Welcome to Gaia! ::

In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.

A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"

Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?"

This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours."

The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing."

"OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.

Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing."

"There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde.

After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"

_ This one is a good one. I wouldnt have thought oif doing this.-

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer," your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you," puts her head on the pillow and goes back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

come visit my clan we make fun of everyone equally and we make fun of ourselves the most!

These jokes just partake on a stereotype really, like Newfie, redneck, or french jokes. And now, here's one of each!

An Englishman, Frenchman and Newfie are all sentenced to execution, they are allowed their method of death though. The Eglishman says, "I wish to die with honour, execute me via firing squad."

Then it's the Frenchmans turn. "I don't want to leave a mess, just knock me unconcious and drown me."

Finally it's the Newfies turn. "I would like to be injected with HIV actually." So the executioner gets a needle and starts to inject him, but he starts giggling. The executioner can't figure out what's so funny. When he finishes injecting him, the Newfie is roaring with laughter and the executioner asked himwhat was so funny. The Newfie says "I'm wearin' a condom ya idiot!"

-

What was the rednecks last words? "Hey Ma! Look what I can do!"

-

Frenchies suck... what? (I actually could not think of a joke.)

A brunette
is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.

The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."

The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."

The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."

The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."

The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."

The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."

a redhead, a brunette and a blonde are stuck on a deserted island. no food, and no freshwater. the nearest civilized land is 20 miles away.

the redhead jumps in the ocean, swims 10 miles, gets tired, and drowns.

the brunette jumps in the ocean, swims 15 miles, gets tired, and drowns.

the blonde jumps in the ocean, swims 19 miles, gets tired and swims all the way back to the deserted island

XD being a blonde myself, i feel i could do this... im pretty out of it a lot... but i get straight A's lol