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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 6:06 am
I tried to fix up the mistakes.
Anyway, I'm off to bed. I have a big day tomorrow, WRITING J'S STORY. YEY
Anyway, night.
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 6:07 am
Awesome Tree J of The Wind Awesome Tree JJJJJJJJ Is this well written to you? http://s-dude.deviantart.com/art/What-Do-I-Do-140026077 Its seems structurally sound for the most part! However a couple of standouts to me: In this sentence: Quote: It felt like small fireworks were lit inside my stomach, for I had a sudden wave of ecstatic feelings wash over me, much like fireworks. Repetiotion is nice, but not really necessary. (personal opinion) And as for the ending, it was left a bit ambiguous. Like the twist could go either way. Was the question read as " Do you see yourself with anyone else in the future?" or " Do you see yourself with anyone else, other than the one your with, in the future?" Otherwise I find it to be well written. 3nodding But the subject wasn't with anyone. Was that a bit confusing? Edit surprised god, that was a big typo of the extra else. Well it is pretty straightforward a question, but the second way of reading it is a second way that I tried to analyze it. Like a question that could be understood in two ways, but both have opposite meanings.
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 6:08 am
Awesome Tree I tried to fix up the mistakes. Anyway, I'm off to bed. I have a big day tomorrow, WRITING J'S STORY. YEY Anyway, night. Hooray! Night buddy!
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 6:40 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:09 am
<_< >_>
*runs around naked*
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:11 am
digi734 <_< >_> *runs around naked* *popcorn falls out of mouth* @____@
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:12 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:13 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:15 am
@ Reg: And hello again. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:17 am
You say goodbye and I say hello, hello, hello. I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello, hello, hello. I don't why you say goodbye I say hello.
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:19 am
Regulust
You say goodbye and I say hello, hello, hello. I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello, hello, hello. I don't why you say goodbye I say hello. xd that's the only part of the song I remember, and I don't want to look up the lyrics. I knew you'd get it since you have the game. SOOOOOOO, how goes it?
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:21 am
teh_n00b_huntr Regulust
You say goodbye and I say hello, hello, hello. I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello, hello, hello. I don't why you say goodbye I say hello. xd that's the only part of the song I remember, and I don't want to look up the lyrics. I knew you'd get it since you have the game. SOOOOOOO, how goes it?
It's going good, I'm going to my dad's aunt's place for thanksgiving dinner.
You?
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:21 am
Regulust
You say goodbye and I say hello, hello, hello. I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello, hello, hello. I don't why you say goodbye I say hello.You say yes, I say no. You say stop, and I say go, go, go!
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:21 am
Totagomi @ Reg: And hello again. 3nodding
Hi Tote.
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Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 9:24 am
Regulust teh_n00b_huntr Regulust
You say goodbye and I say hello, hello, hello. I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello, hello, hello. I don't why you say goodbye I say hello. xd that's the only part of the song I remember, and I don't want to look up the lyrics. I knew you'd get it since you have the game. SOOOOOOO, how goes it?
It's going good, I'm going to my dad's aunt's place for thanksgiving dinner.
You?Alright, just doing more of the same, and looking for a job. Hope you enjoy your turkey day.
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