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Wow geez.

But I built that kitchen for all of you. sad

But it's where you belong. How can you be happy anywhere else?

This had better be your trademark sarcasm, or my gymnastics ribbons are finding their way around your throat.

And for the record, I can't cook worth s**t.
edit: @Wayne

Well, it's not really all that funny man.

i am going to make a thread for men in the spirit of fairness and then i will stop being sexist

=)

Classic women jokes are classic.

Powers of Powerness

It was a routine expedition. Nomega and Kath, err, Kath's sister (I don't get it either) were perusing the tomb of King Iggrydysialx. Nomega was using sonar technology derived from his Cult Cast player (though it STILL doesn't have a “play” button) and Kath..'s sister was applying, uh, HER makeup. Neither of them were smiling. Nomega was too focused and Kath was too angsty. :'(

Suddently, Nomega came upon a coffin. He wiped his man-juice off of it and examined the runes. “Powerful Warlcock” it said.

But it was too late. The lid blew off and crushed Nomega. The cast player would never get that play button now. Kath's sister looked in fear at the entity and shrieked like a little girl and totally not a boy. The entity looked at her, and examined her very being. He then crushed it with a blink. Kath's sister was dead. Kath would have been very sad but he coincidentally died on the same day, at the same time.... in the same place. Weird.

Author's note: Nomega is not really dead; that was for suspense! Kath is, though.

The Warlock remembered who put him in that chamber, and headed for... The Nintendo Cult.

“I know what do,” he cackled to himself as he crossed the desert incredibily.

Everybody in the guild was posting in the Spam Can, because no one uses the main forum anymore. They were talking about how many posts they have, even though for most of them it was just “PAU” 8000 or so times.

Then Nomega burst through the... internets. His thumb was really messed up. No, the other one.

“What happened?” Orphie asked, as Allegro was already planning a way to troll Nomega's newly crippled thumb.

“Powerful Warlock,” Nomega said, “He's back.”

Everyone in the guild that watched anime all gasped in order and got cool little effects behind their head to emphasize their shock.

Then Waynebrizzle, who was a paladin in the original battle, stood.

“I will handle this,” he said. And then he was vaporized. Powerful Warlock had reached the guild, and he was playing for keeps. All that was left were a pair of hot pants, and some bubbling fat. Okay, a lot of bubbling fat.

Orphie grasped the fat in her hands. Everybody tried to look sorry for her, but they were really just disgusted. A bubble popped in her face, and nobody could tell the difference between tears and blubber. She was blubbering. HEHEHEH

Allegro was angered by this. He put on his cowboy hat and sunglasses, and he retreated to the nearest tower. He dawned his Australian accent, and called on his pet kangaroo. He meant business.

Powerful Warlock went for Orphie, but a bullet struck his force field and distracted him. He pulled the bullet out of his field and noticed that there was a small face engraved in it. The face looked like this: cool . There was a sniper nearby. Powerful Warlock was concerned. He had never dealt with Team Fortress classes before. He duplicated himself 69 times and searched for the sly assassin (who was Allegro!!).

But the Warlock still wasn't done with Orphie. Two of his duplicates went for her. But she was not alone. Every boy in the guild who liked her went to her side. That's somewhere around 39 people. It wasn't enough to stop even one of the clones, but Orphie was able to escape, and take the Paladin's sword, the Galtrad. It was wielded by Toby in the second coming of the Warlock. It had the power to stop him. It also had a face engraved on it. The face looked like this: <=====3

Allegro was still firing away at all the clones, but it seemed hopeless. He'd only managed to break through one duplicate's field, and just that took about 20 shots. Nomega was with him. He asked Nomega to find him some more ammo.

When Nomega came back Allegro was glad.

“Where's my ammo?” he asked.

And then Nomega impaled him. Allegro slumped, he kneeled, his shades fell off, and they cracked on the blood-stained floor. It was Powerful Warlock disguised as Nomega. Powerful Warlock had just looked on GameFAQs and found out that spies can be effective against snipers. Powerful Warlock has worldwide Wi-Fi access.

“You b*****d!” Nomega fired his cult cast player, which had been modified into a gun (but still had no play button). The shots made contact, but didn't break the field. He drained all the batteries into one charge shot and fired. It was the most dramatic shot anyone had ever taken. I mean, he missed, but it looked really cool.

Powerful Warlock was tired of Nomega's meddling. He grabbed Nomega by the throat and held him in the air. He pulled out his p***s. He was going to rape Nomega. Did you guys know that 3 out of 4 women are raped? Powerful Warlock rapes 2 out of those 3 women who are raped. Stop laughing, it's not funny. Nomega getting a p***s up his butt is not funny.

It's not funny because it never happened. Orphie had sneaked up on the Warlock and stabbed him in the back with the Galtrad. It pierced his field and killed him. All of the duplicates disintegrated and left robes behind. Everyone in the guild wore the robes to parties and could fly with them.

Oh, Nomega died, by the way. Orphie stabbed too far and killed him too. Good job, Orphie.

Dedikayted 2 tha brayv FBI