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 Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:56 pm
There are ten commandments you must follow to obtain considerable sex appeal. Quote: #1 - Thou shalt not ******** other culties. If you ******** someone here, five other people you didn't ******** or already ******** and got sick of are going to get pissy and start drama, and drama isn't sexy. #2 - Thou shalt follow Cookie's lead. Cookie is the only person who has maintained his sex appeal throughout the Cult's ups and downs. Why? Because he follows rule #1 and also never starts drama. #3 - Thou shalt crop your pictures. Because you want people to come visit you and find out about the other half. Right, Orphie? wink Or maybe you don't want people to find out about the other half. Right, LPS? wink <******** - Thou shalt not don the ears of a furfag. Apparently they automatically make you annoying because everybody hates cats. Most of them HAVE cats, but suddenly they all hate them just because you're one. #5 - Thou shalt not bastardize the meme. Do it right or don't do it at all. Sexy people don't screw up. #6 - Thou shalt not post on someone else's account. It's confusing as hell and nobody really cares that you have their info. #7 - Thou shalt have a decent avatar If you're trying to be sexy on the Internet, chances are you don't have a decent face, so let your avi do the talking. Dress as a woman if necessary. #8 - Thou shalt not produce rule 34 of Nintendo characters Punishment in this cult is death by stoning. That will definitely make you unsexy. #9 - Thou shalt not listen to Nickelback Who would? #10 - Thou shalt shower.
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:39 pm
This truncated history ignores not only me, but a moderator, entirely.
I mean, come one, I know we've all heard the Legend of Xilo, but you know what they say, Legends find their roots in reality...
I may be like... the second or third oldest Culty, non-moderator, regular... and I'm counting like... people who are barely here, like LF.
I SEENS IT ALL, AND LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHIN' KIDDO! YOUR HISTORY AIN'T s**t. YA GOT EVERYTHING WRONG!
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:43 pm
[Kegan] This truncated history ignores not only me, but a moderator, entirely. I mean, come one, I know we've all heard the Legend of Xilo, but you know what they say, Legends find their roots in reality... I may be like... the second or third oldest Culty, non-moderator, regular... and I'm counting like... people who are barely here, like LF. I SEENS IT ALL, AND LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHIN' KIDDO! YOUR HISTORY AIN'T s**t. YA GOT EVERYTHING WRONG! Oh hush you. > 3> not everyone can be included. Sometimes people don't have a great memory when put on the spot.
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:45 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:46 pm
You betta be includin me in dat dere count, BOY.
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:52 pm
You weren't here for 2+ years.
That's hardly regular.
But I can't even think of a second cultie before me, so whatever.
I'm not all that sure you were here before I was regular, anyway. I've been here since Spring 06.
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:57 pm
That was pretty awesome(Like me(And Denko)) T.
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 11:00 pm
More, y'say?
Well, I do remember something in the annals... It was about a great undertaking to retrieve something that had been wrongfully taken from Fish's possession.
*flips to page* Ah! Yea verily, it was
The Day Fish Got His Brownies Back.Quote: It was an ordinary day, like any other. The members of the Cult were happy, healthy, and full of gas. I was sitting out on the steps to the entrance, polishing the flat silver faces on my trusty hammer.
In the Rumpus Room, our founder Fish walked over to the fridge. His circular round eyes glowed from behind his peculiar mask with eagerness as he reached around among the provisions looking for something to eat. Eyeing something along the way, he mumbled, "Who put Purple Kool-Aid in here? Must've been J."
It was then he found what he was looking for. 'Twas a black plastic box labled, "Do not touch this. For the love of God, do NOT touch this box or the contents inside it, or else I will... and I WILL. ********. YOUR. s**t. UP."
Anyway, he set it on the table and slowly opened the lid. Once it was completely off...
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF--"
It was then I heard the sound what seemed like steam hissing. "Uh oh. I hope a pipe didn't ******** expletive echoed through the hallways, as others peeked out from behind doors and such. I ran into the hall, wondering, "...The hell was that?"
"Hey. T. Was that you?"
Orphie's head peeked out from behind a nearby door. Wayne's head subsequently followed.
"Uh, no, I replied. I don't swear. At least not out loud..."
"Oh. Alright then."
Before both of them went back inside, I felt compelled to ask, "Uh, what are you two up to, anyway?"
Wayne replied, "Oh, something..."
They both laughed in a way that both confused and scared me. 
As they went back in, I heard Fish's voice over the CCBS, the Cult Cast Broadcasting System.
"All present members, to the Meeting Room, NOW."
"Sounds serious." I thought. I then knocked on the door Orphie and Wayne were in. "Hey you two, we're being summoned!"
