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 Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 7:00 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 7:25 pm
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Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 10:42 am
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 4:34 pm
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:40 am
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Posted: Tue May 11, 2010 3:34 pm
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Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 6:01 am
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Thank you sweetie! I now have the perfect excuse not to go to your great aunt Doreen's annual tea party and listen to boring small talk!
cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine
Mom, I left the freezer door open, and now the room is covered with icicles. It was like the North Pole but without Santa!!! I didn't want you to see my mistake, so I was going to make all the ice melt, but I remembered that you are supposed to stand back from the radiator when you've been out in the snow and your hand are cold because it's dangerous to get to close to it, so I thought 'this room is much bigger than my hands, so it's going to need to be much further from the heat, and the heat's going to have to be much bigger too'.
So, I turned the heat up at the other side of the house and made a big fire in the fireplace and lit loads of candles and stuff, and the ice did melt, but now we have loads of water damage, and I forgot to open the windows and it got all black and smoky inside, and I wanted to open all the windows and doors to let it outside, but then I remembered that the smoke would be bad for the environment, and also you were going to be home really soon, so I thought 'I'm going to need to get rid of the smoke quickly and without letting it outside'.
So I turned on the air conditioning on and collected all the fans from around the house and plugged them in and tried to get the smoke to clear, but it wouldn't and by this point I was choking lots, and I tried to run out of the room but I couldn't see and I bumped into your cabinet with all your fine china and it broke and smashed all over the place, and I wanted to fix it with my pritt stick, but I remembered that it wasn't going to be strong enough and that I'm not supposed to use the super glue, so I thought 'I'm going to need to use something which can hold heavy things together and that I haven't been told not to use'.
So I turned on the nail gun and tried to putt it back together, but it just made it break up even more, and I don't have very good aim so I ended up nailing myself to the floor by my clothes, and I was going to take them off so that I could turn off the central heating and air conditioning and all the fans that I had left on and which were building up a huge electricity bill, but I remembered that you don't want me to walk around the house without clothes anymore in case we get guests, and I couldn't think of anything else to do so I just say here stuck to the floor until you got back and found me.
And that is the reason why I haven't done my homework yet and need you to write a note to the teacher explaining why I haven't got it with me. |
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 4:04 pm
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Well this gives me an excuse to buy a new house! And of course, I'll write you a note, sweetie.
dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama
Mom, when I got home from school today, I saw that you weren't home, but the door was open. So I walked in and saw a man and a bunch of red stuff on the walls. There was a pile of gross stuff that looked like guts on the floor. I thought that he was a murderer and called the cops.
When they got here, they arrested theman, and took us both to jail for questioning. They interrogated us both, and told me the real story: He was your secret boyfriend attempting to cook spaghetti.
I went home, and tried to clean some stuff up with him, and learned that he's a really nice guy. So when he was putting the knives up, I slipped, and hit my head on a chair edge.
That's why I'm laying on the floor, covered in what seems to be blood, with your boyfriend standing over me with knives in his hands.
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 4:12 pm
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 4:16 pm
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 4:20 pm
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Posted: Sun May 16, 2010 8:34 pm
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Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 6:25 am
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Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 3:00 pm
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 7:49 am
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