Numenore: Reloaded ~ A Numenorean RP

[Glorfirith Annun]

The Elvenqueen sat on her throne in her grand hall in Lindon. In her hand she held an invitation inviting her to a party in Armenelos.

Daerorchalmeluirin,

We request your presence at our grand costume ball. That is all.

The King

Elvenqueen Daerorchalmeluirin reread the invitation. She liked it, short and to the point. Now what would she wear?  

[Onoj]

On teh other side of Numenore, completely unawares to the plught of the...uh...other characters, walked a dwarf. With a spring in his step and a gleam in his eye he walked down the road. What the gleam was for we shall get to later, hold your horses Men of Rohan for it shall be revealed in due time.

He moved down a deserted road while the graveled popped under his feet, popped like tiny beetles being crushed under an elephant's foot in the deepest plains of Africa...yeah. To pass the time he began a short hum and in a low tone began singing an unfamiliar, but simple tune.

"I really really like...stuff. And my face is hard and my beard is gruff...y..." (Hey at least he is trying) " I really like stuff alot and leer...jets, whatever those are. Now shut up and bring me beer! Hooray!"
Getting an idea of what that gleam was for? wink

Well he kept walking until he came to a frok in the road. He took the left for no particular reason and around the corner there was lo and behold, a tavern! It gleamed bright in the sun and the dwarf had to shield his eyes from the beauty. "Ahh 'tis a wonderful sight!" he said. "It gleams like gold...GOLD??? GOLD!!! RAWR!!! MUST HAVE GOLD~!!!!"

At this he ran to the tavern eye blazing (he only had one) and axe flying. Upon reaching the door he remembered it was a tavern. He calmed down a bit, brushed himself off and went in. He sat down and ordered a beer. After a few rounds the barkeep deemed his too drunk to have more so he busted a cap in everyone's a** and took the keg. He walked down the road again, axe over one shoulder and keg over the other. He began his little ditty aga9in and kept walking down the road.

The end...or is it?@?@?@@?Rkiprhje[oijb[ieteb  

[curumo]

Francis pointed to the suitcase.

"The Moonshine's already packed, my lord. I wouldn't be much of a Steward if I didn't plan ahead, now would I?

"Now, if all preparations for your departure have been made, you should be on your way. Oh, and don't forget to avoid anything with cabbage. You know what that does to you."

The Steward was already making plans to further improve the royal garden... after Taco-Sauron and his merry band of illiterates had been dealt with, of course. Yes. Of course. The Steward's eyes shifted nervously. Vader couldn't read thoughts, could he? Francis couldn't recall.  

[Falathrim]

Arnor :: Imperial Throne Room

"I am most impressed, faithful Steward. You serve your Lord well. But alas! I am late, and the boat to Numenore shall part within the hour, and I must be gone! Fair thee well, faithful Steward! I am off!"

And thus Vader lifted up his suitcase, and he was off, and gone from the throne room. But for just a moment. Before Franics could even begin recovering from the exhasuting role of serving Lord Vader had he returned. "Say, faithful Steward, did you say you purchased... a shrubbery!? For if this be so, I simply must behold it before I depart! Roger the Shrubber does such fine work, as I am sure you agree."  

[Zach McClure]

((OOC--and trying again to post this. I have a really stupid mouse that has buttons on the sides, so if I'm not paying attention, I can accidently hit 'back'. So, re-typing everything.))

Maedhros wandered around Roger the Shrubber's cart pondering what shrubbery to buy. He was in the doghouse with his wife, a Teleri, for accidently referring to Ulmo as The Little Mermaid's father. He thought a shrubbery-wih a little path down the middle-might appease her fury. He had just chosen on with a nice leveling effect when he heard a shrill voice from behind him.

"Leik OMGOMGOMG11111!!!! It's Maedhros!!!111one!!! Can i leik get ur autograph???//"

"Hey! I was just thinking my name! You can't go and read my name and suddenly know it! that's poor Role-playing! And if you must know, I'm not really the Maedhros, it's just that when I was born, my mother saw that I had red hair and decided to name me after him. If you'd have looked, you half-minded twit, you'd have noticed that I'm a Man. No Elf in me, I'm a Man. And since we're not going with a serious RP, and Elainya wants to play a Teleri, I have an Elven wife. STFU!"

"Fkuc off ur meeeen!!!11"  

[Slacktopian]

Aetera, a woman of Gondor,((I love that name; I use it for everything, even my new mule sweatdrop )) sat on a hill top outside of Gondor. She gazed around her, breathing deeply and sighing. Just as she was relaxing, a fell voice cut through the air.

Leik, hav u sen LEGOLAS!!111! OMGOMG we leik herd he was HEREOMGOMG!!!111!!!1!!1! ((man, that's hard to type...))  

[Imyavie]

A young Numenorean woman named Alkwing. (yes its an elven name. Whatever.) rested just outside of Gondor's borders. "So relaxing...it reminds me of my childhood, says I." Suddenly, senseless rambling ceased her daydreams. "I say! What on Earth could that awful noise be?!" Alkwing stood up and hopped on her faithful horse, Epona, whom she....'borrowed' from the Hylians over the mountains, far far away. She halted as she saw a gruesome sight.

A young illiterate! Le gasp!

"Leeik , OMGOMG!!1!!! LEAGOLAS! Hes TAeh sessy!1!one"

"No...!" She gasped. She turned to see another young woman. "You there! Is this one of those illiterates? The evil beings the elders speak of?"  

[Elainya]

"Down by the bay, where the watermelons grow, back to my home, I dare not go!" Sang the Teleri woman as she watered her seaweed garden.

