Pre-Marital sex?

[aguave.]

Pre-marital sex is fine in my books because I don't believe marriage is right for myself ever. Of course time shall tell.
I'm speaking from a virgins perspective.
I currently have no intrest in sex but when I do it'll be with someone I care for who also cares for me.
I do not value virginity.  

[Darth Moe]

It's personally none of my business... but I believe that you should only share yourself with the person you love. Marriage does not define love. I would probably have a problem if my boyfriend did have sex with anyone else...but that's not a problem 3nodding  

[Dathu]

Woah, I totally missed this thread. Uhh, well, I didn't wait, but then I think for a boy it's more a an issue of "can I have sex before marriage" rather than "should I have sex before marriage." Ya know? wink  

[Sanguvixen]

Hmmmm....

Personally I have no problem with it. If you want to have sex before you get married than good for you.

For some reason I have this strong belief that unless you are planning on having children, then you shouldn't engage in sex. I am against sex for "pleasure". It has more to do with the set of problems that come with using it for pleasure....but maybe I'm just strange that way.

 

[Dathu]

Sanguvixen

Hmmmm....

Personally I have no problem with it. If you want to have sex before you get married than good for you.

For some reason I have this strong belief that unless you are planning on having children, then you shouldn't engage in sex. I am against sex for "pleasure". It has more to do with the set of problems that come with using it for pleasure....but maybe I'm just strange that way.

Well, you wouldn't have anything against sex where all the percautions are taken: blood tests, condoms, female birth contril, and a monogamous relationship. Then would sex for pleasure be acceptable to you?  

[Sanguvixen]

Dathu

Sanguvixen

Hmmmm....

Personally I have no problem with it. If you want to have sex before you get married than good for you.

For some reason I have this strong belief that unless you are planning on having children, then you shouldn't engage in sex. I am against sex for "pleasure". It has more to do with the set of problems that come with using it for pleasure....but maybe I'm just strange that way.

Well, you wouldn't have anything against sex where all the percautions are taken: blood tests, condoms, female birth contril, and a monogamous relationship. Then would sex for pleasure be acceptable to you?

;thinks; I don't care how safe you make sex. I don't care how careful you are. It just doesn't seem right to me that something that exists supposedly for the creation of more of your kind has become something for the use of pleasure, or to the point that it is needed in order for a relationship to thrive.

The problems I speak of have less to do with STD's and unwanted pregancies and more to do with....I don't know. I don't even understand why I really feel this way, but then again I'm asexual so it is not as though I could really understand why people would do it for pleasure.

It's just something in my head says "Something isn't right" and I haven't quite figured out why it's saying that. Sometimes my mind and me don't work well together.

EDIT: Wait...shouldn't that be my mind and I? Oh well, it's too late at night to be worrying about grammar, and correct useage of words.

 

[Dathu]

Sanguvixen

;thinks; I don't care how safe you make sex. I don't care how careful you are. It just doesn't seem right to me that something that exists supposedly for the creation of more of your kind has become something for the use of pleasure, or to the point that it is needed in order for a relationship to thrive.

The problems I speak of have less to do with STD's and unwanted pregancies and more to do with....I don't know. I don't even understand why I really feel this way, but then again I'm asexual so it is not as though I could really understand why people would do it for pleasure.

It's just something in my head says "Something isn't right" and I haven't quite figured out why it's saying that. Sometimes my mind and me don't work well together.

Ah, so it's just a biased opinion. Okay.

Wait, by "biased opinion" I don't mean that negatively. I mean that in the sense that everyone has an area or issue where they have personal biases. Like I have a huge issue with lying, to the point where I am completely unforgiving, even if it's something trivial. That doesn't mean I think the whole world should be as stubburn as myself, but I can't change the way I feel, so it's just my personal bias. I would use a different term, but "opinion" doesn't quite hit it, and...that's all I came up with. sweatdrop

But as far as the "what it's intended for." Would you apply that indisciminately or only in this area. I mention this because if all "natural acts" should only be done for their intended purpose, then we souldn't eat anything that isn't purely for health since eating is only to sustain life. We shouldn't waste time listsening to music since the only reason we have hearing to warn us of encroaching enimies. Like ninjas! ninja

But even then if you wanna hit the whole "what was intended by nature" then surgery, medicine, art, perfume, are all perversions of nature. Do you see where I'm comming from, so the question I ask is: Where do you draw line? why draw the line there? How is sex different from any other natural function? Just curious.  