Hearing only more laughter, I decided to screw it, and just open the door. Opening the door seemed to be a greivous error on my part, as it only prompted this response from me.
"What in the five planes of corporeal existence are you two doing?!?"
After some brain bleach and mental floss, I rounded up any others available.
As we stood in the meeting room, Fish paced menacingly back and forth. Judging by what we heard a few minutes ago, it seemed he was mad.
"Alright, who did it?" he asked.
"Uh, did what?" I wondered.
"Who touched it?"
Orphie rose her hand ."I touched it," she said as she and Wayne both snickered.
With a facepalm, Fish said, "Not that it. GOD."
"So what're you talking about?" I asked.
"One of you stole my brownies. Who did it?"
Suddenly there was multiple chattering.
"Wait, Brownies?"
"Who had Brownies?"
"Brownies were here and I wasn't informed? WAT."
"SHADDUP!"
As soon as Fish yelled, the room was silent.
"Look, one of you ******** stole my brownies, and if nobody speaks up, I will HAVE YOUR BALLS, so help me."
Before any of the female member could protest, saying that they had no balls for him to have, J, piped up and asked, "Did you see who did it?"
Huntr, hitching his rifle to his back added, "He's got a point. While it could have been any of us, I have been catching sight of shady characters running about."
The seasoned marksman handed Fish some papers. They were photos, taken outside of the N Cult building, depicting several people in black.
"So you think only one of these guys in black did it?" Fish asked Huntr.
Partially hearing the sentence, J hollered, "Did you just say that only a black guy did it? RACIST! RACIST! RA-"
Thinking quickly, I took out a bottle of pills and chucked it out the doorway.
"PILLS!"
Like greased lightning, he zoomed out of the room.
"What now about these suspicious guys?" I asked. "I kinda spaced out."
"They may have taken Fish's brownies, T." Huntr told me. "If we're lucky, they probably didn't eat them yet."
"They'd better not," Fish growled. "Those brownies were made special. They were forged of the finest chocolate, extracted from cacao beans found deep in the South American rainforest! Butter made from the finest milk taken from the teat of the most worthy of cows! Accented by salt mined from the deepest caves this side of the Grand Canyon! Coupled with some other necessary ingredients, let's just say it's the good s**t."
The crowd before us all was needless to say, surprised.
"Damn. Dude knows his brownies."
"So be it. If they were taken then, some of you are just gonna have to find them!"
"...Find them?" I wondered.
"Did I stutter? Here, take the keys to the Skycock."
Fish tossed the keys to Huntr. To a handful of us, getting to ride the Skycock was an honor, as it was a finely crafted vessel.
"Go and get the brownies back. And make it quick too! I wouldn;t want to have to use my pimp hand, now would I?"
Everyone else seemed to take a collective step backward at the mention of this. I however snickered, because the words sounded funny. "Tee-hee. Pimp hand xd "
"What was that?" he said, looking square at me. Before I knew it, I received a backhand across the left side of my face.
The crowd gasped. tilted my head back towards him and chuckled. "What was that, a tickle?"
He backhanded me again, this time on the right. "Nope, still not feeling it..." I said, slightly disoriented.
Then another WHACK filled the room. That one did the trick!
"I'm 37?!" I yelled in a daze before I fell over.
As the crowd looked on at Fish, he said, "What? I have to keep my pimp hand strong."
Huntr then spoke, while helping me to my feet. "We'll get right on finding the brownie thieves."
As I regained sanity, I still felt the urge to laugh somewhat.
" xd Pimp Hand."
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 11:08 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 11:14 pm
[Kegan] You weren't here for 2+ years. That's hardly regular. But I can't even think of a second cultie before me, so whatever. I'm not all that sure you were here before I was regular, anyway. I've been here since Spring 06. Bah, technicalities! I left gaia pretty much immediately after I rage quit here. I still lurked after that before revealing my alt as me. Regular? No. But still around in the shadows.
And thinking about it, I joined around the same time I think. Met Fish around march that year, in one of my subscribed threads, and I remember joining soon after on his suggestion.
edit: by same time I mean spring 2006
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 11:14 pm
IT WAS ME WASN'T IT
Someone needs to learn flash and animate this s**t.
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 11:17 pm
Shane-Cheshner IT WAS ME WASN'T IT Someone needs to learn flash and animate this s**t. Trust me, I'm trying to learn. < <
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 11:30 pm
Dear GOD, I am so pissed I wasnt originally around for this xd
Thats some awesome stuff right there, T.
PILLS THERE!
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Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 12:27 am
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Eloquent Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 1:01 am
I'm pretty sure this isn't how it went, at all.
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![[Kegan]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/32/d0/3e9c16b12dd032_flip.png?t=1509381123_6.00_11)
