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[Jedi Master Acey]

Today,i was having a horrible day. During english,i was texting my boyfriend about it, saying how i really needed a hug. he stoped replying, and i felt a little hurt. then a few minutes later, he can running into my classroom,out of breath from running down from the 3rd floor to my 1st floor class, gave me a huge hug, and ran out. his class was drama, and he was wearing a kilt. i know i chose the right guy. MLIA.  

[Jedi Master Acey]

Today, my horse-riding friend and I were on a bus, and we had fallen silent. My friend turned to me and asked "Why do you use a whip?" Meaning when I am riding my horse. I replied "So he knows who is dominant, otherwise he won't come into my hand." There was an awkward silence around us as we realised what we had said, until an elderly woman leant forward and said "You show 'em who's boss, love," and winked at us. We spent the rest of the bus trip trying to work out what other suspicious horsey things we can say in non-horsey areas. MLIA  

[Jedi Master Acey]

Today, I woke up holding a tangerine. I am so confused. MLIA.  

[Jedi Master Acey]

Today, I was doing college research, when I came across a school that has an annual "Pterodactyl Hunt". It said, "One night a year, pterodactyls appear and attack the campus. Thankfully, brave students are there to repel the assault." I know where I'm applying to next. MLIA  

[Jedi Master Acey]

The other day, I walked into the science class that I aide for. I walked up to the teacher and asked "what do I need to do today?" He proceeded to pull out a potato gun and told me to shoot at the kids in the back of the room. MLIA  

[Jedi Master Acey]

Today, I realized the voice inside my head speaks with a British accent when it gets excited. MLIA

my inside voice is slowly turning British, too o_o HURRY UP AND FINISH TURNING INTO A BUTTERFLY, CLARKY B|  

[Jedi Master Acey]

Today, i sent a text to my mum saying " guess what! i just got to ride in a police car!" she called me freaking out, asking what i did, how could i do something so disappointing and if i need bail out money. I decided not to remind her that i'm a cop and get to ride in a police car everyday to see if she figured it out. she hasn't yet. MLIA  

[Jedi Master Acey]

Four years ago, when i was 18, i noticed that at night my front window is very reflective so i was pretending to dive in slow motion and shoot, dual pistol style. Suddenly a really hot girl walked past and i was startled and fell over. Embarrassed i waited for a bit and then stood up. As i stoop up i saw her slowly shooting an imaginary rifle from behind a car. We then proceeded to do this for 10 minutes until she did an extremely dramatic death. She wasn't getting up so i went outside to meet her. Once i got to where she was, there was nothing but a piece of paper with a mobile number on it. Today, we are getting married. MLIA  

[Jedi Master Acey]

Today, I was reading someone's status on facebook. Someone's status was "Why does there have to be school tomarrow" someone commented "Because you spelled tomorrow wrong." I died laughing. MLIA  

[Jedi Master Acey]

So, I never thought a MLIA would happen to me but, this morning I was outside eating almonds and a squirrel ran by me. I offered him and an almond and he accepted. A few minutes later he came back and gave me an acorn. I think I took part in the first Squirrel Thanksgiving. MLIA.  

[Jedi Master Acey]

I got into a debate with a friend at lunchtime about what you could put in a sandwich. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that nothing bigger than an elephant could fit in a sandwich. I said that you could make a sandwich out of the world if you tried, a theory he rejected. So I went home and got my friend in New Zealand to put a piece of bread face down in her garden while I put one face down in mine (I live in Ireland). World Sandwich Completed. MLIA  

[Jedi Master Acey]

I had just come home from College for Thanksgiving break to visit my family. I have long hair(I am a boy) and was showing off my recently pierced ear. All 5 of my sisters were teasing me about how I looked just like a girl. Saddened, I sat down next to my grandma. She gave me a hug and said "Robbie, if those girls keep teasing you, just go ahead and hit them with your purse."MLIA  

[Jedi Master Acey]

Today I overheard my sister's jerk boyfriend telling her that after his haircut he is going to look ten times better. My little brother then popped out of nowhere and said, "ten times zero is still a zero". MLIA.  

[Jedi Master Acey]

Today, I realised that my sister, who was born on 06/06/06, has a name that when spelt backwards is 'Ah, Satan!' It fits. MLIA.  

[Jedi Master Acey]

Today, I called my friend Robyn. An unfamiliar voice answered the phone, so I said, "Uhm, hi, can I talk to Robyn?" So the other man said, "No, but Batman is here, would you like to talk to Batman?". I now wish to call wrong numbers more often. MLIA