[Sanguvixen]

Dathu

Sanguvixen

;thinks; I don't care how safe you make sex. I don't care how careful you are. It just doesn't seem right to me that something that exists supposedly for the creation of more of your kind has become something for the use of pleasure, or to the point that it is needed in order for a relationship to thrive.

The problems I speak of have less to do with STD's and unwanted pregancies and more to do with....I don't know. I don't even understand why I really feel this way, but then again I'm asexual so it is not as though I could really understand why people would do it for pleasure.

It's just something in my head says "Something isn't right" and I haven't quite figured out why it's saying that. Sometimes my mind and me don't work well together.

Ah, so it's just a biased opinion. Okay.

Wait, by "biased opinion" I don't mean that negatively. I mean that in the sense that everyone has an area or issue where they have personal biases. Like I have a huge issue with lying, to the point where I am completely unforgiving, even if it's something trivial. That doesn't mean I think the whole world should be as stubburn as myself, but I can't change the way I feel, so it's just my personal bias. I would use a different term, but "opinion" doesn't quite hit it, and...that's all I came up with. sweatdrop

But as far as the "what it's intended for." Would you apply that indisciminately or only in this area. I mention this because if all "natural acts" should only be done for their intended purpose, then we souldn't eat anything that isn't purely for health since eating is only to sustain life. We shouldn't waste time listsening to music since the only reason we have hearing to warn us of encroaching enimies. Like ninjas! ninja

But even then if you wanna hit the whole "what was intended by nature" then surgery, medicine, art, perfume, are all perversions of nature. Do you see where I'm comming from, so the question I ask is: Where do you draw line? why draw the line there? How is sex different from any other natural function? Just curious.

There are some things you need to live. There are others things you don't need to live but are nice to have. You need air, oxygen, water, food, and sleep. You don't need, dragon things, sex, video-games, the latest gadgets, or a 200$ pair of jeans that will fall apart in two weeks.

There are needs, and there are wants. My problem with sex is that some people treat it as more of a need that has to be forfilled, instead of the want that it actually is. That view of sex can cause relationships to fall apart.

I guess I dislike the idea that a person only stays with another person so long as the sex is good, or if that person can't get the sex they want then the relationship falls apart. So to me...I would rather that sex be left out of the equation unless one wants children, or it should be kept as just a want that is nice, but isn't necessarily a need. Do you get where I am getting at?

 

[Dathu]

Sanguvixen

There are some things you need to live. There are others things you don't need to live but are nice to have. You need air, oxygen, water, food, and sleep. You don't need, dragon things, sex, video-games, the latest gadgets, or a 200$ pair of jeans that will fall apart in two weeks.

There are needs, and there are wants. My problem with sex is that some people treat it as more of a need that has to be forfilled, instead of the want that it actually is. That view of sex can cause relationships to fall apart.

I guess I dislike the idea that a person only stays with another person so long as the sex is good, or if that person can't get the sex they want then the relationship falls apart. So to me...I would rather that sex be left out of the equation unless one wants children, or it should be kept as just a want that is nice, but isn't necessarily a need. Do you get where I am getting at?

You know, I think we've gotton to know each a bit over these few years that we have been debating in this guild, and I hope I am not outstepping my boundries, but I have to ask: Did that (the relationship issues) happen to you or someone you cared for?

If it's too personal, I apologive in advance.  

[Sanguvixen]

Dathu

Sanguvixen

There are some things you need to live. There are others things you don't need to live but are nice to have. You need air, oxygen, water, food, and sleep. You don't need, dragon things, sex, video-games, the latest gadgets, or a 200$ pair of jeans that will fall apart in two weeks.

There are needs, and there are wants. My problem with sex is that some people treat it as more of a need that has to be forfilled, instead of the want that it actually is. That view of sex can cause relationships to fall apart.

