[FIN] Catching Up

[Suudonym]

"I… don't know," he replied, his tone matching the uncertainty of his words. "I feel like I always end up saying things I don't mean, or believing things I don't want to. It's kind of scary." He closed and opened his hands idly in his lap, hesitant to think too much about his own words.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"You mean like... when we went for a walk?" When they walked around the poor district in the middle of the night in Grand Ile? Wait, was that a thing he didn't want to think about too?

"Well," she backpedaled again, suddenly hesitant again and doubting her prior word choices, "like.. uh, something like that I guess..?" Shoot, she really didn't want to make him feel worse, because then she'd feel like the shittiest person.  

[Suudonym]

He gave a small nod in response to confirm her example, volunteering some elaboration, "It was a problem the other day, too. It's hard to get into much of a decent mood when I'm always afraid of what I might think about."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Aha! She knew something else had happened - clearly that had to be it, and all of her uncertainty thus far and doubting her feelings and second-guessing herself was completely and entirely baseless worry. Even more important than that, though, was the fact that something did indeed happen recently, when obviously Luke should be exempt from life's s**t for a while. Not that she could do much about it though. "What happened?" She asked, still frowning lightly, brows knitted in mild concern. Certainly nothing too bad though, since he wasn't in the hospital again or anything.  

[Suudonym]

He shook his head slightly. "Nothing major or anything. I was talking to someone," they both knew that someone, he recalled, "to Dove, and I… got out of hand, I guess. I said the wrong things and…" And he wound up believing the wrong things and wanting the wrong things and all the wrong things happened as a result.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"Okay," she replied with a nod, expression clearing briefly before he continued. He had been talking to Dove, and he had... gotten out of hand? And said the wrong things... This was sounding a little weird. She had been worried over the past few weeks of saying the wrong things to Luke, not that Luke would say the wrong things to her. Actually, she didn't even think it was possible for him to say any wrong things at the moment, since she and Rosie were perfectly fine - it was Luke who they had to be aware of for sensitive topics, so for him to think that he had said the wrong thing to someone else... It didn't really make a whole lot of sense to her.

The lack of comprehension showed plainly in her countenance as she turned to face him, "What do you mean? What did you guys talk about?" Hopefully nothing bad. The last thing Luke needed was to talk about everything that happened when it was still so recent and obviously painful for him. They hadn't talked of that, had they?  

[Suudonym]

"Things," he said vaguely, shrugging. "She wanted to apologize, and I… started blaming myself, like usual." He drew slightly inward; he was getting tired of that self-deprecation and of all the trouble and worry it caused, but he couldn't escape it.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

So Dove had wanted to apologize... And Luke had started blaming himself? The confusion was evident on her face still, "What did she have to apologize for?" This was making absolutely no sense to her.  

[Suudonym]

"She read Asch's letter aloud, after I woke up," he said haltingly, "because I wouldn't read it for myself. And she wanted to apologize for that, I guess."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"Why would she--" Wait, Asch left a letter? Like a suicide note? s**t... Well, that did make sense, she supposed, since Asch did kill himself to save Luke... Actually, she started to wonder why she never even considered the possibility that he'd left a note or a letter of some sort -- though how could she ever ask such a question of Luke? She wouldn't. "So, he left you a note and she... offered to read it? And you said yeah? So why would she apologize..?" If she'd offered to read it to him and he agreed and she did so, there was no reason for anyone to apologize about anything. So did that mean... Dove was apologizing just for the sake of apologizing, or did it happen differently, or what the hell even. This was why she didn't think about stuff like this; it was starting to give her a headache.  

[Suudonym]

He propped his elbow against his knee and lay his forehead against his palm. "I didn't really say yes," he murmured. "I was being stubborn. Yuri told me that he'd died, but I didn't want to think it was true. And since the letter was proof, I didn't…" A slow remorse ebbed into his posture and features at the memories.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"Ohh..." The brunette hesitantly reached out to touch his shoulder. "I understand," sort of, when Anastasia was stolen - she had disappeared as had her ball, which was more than enough proof, but Sera had fervently denied the truth for as long as she possibly could. It was the closest thing she could think of that might possibly relate somewhat.

After a few awkward moments she removed her hand and replaced it in her lap. "Well, she at least asked, right?" It was still kind of a shitty thing to do, to read someone else's suicide note that you were never meant to see, but if he wouldn't read it himself, then someone had to read it to him..  

[Suudonym]

"Not… really," he replied, hesitation thick in his answer. It felt like he was incriminating Dove, and he didn't really like the thought, but nor did he feel inclined at all to stop responding to Seraphine. "She said I should read, and I refused, so…"  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Sera frowned lightly. "Not really...?" Wait - she didn't ask? She just picked it up and started reading it to him when he said he didn't want to? "She didn't ask..?"

It took a couple moments, but rather than comment on it or even think about it too much, she took his mounting hesitation as a sign this wasn't exactly something he really wanted to talk about. "Well, at least she apologized," the girl said eventually, "but still... How did the apology go?" She at least apologized properly, right?

At this point, Sera was too focused on figuring out why Dove had behaved as she did to realize that she was pretty much prying.  

[Suudonym]

He shrugged and shook his head, attempting to take the sincerity out of his denial. "I think I kind of derailed the apology," he said.