Yackity-Yack

[Gweener]

I would have guessed Ryu from Street Fighter, but...  

[Hazumu-san]

I thought he looked like something from that capcom fighting game.  

[ChainsawDooM]

You know... I came back and was going to write a really long reply about what we did in d&d last game, but then I got distracted and never finished it... :/  

[ChainsawDooM]

To be specific, I got distracted trying to look up the stats for a god called the Great Mother. Why? Because we killed her. It was totally her fault, though.

See, there's this chaotic evil plane called the Abyss. The Abyss is basically super-hell. In D&D cosmology, there are several evil layers of existence, With three of them being more well known than the others... so those are the ones I'm going to explain.

There's Lawful Evil Baator, which is basically Christian Hell. It has 9 layers, each layer becoming progressively more full of suck and ruled by a Devil, up until you get to Asmodeus on the 9th layer.

There's the Neutral Evil Gray Wastes of Hades... you know... where Hades lives.

And then there's the Abyss. The Abyss is Chaotic Evil, and depending on your source, has either infinite layers or 666. In addition, each of these layers can either have finite sizes or also go on forever... or... strange combinations of the two. Like, a layer might have boundaries if you try to go east or west, but you can continue to go north or south forever and never loop back. It's weird.

Unlike Baator, the layers aren't really numbered by depth, since not all planes actually connect to eachother in any logical way... like... ever (It is a chaotic plane...). The best way to think of how the layers are set up is to take a deck of cards, shuffle them, and then spray them all over the ground. Some are on top of eachother, and these are connected. The ones that are next to eachother are also connected. However, there are some that are just laying out there by themselves, and those are a lot more difficult to get to. Thus, the layers of the Abyss are numbered in the order in which they were discovered. So, unlike Baator, a higher number might not necessarily mean a higher suck factor and stronger monsters.

The River Styx flows through the top layers of the lower (evil) planes of Acheron, Baator, Gehenna, Hades, Carceri, The Abyss, and Pandemonium. It actually connects them together and flows in that order, so if you travel downstream on the Styx from Acheron, you will pass through those other planes until you finally reach Pandemonium.  

[ChainsawDooM]

Now, as far as the monsters go, the planar alignment plays a huge part. Lawful Evil people are like Lex Luthor. They prefer to get others to do evil for them, like to build fortresses and stuff, and they also tend to revel in making good characters fall into evil. LE are planners and schemers, the maniacal masterminds.

Neutral Evil is, basically, they'll do whatever they think they can get away with. They can also form elaborate plans, but unlike LE, have no qualms, and even enjoy getting their hands dirty... but only if they can get away with it. Both LE and NE can act like they are Neutral or Good, but NE is a far better actor.

And then we go to Chaotic Evil... an alignment of a special kind of suck. CE characters don't really plan. They also don't tend to give a s*** about the consequences of what they do. A lot of them don't even care if they die, as long as they're killing someone in the process. CE is that crazy guy who just one day showed up in a town with a sword and slaughtered everybody for absolutely no reason, and didn't even take anything from the town. Because CE is so unpredictable, and... well, such a douche, they are often considered the most dangerous.

I would liken an encounter with a CE character as a flash-burn battle, with no buildup and instant action with a guy that is crazy and wants to use your intestines as a jump rope... and them probably eat them. They probably don't have too many minions or a fortress, but will likely either attack you on sight or be doing something that will make you attack them on sight.

LE would be a much longer, more drawn out battle, with LE likely having multiple heavy fortifications, traps, an army of minions, and several escape plans.

With NE, the situation varies. If he thinks he can win, he might attack you like a CE would - head on without any real fear. Or, he may have a fortress and an army of minions. The worst case is if he's actually in your party and acting Neutral or Good, which he's quite good at. You better believe there's going to be sabotage and theft of important items... and maybe the occasional murder in your sleep.  

[ChainsawDooM]

Anyway, the story.

Alright, The Abyss. CE s**t everywhere, so it'll often try to kill you for no reason with no regards to itself. We were there because we needed something from the 666th layer of the Abyss. We didn't have to go through every layer, since we had a shortcut. So we fought back the demon welcoming party in the first layer.

