Hidden Emotions

[xXwolfyhybridXx]

somigirl777

Just please never get to the point where you harm yourself, I have been to that dark place inside myslef where physical pain was the only solution for me to feel pain and honestly I feel like a dumb@$$ here it is my senior year and when I look back at the 7th grade me who cut herself because she couldn't do anything and missed her mom so she went home to cry and feel something I thought,"what would my mom do? How would she handle this what would she tell me....." Then I felt retarded and sought grievence therapy.

Oh. >< I thought about cutting myself, but I realized it was a stupid idea and never wanting to feel that kind of pain, again. I get really depressed on my period and feel like cutting, but I remind myself why I don't do it. By the whole never want to feel the pain again. I meant when I was kid I got into a fight with a gang member and my arms were cut. I got out actually and kicked the gang members ***, but I still have the scars on my body. The other gang members wanted to cut me, but I moved away that year, so I was saved by that. I still have the scars they aren't as visible as they used to be, but they are when my skin changes color.  

[somigirl777]

xXwolfyhybridXx

somigirl777

This won't help much but honestly when my mom died I was torn up and none of my friends could tell because I kept a smile on my face and did my school work like usual but at nights when I went home I wrote out letters to each of my best friends explaining to them how much it hurt that they didn't notice anything along with the stress and added emotions from being a 7th grade and loosing your mom, getting your first period and to top off having no one understand you but when I got into a a decent place I gave my friends the letters and they all responded telling me they honestly didn't know what to do besides go about a regular day and just wait for me. Here it has been almost 5 years since I lost my mom and the crying never stops, I still get sad but when ever I get to that hide to myself phase I write out letters to people and wait until a good moment to give it to them, so pretty much just write!

The worst was a month after my mom passed we started our state contest choir piece and it was the celin dion song from Titanic- My heart will go on, I broke down in tears left the room because I slowly accepted the truth, currently the numbness has set back in my gma died July 4th.....but she is healthy now!

That's such a sad story! T.T My boyfriend's mom is dead too, he doesn't cry unless I'm around. I'm made him cry one time because at my grandpa's funeral I wrote this poem. He cried saying, "That reminds me of my mom." I felt so bad that I cried hard, but he said it was really good. I am better at explaining things when I write instead of talking about it. Um...maybe I should try that along with explaining in person. Thanks Som! ^.^ *huggles you* Hope things get easier for you...if not I'll help you out. :3

 

[xXwolfyhybridXx]

somigirl777

xXwolfyhybridXx

somigirl777

This won't help much but honestly when my mom died I was torn up and none of my friends could tell because I kept a smile on my face and did my school work like usual but at nights when I went home I wrote out letters to each of my best friends explaining to them how much it hurt that they didn't notice anything along with the stress and added emotions from being a 7th grade and loosing your mom, getting your first period and to top off having no one understand you but when I got into a a decent place I gave my friends the letters and they all responded telling me they honestly didn't know what to do besides go about a regular day and just wait for me. Here it has been almost 5 years since I lost my mom and the crying never stops, I still get sad but when ever I get to that hide to myself phase I write out letters to people and wait until a good moment to give it to them, so pretty much just write!

The worst was a month after my mom passed we started our state contest choir piece and it was the celin dion song from Titanic- My heart will go on, I broke down in tears left the room because I slowly accepted the truth, currently the numbness has set back in my gma died July 4th.....but she is healthy now!

That's such a sad story! T.T My boyfriend's mom is dead too, he doesn't cry unless I'm around. I'm made him cry one time because at my grandpa's funeral I wrote this poem. He cried saying, "That reminds me of my mom." I felt so bad that I cried hard, but he said it was really good. I am better at explaining things when I write instead of talking about it. Um...maybe I should try that along with explaining in person. Thanks Som! ^.^ *huggles you* Hope things get easier for you...if not I'll help you out. :3

Omg! >< That's so bad. I really do hope things get way better for you from now on. That's good she is healthy now. Hope she stays that way for a long time. ^.^  

[somigirl777]

xXwolfyhybridXx

somigirl777

xXwolfyhybridXx

somigirl777

This won't help much but honestly when my mom died I was torn up and none of my friends could tell because I kept a smile on my face and did my school work like usual but at nights when I went home I wrote out letters to each of my best friends explaining to them how much it hurt that they didn't notice anything along with the stress and added emotions from being a 7th grade and loosing your mom, getting your first period and to top off having no one understand you but when I got into a a decent place I gave my friends the letters and they all responded telling me they honestly didn't know what to do besides go about a regular day and just wait for me. Here it has been almost 5 years since I lost my mom and the crying never stops, I still get sad but when ever I get to that hide to myself phase I write out letters to people and wait until a good moment to give it to them, so pretty much just write!

