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 Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 7:00 pm
Yay!!! Pink is my favorite color!!!
dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama
Mom, you know that hobo that lives behind Walmart? He got me pregnat.
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Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 7:25 pm
Its Okay, now I have a grandchild!
exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim
Mom, I stabbed your best friend.
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Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 10:42 am
I'm so glad that you can remember who my friends are at last!
burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes
Mom, I dropped your baby down the toilet...and flushed...
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 4:34 pm
One less mouth to feed!
dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama
Mom, I think you're a slut.
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Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:40 am
I guess I won't have to explain to you why I'm pregnant again then!
3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding
Mom...I kinda bought the wrong type of filament for the light bulbs and...well....um...they were weapon's grade plutonium and...they sort of blew the world up when I tried to turn them on. And that's why we are out here in a spaceship in the middle of nowhere going to a planet with such low gravity that if we go to the loo...all the stuff is going to come back out and squidge all over us. Sorry...? sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue May 11, 2010 3:34 pm
No gravity?...I CAN FLY!!!
dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama
Mom, I just predicted the apocolypse of the universe. It's going to hapen right about n- ::cut off by universal spocolypse::
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Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 6:01 am
Thank you sweetie! I now have the perfect excuse not to go to your great aunt Doreen's annual tea party and listen to boring small talk!
cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine
Mom, I left the freezer door open, and now the room is covered with icicles. It was like the North Pole but without Santa!!! I didn't want you to see my mistake, so I was going to make all the ice melt, but I remembered that you are supposed to stand back from the radiator when you've been out in the snow and your hand are cold because it's dangerous to get to close to it, so I thought 'this room is much bigger than my hands, so it's going to need to be much further from the heat, and the heat's going to have to be much bigger too'.
So, I turned the heat up at the other side of the house and made a big fire in the fireplace and lit loads of candles and stuff, and the ice did melt, but now we have loads of water damage, and I forgot to open the windows and it got all black and smoky inside, and I wanted to open all the windows and doors to let it outside, but then I remembered that the smoke would be bad for the environment, and also you were going to be home really soon, so I thought 'I'm going to need to get rid of the smoke quickly and without letting it outside'.
So I turned on the air conditioning on and collected all the fans from around the house and plugged them in and tried to get the smoke to clear, but it wouldn't and by this point I was choking lots, and I tried to run out of the room but I couldn't see and I bumped into your cabinet with all your fine china and it broke and smashed all over the place, and I wanted to fix it with my pritt stick, but I remembered that it wasn't going to be strong enough and that I'm not supposed to use the super glue, so I thought 'I'm going to need to use something which can hold heavy things together and that I haven't been told not to use'.
So I turned on the nail gun and tried to putt it back together, but it just made it break up even more, and I don't have very good aim so I ended up nailing myself to the floor by my clothes, and I was going to take them off so that I could turn off the central heating and air conditioning and all the fans that I had left on and which were building up a huge electricity bill, but I remembered that you don't want me to walk around the house without clothes anymore in case we get guests, and I couldn't think of anything else to do so I just say here stuck to the floor until you got back and found me.
And that is the reason why I haven't done my homework yet and need you to write a note to the teacher explaining why I haven't got it with me.
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 4:04 pm
Well this gives me an excuse to buy a new house! And of course, I'll write you a note, sweetie.
dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama
Mom, when I got home from school today, I saw that you weren't home, but the door was open. So I walked in and saw a man and a bunch of red stuff on the walls. There was a pile of gross stuff that looked like guts on the floor. I thought that he was a murderer and called the cops.
When they got here, they arrested theman, and took us both to jail for questioning. They interrogated us both, and told me the real story: He was your secret boyfriend attempting to cook spaghetti.
I went home, and tried to clean some stuff up with him, and learned that he's a really nice guy. So when he was putting the knives up, I slipped, and hit my head on a chair edge.
That's why I'm laying on the floor, covered in what seems to be blood, with your boyfriend standing over me with knives in his hands.
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 4:12 pm
Thats OK I was looking for a reason to get rid of him anyway.
cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool
Mom I just ate a Bald Eagle and am now a citizen of Spain.
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 4:16 pm
Perfect! I love spain!!!
xd xd xd xd xd xd xd
Mom, im dead and am telling you this from heaven.
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 4:20 pm
Well its about time.
cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool
Mom I am JEWISH!
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Posted: Sun May 16, 2010 8:34 pm
Yay! I love those little hat-thingies they wear!!! ((hoping not to offend any jews, I'm sorry if we did. X( ))
dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama
Mom, I just took up a job as a necromancer, and am planning to raise an army of zombies to take over the world. And the first one I'm raising is your ex.
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Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 6:25 am
That's ok honey-bun. So long as I get to kill him again without the jail sentence this time!!
idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea idea
eek Mom, you know the way you ate that bowl full of 'curry and rice' I left sitting out? The one labelled 'Diner-eat me'. Some of that rice...well, all of it actually...well, it wasn't rice. None of it was rice. And it wasn't curry either.
It was my little experiment. You know, for the science fair. Of what happens when you....sorta...mix...um....ahem....
Maggots and baby poop… *gulp*
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Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 3:00 pm
Well...Its okay. It tasted good! mrgreen ((I like died when I wrote this!))
ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja
Mom; You know when went to my Great Grandma's funeral; and there was a huge explosion? Well, while some people threw flowers...I sort of...Threw a grenade...
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Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 7:49 am
Well at least you made sure she went out with a bang.
cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine cheese_whine
Mom, I broke the vase on a guy's forehead, we got into a fight and I maimed him, he died from loss of blood. I was thrown into prison, where I got this tattoo, rioted with the convicts, broke out and killed the police that were chasing us, stole their uniforms and raided the police station, murdering each and every officer. Then I went back to our house and I left the toilet seat open.
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