Why are people afriad to tell their parents?

[gallows humour]

I can remember coming out to my mom about it. That was pretty scary, actually. "You understand," I ended up telling her, "that if you're right about this God business, He's going to damn some of my friends and loved ones to an eternity of unbearable torture. How could I worship such a monster and live with myself?"

"I hadn't considered that," she said... and she let it go for a while, then she kept acting like I hadn't made up my mind about the matter... but I think now she's come to terms with the fact that I'm quite happy not believing that rubbish.  

[Prince Rilian]

People are afriad because they have to spend a lot of time with their parents and they usually derive a lot of emotional support from them. I've lost friends after telling them I'm not a christian. Losing your parents would suck even more. Losing your parents but still having to live with them while they have legal control over you would suck more still.

I remember when I was about 11-13, I was having some stupid philosophical new-agey "beliefs" and I was embarrassed to tell my mother about them, because I thought she would just laugh at me for believing anything. But I didn't really believe it, I just was trying to think of something that would make my christian friends look less ridiculous.

But I've given up on that. They are ridiculous. End of story. Boo hoo for them.

Anyway, my parents aren't christians.  

[Zekeachu]

I suppose I just got lucky. My parents aren't super Christian, we haven't gone to church for months (my mom goes to some chapel every now and then), and I think they found out for themselves, between falling asleep at mass, and begging to not have to go to CCD anymore. CCD being education in Christianity, if you didn't know. And I've been living in this hosuse for years, and I still am. xD  

[Niveous]

It hurts them.

That's why I won't tell them. Because to them being a Christian is a good thing. Its a pure thing. So it would be very upsetting to them. Cold Logic doesn't work on everyone.

They are smart enough to know religion has its flaws and so does the Bible, but to renounce a belief in God ruins some peace of mind in their eyes. So to me its only harmful. Some white lies are comforting.  

[Edi Gammon]

I don't know what you mean when you say that 'technically you're done with them when you graduate.' I suppose you mean legally. But to be 'done with' someone technically, to me means never communicating with them again. And that probably won't happen until either I'm dead or they are.

I was afraid to tell my father because I was afraid of my father in general. He's bi-polar, authoritarian, verbally abusive, but always laid down enough guilt trip and or threats and ultimatum to keep us together. In a family where the rest of us just strived to appease and avoid conflict, something as big as admitting you're on satan's team may just well be asking for a lifetime of punishment. And it's what I'm getting, in the usual, round-about passive aggressive kind of way... But it's been the kick in the pants I needed to start the process of disconnecting myself.  

[ellell89]

I was never scared to say I didn't believe in god, I picked the story apart the first time, that I remember I heard it. I'm talking Primary school year 1 or 2 that like 5 or 6, I just turned round and said thats's silly what made god?

so I came out as an Atheist at 5 before fear, but i suppose its different when your parents are agnostic.  

[worthless emo soup]

I was afraid to tell my parents at first because I knew they wouldn't understand and would force me to go to church. I didn't want things to get really awkward either.

 

[Nardone]

well i was for a little because when i declared myself atheist me and my mom werent too close.. so i guess i was jsut afraid of her thinking less of me.. but its about three years later now and she knows.. most of my family knows.. well i think they do.. it might just be my older sister and my little brother.. the others i havent really talked to in a while..
and also it was that she never asked.. i guess she kinda figured it out when i went to a religion class and loved nothing more then to ask logical questions.. i spent mroe time in the principles office then in the class room XD  

[G4NTZ]

I'm in pretty much the same boat as everyone else, I dont want to ruin the relationship I have with my family.  

[Celestial Fireflies]

I haven't told my mom, because I don't think she could comprehend it. I once asked, "What if there was no God?" She stared at me, dumbfounded, then asked, "Then how did I have you?" When I was a kid, she told me that God is the one who puts a baby in a woman's stomach; sometimes I wonder if she really does believe that. Anyways, even if she could comprehend it, I would fear her telling the rest of my family about it. My grandparents are fairly devoted to Catholicism, and still ask when I'm getting my confirmation. I would rather not have any awkward "talks" with them, either on the phone or whenever I see them again, so I'll keep to myself about it.

