My poetry journal

[redwolfshadow]

I only moved on because i thought you didn't care
I only moved on because couldnt take anymore of the tears and passing out
The anxiety attacks, the pain that hit me every time i thought of you

I only moved on because my aura was stained a mournful black,
I only moved on because I couldnt live like that anymore,
my own soul turned and eating away at my heart.

The pain burned through my veins,
The whiskey sang,
I cried again

My heart is decaying and my mind is deteriorating
The atrophy is all thats left of you

I fall into wine laced sleep,
but dreams still haunt me with your face,
I cant stop seeing those eyes.

I dont want to stop.
Youre everything thats bad for me,
dont say youre sorry, its not your fault.

I love you, my darling,
I only moved on because i thought you didnt care
I only moved on because you did.  

[redwolfshadow]

You called and I answered, a little too eagerly
You're talking to me!
I dont care if my heart ends up slashed to strips,
its already a mess of scars.

I'll take whatever love i can get,
form you.
I'd given up, but I still loved you.
Now can we be friends?

Can we ever be more?
you dont have to answer,
Not now anyway,
Because i dont think i can handle what youre about to say.

If you cant stand the answer,
dont ask the question.
Let me just say i love you instead
No need to respond

Please let me be stupid,
Let me take your silence for agreement.
Let me dream an hope,
Thank you.

Please, oh please, tell me what i want to hear,
I need this.
I wont hold you to anything you say tonight.
Tell me the truth tomorrow and leave me to my tears.  

[redwolfshadow]

People are like raindrops...
We all fall and end up splattered all over the asphalt  

[redwolfshadow]

You say you hurt inside
You say you want to hurt yourself
You wont say why
I know the feeling

Its what i felt everytime i saw you kiss him in the hall
When you giggled when you said his name
When you ran to him and stood on your toes to hug him
When I thought about how that could've been me.

I'd put on a pretty face for the moment,
And let my calm shatter,
I'd want to rip my veins to shreds,
And revel in the blood

Knowing thats how you feel too just makes it worse.
If it had been me,
If I was you lover,
I never would have hurt you like him.

Won't you tell me whats wrong?
Why can't we at least hurt together?  

[redwolfshadow]

Yes, Im crying
Dont ask me why
You wont understand
Just go away if you cant stay quiet

All i ask for is silence,
Dont ask because I wont tell
go wherever you go when youre "Going out"
And let me be alone with these tears

I dont want to hear that you're worried
I dont want to know that you care
Yes, Ill let you know if you can help at all,
You can't.

Happy now?
Theres nothing left for you to say.
please, just GO!
No, i wont do anything "crazy" while you're gone

You walk out of my room,
And close the door softly,
And I feel so alone,
And I'm so glad for it.  

[redwolfshadow]

I didnt write this its from a book... i love it though
-----------------------

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it.

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

-- Taken from The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky