Corrupt A Wish (C'mon... you know you want to...)

[Sielent]

Granted. He dies in a duel 5 minutes after you meet him.

I wish I would stop dying in these corrupted wishes...  

[Zahzi]

Granted.
You just don't exist!

I wish for my dog to SHUT THE ******** UP!  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted.
Now the neighbor kids won't shut up.

I wish you people would stop killing my sexy cowboy.  

[Sielent]

Granted. He just turns into a non-sexy cowboy.

I wish I could find the staple remover...  

[Zahzi]

Granted. But it's broken.

I wish for NOTHING!  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted. But out of the kindness of our hearts, we give you a cake anyway.
But you can't have your cake and eat it too.

I wish my non-sexy cowboy was sexy again, and you guys don't kill him!  

[Sielent]

Granted, but he decides to change careers and becomes a rotten pirate.

I wish it wasn't so dang cold here >.<  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

God damn it.

Granted. It's now unbearably hot.

I wish I wasn't stuck watching Friends.  

[Sielent]

Granted. Whatever you're using to watch friends breaks.

I wish the sniffles didn't exist...  

[Zahzi]

Granted. It has been replaced with a flesh-eating disease.

I wish for a fish!  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted. You get a shark and it eats you.

I wish Microsoft would fix my LIVE account.  

[Sielent]

Granted. Windows LIVE just shuts down completely so there's nothing to fix.

I wish this flesh eating disease turned back into sniffles.  

[Zahzi]

Granted. You're still stuck with the sniffles, though.

I wish for light!  

[Randomly Gone Insane]

Granted. You get a light bulb, but there's no where to put it.

I wish I didn't have to cut wood anymore.  

[Sielent]

Granted. You're now cutting steel.

I wish i knew what to wish for.