphere, the user's body gains 4 appendages of different insects that attach to him (which need to be expressed clearly what they are). All four appendages move at +1 speed, moving faster than you do and search for the opponent's chakra to snuff it out completely. (i.e. can have the wings of a bee to fly, feelers of a fly for sensing, horn of a beetle for rushing and attack, and have the legs of a spider for constant assault.) Each appendage would need to be destroyed, or destroy the user entirely, to stop the technique before the end of its duration. It lasts for 5 posts and can only be used once during any battle situation.
xxxxxADDITIONAL COMMENTS Didn't mean to bug you, get it? bug you? xxxxxRESTRICTIONS • One element, sub-element is taken by the Insectoid sub-element.
• No cursemark
• Earth element is needed to use the Psuedo Chomei ability xxxxxMEMBERS Head: HEAD HERE
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• [ Revamped by: had0u ]
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