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 Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:47 am
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Oh man, that last one was good.... but THIS one is better!
Leon:
Sup, Y'all, my names Mr. Scott
I'm a member of S.T.A.R.S., well actually I'm not.
I was though, but some s**t went down
and zombies were all wandering all through town
but it's all right, I'll hole up in the gun shop!
Woah, Easy Mr. Kendo, you nearly blew off my top!
Ok, now I'm safe, this guy'll protect me
I mean we got all the bullets right? So who'll correct me
Oh Holy s**t, they brought Kendo DOWN
That turned my bright smile into a grissly frown
Alright, grab his gun and through the back alley
Blow away some zombies, damn what a finale`
Ok, I'm here, I reached the station
I hope it's not like this throughout the nation
I wander about, hey look its marvin!
Damn, he looks bad, like he's hurt or starvin`
I looked about, hey look a headless dude
What the ******** is that! It scared me! How rude!
Ok, I blew its brains out, now what do I do?
Ah! It got on me, I'm covered in nasty goo!
All right, back on track, What am i looking for again?
Oh well, I'll cap some more zombies just for the win.
Lets skip ahead here, too much MISC stuff
I've got my fill of Birkin, which was more than enough...
Ok, on to the train, we's gettin`the hell out of here!
hey wait, whats that? OW!! THAT HURT!
Basterd cut through my good shirt!
Jeezus, Ada please come help...
You know, your body is nice... this is the first time I felt...
I mean uh, thanks, ok, now moveing on!
I activated the tram, so whats takeing so long!
Claire! Come on, it's gonna leave without you!
Ok, you made it, but Birkin did too!!!
Kick his a** right the hell off!
We survived that thing? Yes! but now I gotta cough...
Ada:
six years past, and I'm at it again.
Leon's here too, but since when?
Oh well, he can't see me, not now anyway
maybe on some other night or day
My dress is red, but why am I in it?
*Sigh* my boss is a moron, thats most definite.
Oh well, these villagers are weak, they have no power
except the one with the chainsaw, he'd kill me on the hour
but I have a gun, and a good one too
they're all just flies, so with this I say shoo!
Ow! They hit me! something in my neck...
I'm so tired... what the heck...
zzzz
zzzz
I hear some voices, what are they saying
and why on this rock am I laying?
Oh god, he has an axe! Front flip forward!
Wow, if I was in the olympics, I'd win an award.
Ok, out of the village and into the castle
leon just hd to make it into a hassle...
But thats alright, I'll just move on
Wesker doesn't let me have any fun
now I gotta deal with this jerk named Jack?
Whats wesker thinking? this guy's a hack
Oh well, its too late, Leon killed his a**
and he's getting closer to saddler, better act fast.
I stunned the man, but just for a moment
Lets's give leon a toy, just for his enjoyment.
He blew him to hell, thats the end of that man
now to proceed with my and weskers plan.
I took the sample, and I jumped away
Wesker thinks that he won this day
but don't worry leon, I sent him a surprise
this won't end with my or your own demise.
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 1:33 pm
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Someone tell him to stop trying. It's like watching 50 Cent trying to win beef against D-Block. It ain't happening. This is my final one. I'm done. If you wanna keep coming at me, you're wasting your time. I'm done. Here's my 108 bars to end it.
Wesker:
My name is Albert Wesker and this is my story,
An epic tale about power and glory,
I aspired to be and Umbrella scientist,
But with William's genious, no one saw that I exist,
So I shifted my position to Intelligence field,
To figure out Spencer, it could get me killed,
I worked for Umbrella since I was eighteen,
But my true intentions would never be seen,
The incident happend, a blessing in disguise,
It was just what I needed to claim my prize,
I lured the STARS member on Umbrella's grounds,
Some worthy test subject, I seemed to have found,
I blackmailed Barry to plot against Jill,
But made sure that none of survivors were killed,
Lured Chris into the labs, where the Tyrant awaits,
Lured Jill as well, using Barry as bait,
I injected the virus that I got from Will,
I'd come back as a superhuman if I was killed,
Released the Tyrant from its quiet sleep,
And let it attack me, the wound was so deep,
Next thing I know, I'm up and about,
My plan was perfect, I had no doubt,
Little did I know that those damn meddling STARS,
Would kill my creation using the L.R.,
The STARS got away, and the lab detonated,
I swore my revenge, they will be eradicated,
Two months later, Raccoon went in unthinkable state,
The T-Virus leaked, creating an outbreak,
With my new organization, I needed the G sample,
That's when I hired Ada, her skill level was ample,
Umbrella issued an assassin all the way from France,
His name was Nemesis, monster with a one eyed glance,
His mission was to hunt down Valentine,
The sample of Ne-T had to be mine,
But all that aside, let's focus on Ada,
Who made a mistake, it's okay, we all made em,
She happened to meet, a damn, rookie pig,
Leon S. Kennedy, he really cost me big,
Ada's affection really grew for that fool,
Should have told her to kick him into iron smelting pool,
Gun pointed at Leon, she demanded the G,
But she hesitated, disappointing me,
She got shot in the shoulder by Annette,
Then fell off the catwalk, saving her I regret,
I healed her to get to one final G-Virus source,
I'm of course, talking bout, William Birkin's rotting corpse,
What happened there after is not my concern,
The self destruct system made everything burn,
In my possession now, is Willaim's daughter, Sherry,
Because the potential of Birkin is scary,
Three months go by, we attack Alfred's base,
T-Veronica virus had to be in that place,
I later find out, much to my satisfaciton,
Claire was on the island, I had to take action,
My initial plan, was to take her life,
But more beneficial was if she survived,
And surely enough, a short time has passed,