"For if I do, my mother would say, 'Have you ever Did you ever see a fangirl that didn't make you wanna hurl, down by the bay?"

Idly, she wondered where Maedhros had gone. She'd long since forgiven him of the King Tritan comment, actually she thought it was kind of funny. But whatever, maybe he was out getting her something.

((I can't think of a name yet.))  

[Glorfirith Annun]

The Elvenqueen was standing in her great bedchambers and ruffling through her walkin wardrobe. ((To NARNIA!! I couldn't help it...))

"There must be something suitable to wear for a costume ball... didn't I have one just several centuries ago!?" She huffed as she continued ruffling.

In the end she pulled out her brightest, shiniest dress and sat down with some glitter and various objects to make wings and a mask.

"I will be the most best gwilwileth at the costume ball!" She silently squeed to herself concentrating with her tongue sticking out slightly.

She worked on her costume until one of her maidens came to fetch her with her bags all ready packed for her. The maiden put the finished costume in her queen's bags while the queen stood to leave.

Unfortunately the queen caught herself in the mirror and realised she had glue and glitter everywhere and she screamed when she saw her hair.

If she was to get to the boat on time she needed to leave right away and had to leave her hair how it was. At least if anyone asked she could say she was going as a sparkley dwarf for the costume ball...  

[Slacktopian]

Aetera turned at the other woman's voice. "Yes, it is! She looks like a particularly nasty one, at that!"

Leik, r u talkn bout LEGOLAS!!!11!11!OMGOMG??//?

Aetera gritted her teeth, regaining her nerve. "Hurry! We'll send her back to the foul pits that spawned her!"  

[Thaxul]

Arnor: Edge of the City

*As Tom was making his way to the river, i search of his blade, he came upon a group of screeching girls. Him, being the stout Numenorean warrior, thought they were in trouble, and wanted to help. pfft, what did he know!*

"Fair maidens, what is your trouble?"

Liek W3 cant Find our LAgolis!!111!!! OMG wh3re is He??/// he is tEh secks OMG!!!111111!!!!

*Tom winced as they began to screech about this Lagolis. He knew now what they were, for they were the illiterates[insert creepy music here]*

"I'm sorry, I know not of who you speak."

*At this point, he heard a gruff voice coming down from a street nearby. Tom turned, and saw a slightly tipsy man. He pointed at the man.*

"He'll know where this Lagolis is."

*The girls screeched even louder at the mention of his name, and they ran over towards the man, shouting stuff about how Lagolis was secksy. Tom continued on towards the river for his blade, not thinking again of these horrible creatures.*  

[Hironaur]

The old man from scene 24 stood by the Great Bridge of Osgiliath ((it does exist, it does)) repeating his lines.

Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Dea-- I mean Osgiliath must answer me these questions five-- I mean three ere the other side he sees. Damn, I'll never get this.

But before he had a chance to practice again, he heard footsteps on the road.  

[Nimbrethil]

Arnor :: The Palace

Roger the Shrubber had just managed to find his way to the palace. Leading his horse Concorde and his delivery wagon up to the main gate, he looked around for guards, expecting to be challenged. Strangely, (and rather conveniently) there was no one about, so Roger pushed open the gate and walked into the main courtyard.

He paused underneath a conveniently placed window to catch his breath and decide where he should go to deliver his shrubbery. A brightly coloured, oversized helmet covered with streamers was lying on the ground a few feet away. Rather than risk any unpleasant consequences associated with touching the strange object, Roger quickly made up his mind to go around to the back to see if there was anyone there he could deliver the shrubbery to.

"They really need some signs or something in this place," he muttered, leading Concorde with the wagon toward the back of the palace, and giving the unexplained helmet a wide berth.  

[Falathrim]

Arnor :: Imperial Throne Room

While waiting for the Shrubber to arrive, the Lord Vader decided to recount some Arnorian history for who knows why.

"Right-hand man Ernest, faithful Steward, as you know, only two Numenorean cities remain on Middle-earth, and those are Arnor and Gondor. But alas! These cities are exactly four times the sum of twenty-eight point three six seven plus the difference of pi minus phi miles away from each other, and the River Drunkenwine lies between them!

"Seventeen years ago, the only bridge on the River Drunkenwine collapsed into the treacherous rapids below. This sucked, because the River Drunkenwine is three miles wide, minus one half of a mile. But my keen intelligence prevailed, and at the Plains of Osgiliath a new bridge was built.

"The plans were to build a thrid Numenorean haven at this location. Sadly, that didn't go to well, because we accidentally sprayed Anthrax on the soil. But the bridge is still usable!"

And then all was silent. For a moment; for it was not long ere Right-hand Man Ernest spoke up. "My Lord, if you are quite finished recounting history we all already know, I believe the Shrubber to be just outside the palace."

And Vader replied: "Well what are you waiting for? Bring him in!"

And so Ernest did. And there was much rejoicing.

Yay.  

[Thaxul]

((why do we always have to boil our jokes down to Monthy Python! lol))

River-Side

*Tom made his way down to the river, and started to look for his sword. he needed it to chop off the heads of the many illiterates that seemed to be invading the city. As he searched, he could hear a group of illterate fangirls screeching in the distance.

After a good two minutes of frantic searching, Tom finally found his blade. he unsheathed it, and examined it. it was a fine blade, made by the finest smithies of this great city. It had been what seemed like an age since he had chopped the head off anything, and he was ready to use it now. he muttered to himself*

"Time for some fangirl hunting!!"

*And with that, he made his way to the tavern he had been to earlier. he needed a refreshment before he could kill successfully.*