I guess I dislike the idea that a person only stays with another person so long as the sex is good, or if that person can't get the sex they want then the relationship falls apart. So to me...I would rather that sex be left out of the equation unless one wants children, or it should be kept as just a want that is nice, but isn't necessarily a need. Do you get where I am getting at?

You know, I think we've gotton to know each a bit over these few years that we have been debating in this guild, and I hope I am not outstepping my boundries, but I have to ask: Did that (the relationship issues) happen to you or someone you cared for?

If it's too personal, I apologive in advance.

It's happened to a couple of people I know. Really though...I think I just got tired of being told something was wrong with me. I think that is where it all stems from.

When I got into my high-school years I had zero interest in dating. That is where the taunts started. "There is something wrong with you!" "What is wrong with you?" "Why won't you date?" "Why are you still a virgin?"

Ever since I admitted to friends that I find the idea of sex for pleasure repulsive, and I want to live my life without it...I've been prodded, taunted, or told that I am denying myself something good. Once a person told me I should see a doctor because I'm messed up.

So ******** what? Just recently a friend stayed the night and really pissed me off. Yes, I know he has fantasies at night about being able to yiff me, but I'm not into that kind of thing. I don't want sex, I won't have sex, and no one is going to tell me I'm broken, or that I need to big fixed.

There is something wrong with you, there is something wrong with you, there is something wrong with ******** that. If you have an overwhelming need to have sex than you go do that with somebody and pass it off as love. Don't try to tell me I'm broken, and I need to learn to open my legs too.

;growls; Sorry...thats a sore subject for me. You know, when you spend your life with people who tell you are broken, and thier remedies only make things worse, you learn that maybe the best thing to do is realize that you are not broken, and they are the ones who need to be fixed.

Maybe my vicious dislike of the idea of sex for pleasure means I'll never get married, but then again at least I'll never get divorced! cool

 

[Dathu]

Sanguvixen

It's happened to a couple of people I know. Really though...I think I just got tired of being told something was wrong with me. I think that is where it all stems from.

When I got into my high-school years I had zero interest in dating. That is where the taunts started. "There is something wrong with you!" "What is wrong with you?" "Why won't you date?" "Why are you still a virgin?"

Ever since I admitted to friends that I find the idea of sex for pleasure repulsive, and I want to live my life without it...I've been prodded, taunted, or told that I am denying myself something good. Once a person told me I should see a doctor because I'm messed up.

So ******** what? Just recently a friend stayed the night and really pissed me off. Yes, I know he has fantasies at night about being able to yiff me, but I'm not into that kind of thing. I don't want sex, I won't have sex, and no one is going to tell me I'm broken, or that I need to big fixed.

There is something wrong with you, there is something wrong with you, there is something wrong with ******** that. If you have an overwhelming need to have sex than you go do that with somebody and pass it off as love. Don't try to tell me I'm broken, and I need to learn to open my legs too.

;growls; Sorry...thats a sore subject for me. You know, when you spend your life with people who tell you are broken, and thier remedies only make things worse, you learn that maybe the best thing to do is realize that you are not broken, and they are the ones who need to be fixed.

Maybe my vicious dislike of the idea of sex for pleasure means I'll never get married, but then again at least I'll never get divorced! cool

Well, this is the only life you got, so I say do whatever makes you feel good. I don't think anyone is broken. Just different, but different is good.

I have to admit though, there is something arousing about a woman doesn't think she'd like sex..............I really don't know why...........Maybe it's just that can-do male mentality of "Let me at it, I'll make'er come, just you watch." xd I dunno. Maybe I'm just an animal after all.  

[Sanguvixen]

Dathu

Sanguvixen

It's happened to a couple of people I know. Really though...I think I just got tired of being told something was wrong with me. I think that is where it all stems from.

When I got into my high-school years I had zero interest in dating. That is where the taunts started. "There is something wrong with you!" "What is wrong with you?" "Why won't you date?" "Why are you still a virgin?"

