Evergleam Giveaway & Lotto -- Gleam On!

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and thirty-three

87. Total commitment is essential. If I discover that I have not truly and completely gone over to the Dark Side, I will immediately suspend all world-domination efforts until that last morsel of Goodness can be expunged.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and thirty-four

88. Planting a tracking device on the Hero doesn't mean I shouldn't also use other means to track him.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and thirty-five

89. The "safety" switch on my personal blaster and laser sword will in fact be a "reverse" or "overload" switch.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and thirty-six

90. If I cannot take the time to create and remember a nonsensical 12 digit password with numbers, symbols, and alternate cases, I might well keep my Ultimate Plan in an ASCII file on my desktop.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and thirty-seven

91. If my Evil Offspring is corrupted by the forces of Good, I will not try to attempt to bring him back to the Dark Side. I will give him up as a lost cause, eliminate him if he goes against me, and find a suitable Evil protege somewhere else.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and thirty-eight

92. I will always keep a few Useless but Loyal Advisors on the payroll and in proximity, both to help my enemies underestimate me, and to provide a few extra bodies between the enemy and myself should my defenses be penetrated.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and thirty-nine

93. I will exploit my subjects, but not to the point of destitution, decrepitude, or desperation. I'm Evil, not Stupid.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and forty

94. If reputable prophecy dictates that I will be defeated or killed by a certain person or event, I will not waste time trying to eliminate him or prevent it. I will enjoy my power for all it's worth, as long as I can, and meanwhile devote reasonable energy to a search for new prophecy that will get me out of the first one.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and forty-one

Well, I'm out of lists on that page. You know what this means right? Hell, yeah, I'm looking up Chuck Norris jokes!  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and forty-two

Hrrm. Well, I've found some. Now I need to find Appropriate Chuck Norris jokes. After I'm done reading these.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and forty-three

A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.

I laughed so hard at this one I HAD to put it up. Oh man. No sense at all. xd  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and forty-four

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
*snicker* xd Everything explained!  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and forty-five

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

And the search continues...  

[Divash]

Ambrai

Divash

*signs up as minion #1 to this evil overlord* Now, this is a leader I can really get behind. This one thinks things through!

Nudge seven hundred and eleven

redface I didn't make these, you know...I just didn't have anything to ramble about. (however, if you could find the author of them, I don't doubt they wouldn't be flattered by the offering of a minion)

True, but you have the good sense to adopt these principles and practices as your own, which makes you ahead of the curve.  

[Ambrai]

Nudge seven hundred and forty-six

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.