A lot of god's make their homes in layers of The Abyss. We just happened to have to go through one called the Great Mother's layer. Well... just happened to, my a**. Really, it's because the DM is a d**k who wants us to encounter evil gods. Anyway, the Great Mother.

The Great Mother is the beholder God of beholders, magic, fertility, and tyranny. Her realm is known as the Realm of a Million Eyes, and there's eyes everywhere... on the walls, ceiling, even the ground. We just wanted to pass through her layer and get to the next one, but no, she had to be a douche about it. She was all like "I AM THE GREAT MOTHER! I KNOW ALL AND SEE ALL! I KNOW WHY YOU ARE HERE!" blah blah blah "HEY, YOU KIDS! GET OFF MY LAWN!" type stuff. Some talking happens that is really not important because everything we usually say she usually interrupts us with "I KNOW." or "I ALREADY KNOW THIS."

Pretty quickly, it becomes obvious that she wants to turn the female member of our party, who also happens to be our only healer, into some kind of perverse beholder baby factory. Apparently, that's what this god likes to do... god of fertility and whatnot.

So, other than why that is obviously wrong, since we are a predominantly Chaotic Good party, this s**t ain't going to fly. Not to mention the tactical ramifications. Beholders "eat" magic... so our only healer in the Abyss wouldn't have any magic for four months. Plus, it'll kill her when it comes out. F*** that deal. As my barbarian put it, "You want to make her a rape factory!? No!! With all due respect, we can't do that! You can read our minds, you should know why we can't do that!"

We argue, and she won't budge, until finally she disintegrated 2 party members (the ones being douches to her) and petrified 2 more. Then she turned me to stone, because while I wasn't being an a**, I was "eeny meeny miny moe" It was at this point that one of our characters one-shotted her. Yes, he one-shotted a god with a lightning bolt for around 975 damage. To be fair, her weakest attribute was her HP, with only around 365 hp. Everything else she had was godly. Plus, since we are playing a high-powered campaign, it's alright. It works out. And it was her own damned fault.

Anyway... my barbarian is getting tired of being cordial to gods and then getting turned to stone without a warning. I think next time I'll just do what always seems to work - Rage, Frenzy, Battle Fury and do my charge attack that slams you with both hands to do an automatic 570 points of damage on the first hit... and 117 on the next four. Heh... the best part about that attack is, that you can actually do that straight by the rules, without making any custom stuff. I don't want to explain it, because that gets into game mechanics which require way to much explanation. If anybody really just has to know how to make a broken character that'll piss off your DM, PM me and I'll give you the Human version and the completely overpowered version of my build, which uses a Thri-Kreen. There's also a Warforged version, but that's not mine. But... he's a lot less killable. However, I don't think he's as good in the ubercharger damage department.  

[ChainsawDooM]

Damn... I wish I could make those posts shorter so people will be more likely to reply to them... but it just didn't feel right to not explain everything...  

[Hazumu-san]

I think it was really interesting Chain. I think you explained everything pretty well too. Sounds like you had a nasty time, its too bad you couldn't talk your way out. I don't think I would like to meet the Great Mother of the Beholders...Eek!

I haven't been to the abyss in any of the games I have played, if fact I don't think that any party I've been in has been planes-hopping. blaugh I like playing role-playing games, its a great time to talk to friends and participate a story. The only time I don't like it is when people spend more time looking at rule books and not being active in the game.  

[Gweener]

Life is crap.
I am glad to have shared the friendships here, but I am ready to retire from Gaia.
I wish you all the best life has to offer.
May you find love and happiness.

Demote me; delete me. I cannot fulfill my obligations to the Guild any longer.

(I may log in every great while, and I'd be happy to remain friends and exchange pm's or msgs.)
~signing off... Gweenie  

[Hazumu-san]

I'd rather just keep you around smile

I think the guild is on its last legs...  

[Hazumu-san]

I hope everyone had a good weekend and is all recharged for the week! Lets hope so smile heart  

[lil4fingers]

hello hello~

 

[Hazumu-san]

Hello, hello, I hear you calling! smile

This is London blaugh  

[lil4fingers]

London? >.< question

 

[PieMonster2000]

^^