anybody understand?

[axl the azn boi]

skippingsquirrel

axl the azn boi

you experienced the msot comment thing a teenager goes through
i mean your actually just another cliche right now
if u hit rock bottom then the only direction you could go is up
life is filled with comedies and tragedies that make it balanced
so good things will happen and so will bad things

...i realize this...life has its ups and downs...my life has a pretty good balance, and i try to be happy and live life to the fullest, yet every time i try, something keeps me back, and makes me feel like total crap.....

well then dont let that one thing win
its a fight between you and what ever
do you like feeling like crap?then let it stomp on you and pull out your intestines allow that pain flow within your vains
but if you wihs to stop feeling that way,fight it dont stop intl its over
it maybe easier then said but not impoosubleeeee  

[skippingsquirrel]

i understand.....  

[XSK Ophelia]

Wow! That's exactly how I felt a few years ago until I started traveling and working in different places. You probably just need a new experience and outlook on life.

I would say move out but I don't know if your old enough.  

[skippingsquirrel]

ur prolly right, but i'm 14, so i can't move out  

[Cereza Witch]

Have you ever though that you are doing what your doing out of habit? I mean, what I've been reading you say that you are doing all you can to not be apathetic; but have you really? Think it fully and don't jump to conclusions... is it safer doing the same things over again then try something different? have you tried talking to your family about how you feel?  

[cuttlebone]

You remind me of me when I was in middle school. It was a crazy ride of being depressed, convincing myself I was happy, then feeling empty.

I can tell you that it got better after a while, and since you said this just came on kind of randomly-ish like it did with me you probably just need time. I can give you the suicide-is-not-the-answer speech but you've probably heard it plenty of times before. But it's so true. Wouldn't it be horrible to die as a teen before you can even live on your own or see the world? You have so much ahead of you and only you can throw that away, so don't ok? :]  

[Enxydys]

I get what your saying to a point. And I feel for ya. Suicide, while an interestingly appealing option, hurts like Frack. Even with a knife you still hurt for a while. And guns aren't even fun, the burns hurt worse than stabbing yourself. I'd say find your own way out of the depression pit, like most of us have done. But that would be rude and uncouth. So, take a long, long walk and find something to focus on. Spend all that pent up energy doing something that your really like and excelling at it instead of living in your head. Apathy is cold and empty and all the schrot that people say it is, but it's a self inflicted state of being. Do something with yourself. I joined the army after my fourth attempt and am now working as a cop in Germany of all places. There's gotta be something other than schoolkids and their self righteous idealism for you to focus on.  

[KitsukoTenbei]

I know what you are going through. Believe me, it's a passing thing. It's going to be a though couple of years before you can kick what's going on, but once it's over, you'll come out of it a much stronger person. What I think it might be is teen angst or it could just be that life is being extra bitchy to you. It happens sometimes. I wish I had words of consolation for you but I really don't. Just keep fighting and know that eventually, it'll get better. It sucks a lot right now, but if you keep fighting it''l get better.

And as for those kids at school that make fun of you for the way you dress, just remember that they're all just a bunch of spineless fools who don't have the backbone or the courage to come up with their own form of style. They're just a bunch of insignificant worms who don't want to stray from what's popular. They fear being different. If anything, take pride in the fact that you stand apart from such fools. 3nodding  

[Kathryn Anon]

ky_the_wolf_demon

sorry princess but stop the mellow dramatics and look at real pain for a moment

their are millions of people across the world starving, being abused, diying, being tortured, legally insane and locked up and so so much more.

now until you have ACTUAL suffering rather then the every day emo-teens "nobody understands me! crying " crap SHUT UP!when you do come back I have plenty of empathy for those with actual pain

Pain shows it's self in many different ways. Yes Social issues may not be as impending as starvation, illness, torture, etc. BUT IT IS STILL THERE. Frankly, it is actual suffering, just in a different form. If issues with every day people are 'no big deal' as you seem to believe, why do hundreds of people all over all of the Americas commit suiside every day? The only difference is it takes less to solve the problems of the people right next to you; a smile, some sympathetic words...

I'm sorry to say but you are the immature one here; you claim that it's all melo dramatics, that it's not actual pain, that she's acting immature and not looking at the greater picture, but maybe YOU are the one not looking at the greater picture here. You're so focused on looking outside the box that you're not looking inside it either.

