You're Asked To Say Grace... What Do You Say?

[Jackbedead]

dear god, thank you for this food that a farmer grew all on his own, then harvested, then shipped it off to the store where I bought it with my very own money, and then prepared all by myself (with a little help from my girlfriend). Please let it nourish us because we know that our bodies are incapable of absorbing the vitamins and minerals out of food without your go-ahead. thank you for gravity, and thank you for sending your son, jesus...wait a sec, if jesus was your son then wouldn't that make multiple gods? because he had godly power, and also prayed to YOU, so he's obviously a different person...anyways that's not the point. please heal the scratch I got on my hand while opening the can of tuna, for I know that without your blessing it will never even begin to heal and I'll bleed to death overnight. RAmen.  

[MoonLadyUmi]

well i go to a camp that's sponsored by the YMCA, so it's kinda christian, and every night we say TWO prayers. one is Taps, which is just too fun to sing, and the other is one that a camper makes up each night. i was a counselor in training this summer and so i had to be christin because non-christians are satanists and i had to give like three prayers throughout the month. i'm not quite athiest but pretty close, so i REALLY didn't wanna say "oh thank you lord our god for giving us lungs and air and the food which could not exist without your godly farmers." but i definitely couldn't say, "thank you non-existent god for the food which the camp bought with its own money." i just said "thanks for all our friends here at camp". it really sucked, cause the counselor heard from some people that i was talking about a book i read about vampires and paganism and she sat me down and was like, "we can't let the girls see that you worship vampires--". i was like, "whoa, now, i don't worship vampires." she so didn't believe me. she was such a perfect little b***h. she treated me like one of our 11-yr old campers until like the last three days. god, i hated her.  

[Lunar Falcon]

"Thanks to me (or whoever bought and made the food) for this wonderrful meal, may it be digested swiftly."  

[The MoUsY spell-checker]

I would thank the person who paid for and/or bought the food.

(In my household (my immediate family are all atheists), we usually do this when having a special meal. That is, if we're having a toast we'd include that. For normal everyday meals we don't bother.)

Boxed_Jam

"Grace...let's eat."

I have a friend who said that he said that when eating at his friend's house. xd

Zambimaru

"I thank myself for working hard for the money that payed for this food. Lets eat goddammit"

Come to think of it at one family gathering, my dad (who is an atheist) decided to say "thanks be to god" before a meal just to be funny, and one of my grandaunts (who is Catholic) got the joke and said "how would you have anything to eat if you didn't work for it?", and another grandaunt (who's quite aggressively Christian) actually took my dad seriously. xd  

[Sini X]

Here in Finland people don't usually say grace when they have dinner with family, though it is a common routine in daycarecenters *throws up* I remember when i was a kid and we had to say these short rhymining prayers before every meal. We just repeated them but I guess none of us really understood the meaning of it, it was just something we HAD to do before we got food. That's what you get as a side dish with state church.♥  

[Kitsune Tokala]

Dear lord, thank you for blessing me with an adequate level of mitochondria to make use of this wonderful bounty. But why no chloroplasts so we could bipass this whole ugly mess of consuming living (or once living) tissue to survive? Seriously...why no chloroplasts? neutral

Amen  

[Daffodil the Destroyer]

Sini X

Here in Finland people don't usually say grace when they have dinner with family, though it is a common routine in daycarecenters *throws up* I remember when i was a kid and we had to say these short rhymining prayers before every meal. We just repeated them but I guess none of us really understood the meaning of it, it was just something we HAD to do before we got food. That's what you get as a side dish with state church.♥

When I was in kindergarten, they still hadn't removed organized prayer from public schools and I remember having to stand in line before going to lunch and recite "God is great, God is good, let us thank him for our food" etc. This makes me feel old. XD

 

[Born Of Ash And Despair]

"Yea...no." *Begins eating*

 

[Elanchana]

But how quickly we forget
Such a sure and perfect plan,
And unlearn the passions that once had burned.

I've heard two humorous versions:
"Holy bread, holy meat, good lord LET'S EAT."
"Father, son, holy ghost, who eats the fastest gets the most!"

Although I'd probably say something like "*sigh...* thanks for the food." and start eating right away.

But how could I have seen?
What was I to do?
How could I know I would find you?
-Erik, The Phantom of the Opera, Tom Alonso

 

[Deaths asistant]

"Thanks for the food, of which I bought from the fast food place down the road because I am to lazy to cook, and thanks for the food poisining from which the food gave me, and when I die I will laugh... amen"

Or...

I would bow my head and rais it again and grab the biggest part og the chicken or what ever there is... then every one would be like wtf  

[Pilfer von Durem]

Daffodil the Destroyer

"Rub a dub dub. Thanks for the grub. Amen."

Seconded.  

[o Key o]

"Good food, good meat, [your] god's great, let's eat."
Someone told that to me when I was about... six. Easiest [and least sincere] short prayer ever.  

[Teoka]

I don't say it, which provides for a bit of awkwardness with my boyfriend's family. I keep to myself, wait until they're done, and then eat. *shrugs*  

[[-Erik-]]

If it tastes good it is surely bad for you, having this in mind, let's eat.

 

[Insane Innocence]

"I'll pass on that. The food too, is this supposed to be edible?"