Chris came to the rescue, that mistake would be his last,
I was ready to kill him, but seconds after,
I was distracted by Alexia's laughter,
The b***h was in Antarctica, I should have known,
Business before pleasure, it's where I had to go,
I sent some new Hunters to take care of Chris,
I thought they would kill him, a swing and a miss,
In Antarctica though, I finally find,
The lovely young woman, and the monster inside,
To my surprise, she was extremely tough,
I though one strong punch would have been enough,
So, then I see Chris on the floor not too far,
And let him do my dirty work, like back in STARS,
Next thing I know, Alexia is dead,
But it's fine, because we got Steve, instead,
As one final task, I had to kill Chris,
So I kidnapped his little Sis',
Luring him in the area right near my escape,
I slapped him around, but it wasn't my day,
He caused some bit beams to fall on my head,
The poor little fool thought I'd be dead,
What saved him was that big explosion,
It damaged my face, and my face is my fortune,
I let him go this time, but we'll meet again,
I laughed my maniacal laugh, as he ran,
In two thousand four, again, I sent Wong,
I trusted her, didn't know how much I was wrong,
I reallyshould have just went there myself,
Because you can't trust other people to help,
See, Krauser was loyal, he had real potential,
Of course his survival wasn't really essential,
I just wish that Leon was killed on that mission,
Because in annoyance, there's no competition,
Surviving all odds, Ada probably helped,
For that in the depths of hell she will melt,
With the sample in hand, Ada's mission success,
She had real potential, but made such a mess,
She kept the Las Plaga and sent me a decoy,
For that, before long, I'll have her destroyed,
No wait, hold on, scratch that, I'll do it myself,
Can't trust anybody to be of good help,
I'll find Ada, and Leon, Jill, Chris and Barry,
And I'll kill them all, their deaths will be scary,
Because I'm Albert Wesker, and you have my word,
With Umbrella's return, I will rule the world!
I returned to the South Pole, in two thousand three,
I had to return what belonged to me,
But right now it's not something I can recall,
Just be sure to get my new game in the fall,
Umbrella Chronicles will be the name,
My name's Albert Wesker, and we'll meet again.
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 2:38 pm
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Alright, because I hate being an a** hole, and the only reason I would post another one of these is just for enjoyment,I'm not going to post another rap, but since I don't wanna make ne of those right now, I have something new in mind.
Alexia to Wesker
Alexia: Your not worthy of this power!
Wesker: Your not worthy of yo momma...
Alexia: What did you say?
Wesker: I said yo momma's so ugly, she was the first 'original' zombie!
Chris: Yo momma battle! Yo mamma battle!!
*A crowd of Resident Evil characters and a bunch of zombies gather around them.*
Alexia: Yo momma's so stupid, she thought the T-virus originated in China!
Crowd: Ooooh!
Wesker: Oh yeah? Yo momma's so fat, even of hoarde of zombies couldn't bring her down.
Crowd: Oooooh!
Alexia: Well yo momma's such a retard that she used the red herb to heal the poisen status!
Crowd: Oooooooh!
Wekser: Well, Yo Momma's so stupid that when she needed to make space in her inventory, she got rid of the rocket launcher for a handgun!
Crowd: oooooooooooooh!!
Alexia: yo momma's so insane, my brother took lessons from her!
Crowd: OOOOooooohhh!!
Wekser: yo momma's so ugly, she sent Nemesis screaming down the highway!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhh!!
Alexia: Alright, if thats how you wanna play, Yo momma's so stupid, when Nemesis said S.T.A.R.S., she staretd nameing off celebrities!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Billy Coen: That's it! I'm calling it! And the winner here... with out a doubt... is... Alexia!
Crowd: YAH!!!! ALEXIA, ALEXIA, ALEXIA!!
*In the last screen*
Wesker: man, I brought it, dropped it like its hot, and spun it like it was silk, but I still didn't get any recognition. Damn basterd just wasn't on my side.
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:35 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:43 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 8:15 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 9:30 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 9:36 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:21 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:23 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:26 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:27 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 11:16 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 11:28 pm
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Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:24 am
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Ok, I have some more Resident Momma joke, this one is against everyone's facvorite two heroes, Chris and Leon, this is the setting...
Chris: God dammit Leon! Quit takeing all the ammo!
Leon: That's what yo momma said last night...
Chris: What?
Leon: I said yo momma's so ugly that she's the second head on birkin!
Chris: Oh yeah? Well yo momma's like a shot gun, one c**k and she' ready to blow!!
*A crowd gathers up*
Leon: Tch, I've heard better yo momma jokes from Nemesis!
Crowd: ooooohh
Chris: You wish you could think up good yo mommma jokes but your too busy chaseing around that b***h in the red dress!
Crowd: ooooooohhh
Leon: b***h, yo momma's so fat that the Leech man couldn't suck out all her blood!
Crowd: oooooohhhh
Chris: Man, yo momma's so stupid that she used the red key on the blue door!
Crowd: oooooooooohhhh
Leon: Yo Moma's so ******** ugly that tyrant s**t himself at the sight of her!!
Crowd: OOOOOHHHHH
Billy Coen: Sto pstop stop! Alright, the winner here without a shred of doubt is... :LEON!!
Crowd: LEON, LEON, LEON!!
*Final scene*
Chris: Damn... Little lucky blonde basterd...
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