I am a very happy person but it took a year of therapy and me finally realizing that those people who pick on me really don't matter, and won't matter after I grow up. I've managed to look past what they did and do to me, but there are people who can't. Is there something wrong with those people looking for some help or advice in that situation?  

[darknova1111]

i understand. the same happened to me... exept i have 1 sister and it happened at grade 6. but in the end, we all just stop caring about what others think and what i think. i knew i was wrong. there is nothing wrong with me, i am just different than any one else.  

[NarProfiler]

First off, everyone is unique. It's what makes us stand out and really be apart from everyone. It's both what's good and what's bad about us. There are a lot of people who get depressed. There are a lot of pressures that build on people as they continue to grow up.

When we're little, we pretty much have free reign. People love to be around babies and little kids because they're 'cute' and generally smile at 'the little things in life.' This is all because they're exploring the world around them.

Eventually, we get old enough to ask questions, and that curiosity that we could only experience directly through our senses, we learn secondhand. We don't actually have to travel all the way to Egypt to learn about the Sphinx, we can ask our parents, or read a book. However, between our peers who look down at 'stupid questions' and alienation for not being part of the 'in crowd,' to downright ridicule for just being different, we learn to stop asking questions. We no longer think for ourselves as much and no longer have that free reign.

As we go on in school, we're told what to do, what to think, how to behave. This is right and that is wrong. We're taught to obey and that most things are brought into the realm of true and false. It's not really talked about, but we're still that little kid who's been told by adults and society (our peers, 'friends,' and authority) who has those unanswered questions, or we've forgotten how to ask them.

In my opinion, apathy is a place where you feel that no matter what you do, no matter what it is, somebody somewhere will come out and put you down, or ignore you. So why bother? If they're going to ignore or put me down anyway, why care in the first place? This is a lie we tell ourselves that makes our mind think it's okay to be silent and just take it. Grin and bear it.

Some people say that the best things in life come with the highest cost. This isn't completely true or false. It depends on how deeply you believe that you can or cannot change things. Usually, when we get old enough to move out of the house (or live in the dorm(s) in college), you get a taste of freedom. No longer do you have to get up, stop what you're doing, to go do a load of laundry, pick up the remote for that lazy person who's in the same room as the TV, not even paying attention while reading a paper or looking at their laptop, or take out the garbage... that is if you don't want to. Eventually you'll have to do it sooner or later, or things will get out of control, and there are consequences for leaving things to themselves for too long, but ultimately, you get to choose when to do things and even what things to do.

Until you're able to taste freedom, you're stuck living under someone else's rules, time, and authority. I recommend finding something that you enjoy doing. Think of anything you do in a day that you enjoy, and discover for yourself why you enjoy it, what specifically do you like about it, and can you do something more with it? If you can't think of anything, think about what you'd like to do that is productive, and do the same thing with it. Set some goals for yourself, find out what works and what doesn't. Make mistakes and learn from them. Enjoy yourself, because you are the only you there is. Nobody else can tell you what you're thinking (or how you got to thinking that way) exactly, and nobody else can do this for you.  

[o0Starheart0o]

My friend went through something like this emo I was really scared for her the first time she told me she tried to stab herself... Then I heard from other friend about how she was cutting herself and trying to stab herself with a knife in the stomach... I felt so helpless! I was really optimistic about life at the time, so I couldn't understand at all why she felt this way. Eventually I got up the courage to tell someone about it...
I don't know how's she's doing now since we go to different high schools... but I hope she's okay and doesn't view life as something she can escape by suicide cuz its so painful but really something she can learn from and enjoy...  

[Kayite]

Ok, i don't wanna sound like an a*****e. So i'm gonna say this as nicely as i can. I had a very similar problem with my life... it seemed like all the magic in life went away, and i talked to a bunch of my friends and they said that happened to them too. I did a lot of meditation, and if sitting in a quite place thinking about why you are the way you are isn't really your thing, go to the libary and read books. I did a lot of reading on books at the libary about depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Complexs, Anxeity, Bi-polar disorder. It sounds dumb but reading about others peoples problems and how they were solved gave me a lot of ideas and stragetys of figuring out my problems. They can be, and most likely in your case, are more compelx than we even know. but i hope i helped in someway. And i also like to talk about stuff so msg me anytime. if you need to chat.