My dad, on the other hand, is cool. Though he does believe in God (not really committed to any religion, however), he respects the beliefs of others. I haven't had any problems discussing my atheism with him, and we've had some pretty deep conversations about religion in general. He also understands that my mom is not so open about religion, and has kept it a secret from her so far.  

[Labtech Soosh]

My grandma absolutely refuses to believe I'm an atheist no matter how many times I tell her. "Your not atheist, you just want to be different because everybody else in the family is Christian!" Ohoho she had what was coming to her... I've made it pretty ******** clear to my family I was atheist when I burned several bibles in an oil drum around the backyard that we call "the fire pit" ...it's where old newspapers and such are burned away...we're kind of red-necks.

>w>

 

[Edaeor]

My parents raised me so that I could choose the religion that I thought was best for me, they didn't want to push it on me.


But i guess choosing a non-religion (Atheism) was not one of the options. :/ Which surprised me as much as it surprised them.

My brother had said to my sister that he was an Atheist (he was like 9 or so) and my sister told my mom and while we were in the car coming home from my Cross Country practice It was brought up and she told my brother that 'You're not an Atheist, you just don't know what you believe' and I was like, 'Mom, I'm an Atheist.'

I swear I've never seen the car stop so fast before.

She then repeated the same thing she said to my brother so i told her:

"Mom, I don't believe in God, I think the bible is bullshit, and anyone who believes in that stuff are a bunch of brainwashed and hopeless slaved to the evil church. I'm an Atheist and if Dylan (my brother) says he's an Atheist, then he's an Atheist."

That was the EoD there and it was rarely ever mentioned. Then in my Senior year of high school, while tensions were high between my dad and I (I being a far left Democratic Socialist and an Atheist my dad being a Right Winged Conservative Republican) me and my Dad were 'talking' (read: arguing) and he said of my religious choice that he was 'Disappointed' and I told him that I was disappointed that he raised me to make the choice and then it upset at my choice, and that that was a bunch of bullshit in it of itself.

I live in the moment so I was always a little afraid to tell my parents I was an Atheist, but when in the moment like in the above two situations I just let out and I don't care. I haven't told the rest of my family, but it's all over my facebook where I constantly make Anti-Religious and Pro-Atheist comments. Turns out one of my favorite Uncles in the world (My dad's (who's actually my stepdad) half brother) shares my same beliefs, bonus points for him.  

[Swifter Taylor]

My parents are non-religious, so I was brought up an athiest. I did learn about religion, and I have attended church a couple of times for cub scout badges etc. Most of my friends believe in god, from non-churchgoing christians to full-blown fundamentalists.

My view is that religion is like politics - You inherit it from your parents to start with, and then pick an alternative viewpoint as you mature and come to realise things. As funny as it sounds, my parents and I actually have quite different reasons for being Athiest.

I find that my religious friends tend to view Athiesm as the worst belief to have. They don't mind other religions, but they wonder how I can get through life without thinking that there must be some great being guiding things.

I'm guessing most people here come from the US.
New Zealand is a very secular country, most New Zealanders are either Athiest or Christians in name only (i.e. they don't go to church or pray)  

[Henneth Annun]

Well, I never told them not because I was worried about 'ruining' a relationship, but the consequences that would follow once I told them.

Keeping quiet about it is better than what they would have done to me.

stressed  

[MercurialInK]

Yeah. I'm vocal about my beliefs at school, mostly because my teachers are more supportive than my parents ever had about what I think. Which is weird, because I go to a religious orthodox school... XD

But my teachers accept me as an opinionated teen, whereas at home... I'd have the constant bickering ("Its your fault your daughters going to hell for being a heretic!") ... my parents would guilt trip me ("obviously its my fault as a parent if you can't accept god").
I spend a lot of time just keeping my mouth shut at home, really.

So maybe its because we're afraid of loosing our parents that we don't alwasy speak our minds to them. Our friends and role models, we choose them. So we know they wont reject us for what we believe... Or not....