The worst was a month after my mom passed we started our state contest choir piece and it was the celin dion song from Titanic- My heart will go on, I broke down in tears left the room because I slowly accepted the truth, currently the numbness has set back in my gma died July 4th.....but she is healthy now!

That's such a sad story! T.T My boyfriend's mom is dead too, he doesn't cry unless I'm around. I'm made him cry one time because at my grandpa's funeral I wrote this poem. He cried saying, "That reminds me of my mom." I felt so bad that I cried hard, but he said it was really good. I am better at explaining things when I write instead of talking about it. Um...maybe I should try that along with explaining in person. Thanks Som! ^.^ *huggles you* Hope things get easier for you...if not I'll help you out. :3

Omg! >< That's so bad. I really do hope things get way better for you from now on. That's good she is healthy now. Hope she stays that way for a long time. ^.^

With death comes the ultimate cure, no more cancer no more pain no more medicine!  

[xXwolfyhybridXx]

somigirl777

xXwolfyhybridXx

somigirl777

xXwolfyhybridXx

somigirl777

This won't help much but honestly when my mom died I was torn up and none of my friends could tell because I kept a smile on my face and did my school work like usual but at nights when I went home I wrote out letters to each of my best friends explaining to them how much it hurt that they didn't notice anything along with the stress and added emotions from being a 7th grade and loosing your mom, getting your first period and to top off having no one understand you but when I got into a a decent place I gave my friends the letters and they all responded telling me they honestly didn't know what to do besides go about a regular day and just wait for me. Here it has been almost 5 years since I lost my mom and the crying never stops, I still get sad but when ever I get to that hide to myself phase I write out letters to people and wait until a good moment to give it to them, so pretty much just write!

The worst was a month after my mom passed we started our state contest choir piece and it was the celin dion song from Titanic- My heart will go on, I broke down in tears left the room because I slowly accepted the truth, currently the numbness has set back in my gma died July 4th.....but she is healthy now!

That's such a sad story! T.T My boyfriend's mom is dead too, he doesn't cry unless I'm around. I'm made him cry one time because at my grandpa's funeral I wrote this poem. He cried saying, "That reminds me of my mom." I felt so bad that I cried hard, but he said it was really good. I am better at explaining things when I write instead of talking about it. Um...maybe I should try that along with explaining in person. Thanks Som! ^.^ *huggles you* Hope things get easier for you...if not I'll help you out. :3

Omg! >< That's so bad. I really do hope things get way better for you from now on. That's good she is healthy now. Hope she stays that way for a long time. ^.^

With death comes the ultimate cure, no more cancer no more pain no more medicine!

*nods* I do agree. I'd rather be dead than suffer from something. Good luck, som. :3 And thanks again for the advice.  

[cuttlebone]

I don't really have any advice for you, because I'm guilty of this big time. I mean, I seriously can't think of a time when I've told anyone about something important that was bothering me. Little worries, sure, and superficial things, but never anything that actually matters.

I know that personally, I do it because I don't want to be a 'whiner', or to annoy people by complaining about things that don't affect them. It's foolish, because friends and family are there to listen and help, but for whatever reason I'm sure I'm going to come off as irrational and needy.

Basically, I'm wondering if it's a similar thought process that's causing you to shut everything away, or if it's something completely different and I should just be quiet? xd  

[xXwolfyhybridXx]

easypeasylemonsqueezie

I don't really have any advice for you, because I'm guilty of this big time. I mean, I seriously can't think of a time when I've told anyone about something important that was bothering me. Little worries, sure, and superficial things, but never anything that actually matters.

I know that personally, I do it because I don't want to be a 'whiner', or to annoy people by complaining about things that don't affect them. It's foolish, because friends and family are there to listen and help, but for whatever reason I'm sure I'm going to come off as irrational and needy.

Basically, I'm wondering if it's a similar thought process that's causing you to shut everything away, or if it's something completely different and I should just be quiet? xd

That was actually the reason. I always felt like I would be bothering people with my problems. Like I would come off needy and whiny and couldn't do anything myself. I learned actually that its okay to take things off your chest every now and than. To let friends know what's happening in your life.