How to annoy an atheist.

[Zambimaru]

It annoys the hell out of me when missionary's come to my house and try to preach to me stressed  

[Celestial Fireflies]

Zambimaru

It annoys the hell out of me when missionary's come to my house and try to preach to me stressed

Two missionaries came around here and stood way back as they shouted to us our invite to their church. They said something like, "We're Christian, so you know there's nothing strange goin' on!" I was just polite and said no, but still, I wondered what the hell that was about. :/  

[Le Pere Duchesne]

1. Call them unpatriotic, and/or say that we're "one nation under God" or point out that our money says "in God we trust" (for our American atheists).
How can I be patriotic to a country so steeped in religion? That is... it makes no sense to me.

2. Say that they know God exists, they're just denying it so they can do whatever they want.
"You know what I think, do you? ********, if becoming a christian gives you psychic powers... I want in!"

3. Accuse them of having no morals.
Most of their morals I find abhorent, most of my morals that find disgusting. According to their conception, I am immoral, and I am fine with that.

4. Accuse them of worshiping Satan.
"How does denying the existence of supernatural entities=worshiping them? If I worship Satan by denying God, does that mean I worship God by denying Satan?

5. Saying "I'll pray for you" in respect to "seeing God" or "accepting Jesus".
I am fine with that. I kindly tell them to not waste their time, but in the end, such an act is harmless.

6. Tell them that Jesus is there, they're just not listening hard enough. "Maybe so, but I also don't care. I am beyond that. Right now, I want to deal with IRL problems, not imaginary friends/manufactured psychoses.

7. Say, "You can't see air, do you not believe in that?"
"Actually, the air is pretty thick... What do you think that brown haze over the city is?"

8. Say that God is real because the bible says so, then say that the bible is true because God says so.
How cute.

9. Call a theory like evolution a fairy tale, even though you say that the bible must be taken literally.
Never had this one happen to me.

10. Say that there are no atheists in foxholes, and on their deathbed they will "see Jesus" and know that they are wrong.
*Points at Voltaire and the Soviet and PRC armies.*

11. Say that atheists must be "lonely", "have no hope", and have "no meaning" in life because they don't believe in either eternal punishment or eternal reward.
I don't need imaginary friends to keep me company, and I find meaning in everyday struggle for my politics. Yeah, ******** your here-after bullshit. I want to make heaven-on-earth, in the here-and-now!  

[Colm-kun]

Ahh, this is why we have the wonderful invention of "the door" if a Jehovah or someone else telling you about Religion and how you should join them, you can simply shut the door and it's the same as saying "******** You". Ahh doors. It's the real reason they were made.  

[D i v i n i t y]

Pixel Mine

2. Say that they know God exists, they're just denying it so they can do whatever they want.
3. Accuse them of having no morals.
5. Saying "I'll pray for you" in respect to "seeing God" or "accepting Jesus".
6. Tell them that Jesus is there, they're just not listening hard enough.
7. Say, "You can't see air, do you not believe in that?"
11. Say that atheists must be "lonely", "have no hope", and have "no meaning" in life because they don't believe in either eternal punishment or eternal reward.

All those have been basically said or done to me already by my best friend who is very religious and is the President of the Christian Club at our school. However, my friend did not exactly accuse me of "having no morals", but he said that I have nothing to base my morals on; so I use religion to get my morals. Yet I believe that homosexuality is alright and he accused me of not having anything to base my morals on. So basically he accused me of basing my morality off the Bible, yet rejecting some of their morals? Hmmm, so howcome I'm just cherry picking? Is it because I simply have my own sense of morality that just happens to coincide with some of the Christian moral values? I don't think my friend will ever understand though.  

[Celestial Fireflies]

Colm-kun

Ahh, this is why we have the wonderful invention of "the door" if a Jehovah or someone else telling you about Religion and how you should join them, you can simply shut the door and it's the same as saying "******** You". Ahh doors. It's the real reason they were made.

I feel bad slamming doors in people's faces. sad I have come close, though.

I thought of a new one that has been bothering me recently: accuse them of being angry at/hating your god (as in, the actual being, not the idea of the being or the people who believe in it). Because it's totally logical to be angry at/hate something you honestly don't believe exists. I mean, I always get mad at Santa because he never brings me presents, and boy do I hate leprechauns when I don't find gold at the end of the rainbow. Don't you?

Edit: Okay, okay. I took some time to stop and reflect on this away from the frustration I felt with being stereotyped. I thought about how difficult it is to relate to our lack of belief for someone who believes the presence of a higher power is as obvious as the sky being blue. It does not make harassment or willful ignorance okay, but I think I can understand a little more about why people have these misconceptions.  

[Mrithyu]

Haha well I was talking to my friend and I told her that I was an atheist and she said, "cool, I'd rather believe in something but whatever works for you."
so I said, "I do believe in something. I believe in Reason."