Ever since I admitted to friends that I find the idea of sex for pleasure repulsive, and I want to live my life without it...I've been prodded, taunted, or told that I am denying myself something good. Once a person told me I should see a doctor because I'm messed up.

So ******** what? Just recently a friend stayed the night and really pissed me off. Yes, I know he has fantasies at night about being able to yiff me, but I'm not into that kind of thing. I don't want sex, I won't have sex, and no one is going to tell me I'm broken, or that I need to big fixed.

There is something wrong with you, there is something wrong with you, there is something wrong with ******** that. If you have an overwhelming need to have sex than you go do that with somebody and pass it off as love. Don't try to tell me I'm broken, and I need to learn to open my legs too.

;growls; Sorry...thats a sore subject for me. You know, when you spend your life with people who tell you are broken, and thier remedies only make things worse, you learn that maybe the best thing to do is realize that you are not broken, and they are the ones who need to be fixed.

Maybe my vicious dislike of the idea of sex for pleasure means I'll never get married, but then again at least I'll never get divorced! cool

Well, this is the only life you got, so I say do whatever makes you feel good. I don't think anyone is broken. Just different, but different is good.

I have to admit though, there is something arousing about a woman doesn't think she'd like sex..............I really don't know why...........Maybe it's just that can-do male mentality of "Let me at it, I'll make'er come, just you watch." xd I dunno. Maybe I'm just an animal after all.

Difference is awsome. It is what makes us all the same.

I agree we only have but one life to live. It may seem selfish to say this, but your life is too precious to spend trying to please others. You should spend it trying to please and cater to yourself only.

In my life I had to stoop low, and be drugged on different medications to please others and make them happy. The day I was off the drugs it was a whole new life, but not everyone liked the "real" me. Being myself pissed a lot of people off. They days of me bending to other people's wills are gone. Much of what is said to me is no longer said because it falls on deaf ears. People know this now. I am who I am, and I will change for no one. If a person can't be happy with who I am, that is thier problem. My friends that I have left are with me because they don't expect me to change.

I find it annoying that people want to flock to those who are different in ideas and try to change them to suit themselves. I don't want sex...is that so wrong? No it isn't.

 

[Meirelle]

Meh. *shrugs* I pretty much don't care.

To the person who didn't date all through high school-- yeah, I've been there. Not the taunts or anything, but I haven't had a single date in my life, and I'm 23. Do I care? No. I pretty much hate people.

I can't deal with the type of personal relationships usually associated with having a sexual partner. Unless I find a dude who's okay with me seeing him only once or twice a week, I doubt I'd work well in a relationship. I like "me time." And hey, who says you need somebody for sexual pleasure anyhow? That's what masturbation is for.  

[Niveous]

Oh yeah.

It's a great idea.

I don't care if I sound shallow. But love making is a nice aspect of the relationship. And what if the spouse you were "investing in" turns out to be a prude. And what if you're not one? Or vice versa. You want a partner you can can feel comfortable with for life. Covering all ground and "trying before you buy" or in this case...commit. Is fine. Just like how couples live together first before getting married. They are trying it out.

Marriage is just that big of a step.

Plus, even more convincing stuff. Look at what abstinence does to people?!
Pervy priests and twisted ways for people to unleash pent up sexual frustration? Why? Because its "wrong" to do so?

There is nothing wring with hormones. Sure, they can get you into a lot of trouble. And yeah, waiting till your of age helps. It may be taboo, but it is healthy in an of itself. It should not be seen as some vile and disgusting thing. Making people afraid to admit to masturbating and such. Prisoners in their own minds to feeling shameful. Shame is a powerful stress agent. It causes tons of mental and physical problems.


Although, I do like the idea of waiting for that special someone. It doesn't matter. Being realistic is what living is all about. If you can't find someone special, but you are trying....kudos. Trying is a great way to start.  

[Killian Darkwater]

Lust got the best of me. =/ I still feel guilty about it, even if I do use like four methods of birth control--I'm just so freaking paranoid of becoming pregnant.

I use to be against the whole sex before marriage--but it wasn't because of the morals and crap, it was because I feared having children and not having a stable life to offer them if I became pregnant at the wrong time.