Corrupt A Wish (C'mon... you know you want to...)

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted. You get tomorrow off. However, you have to work every day, including day.

I wish my sister would stop being a whore.  

[Zahzi]

Granted. ULTRA-NUN!

I wish the kids next door would shut the ******** up...  

[Sielent]

Granted. Now they just come over and is all up in your space.

I wish this article would write itself.  

[Zahzi]

Granted. But it's written in Ebonics.

I wish the cold-snap would return..  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted. You're buried alive in snow and your southern body can't handle it and you freeze to death.

I wish my hands didn't itch.  

[Sielent]

Granted. Now you itch everywhere else.

I wish it was the end of the day.  

[Zahzi]

Granted. END OF DAYS!

I wish RGI's hands itched more!  

[Sielent]

Granted but now your whole body itches.

I wish disease didn't exist.  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted. But when aliens come with their diseases we're all die because we lack immune system.

I wish to shank Zahzi.  

[Zahzi]

Granted. But you have nothing to shank me with.

I wish I had a megaphone to laugh triumphantly with.  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted. But it also works as a cow mating ball, and you get raped by a bull.

I wish my wish was immune to corruption.  

[Zahzi]

Granted, but you didn't wish for s**t!

I wish for FIRE!  

[Sielent]

Granted, but you're in an air tight room.

I wish for fuzzy socks!  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted. Animals think they're other animals and regularly attack your feet in an extremely violent fashion.

I wish I could shower.  

[Sielent]

Granted, but it's ice cold water and the only thing to wash with is a scratchy shrub.

I wish I wasn't sick anymore...