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Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 9:03 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:41 pm
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Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:40 am
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Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 4:02 pm
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 8:39 am
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 5:03 am
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 1:35 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:19 am
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Posted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 3:29 pm
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Okay, here's one. No one say, "Aww, I'm so sorry" or "How did you get through that?" or anything. If you sypathise, go ahead and say that or say a story, but I'm posting this for those of you who have been through the same or a similar thing to know you aren't the only one, as I've felt most of my life. I'm NOT looking for pity. If you have that to give, go find someone who wants it. Thanks.
I won't waste your time with the long version, but in short, when i was in third grade I lived with my father, my mom a few hours away, and he sold me as a child prostitute as well as sexually, verbally, emotionally, and physically abused me though this was pretty much only when he was drunk. I still haven't been able to tell my parents this, I don't know why. I served, to my still growing memory, fifteen men at the least (and this is just what I've been able to remember so far). I did child pronography, a**l, oral, and vaginal, obviously all forced. Thankfully, they realised that my body was still vastly too small for DP (double-penetration). Along with them, there were at least two randoms on the streets that did things to me, the one I remember completely being him forcing me to do oral on him. Over my seventeen years of living, I have also had three known stalkers, one of which harrassed and raped me astrally. It got to a point where he was waking me in the middle of the night by trying to throw me across the room (he was a strong guy) and pinning me down or trying to choke me when I cried and tried to beg for him to stop. Thankfully, though, I've only been raped astrally maybe five times. Seven at most. I don't like keeping count, I'm sure you can understand. And up until recently, I've been emotionally/verbally abused by my dad now (he moved out, but still comes by).
There's still a lot more s**t to my story, but I'll probably post that later.
And no, I'm not making any of this up as some people tend to think. (They hear me say those first couple sentences then stop me and say, "Stop lying, you b***h. That's a horrible thing to say about your dad, not to mention to lie about! Think about all those girls who actually went through that.") Kindly keep any negative comments to yourself.
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Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:21 pm
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Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 9:31 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:30 am
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This is... -Deep breath.- I apologize if I seem very nervous or whatnot while talking about this, but this is one of the few times I have actually spoken about this for the simple reason that the person who abused me (who I have not yet decided whether I will name in this or not) has threatened to kill me if I told anyone.
For approximately the last seven years, I have been abused emotionally, verbally, and physically by my mother and father. My father (yes; he is the one who threatened to kill me) is the only person who has physically abused me, but both of my parents have abused me emotionally and verbally. Both of my parents have called me worthless and used rather rude and hurtful terms (in other words, curse words) to affect me in negative ways when I have done something that they don't like. My mother normally yells at me for things as small as not putting my towel down the laundry shoot. She's also blamed me for things that aren't even my fault, like the fact that she's gained ten pounds while attempting to lose weight. My father... Well, whenever he gets upset, he yells for me. I attempt to hide, but there's a key to my bedroom door that he has and is able to unlock my door when I hide. He hits me with open palms, closed fists, throws books/et cetera at me, and has even thrown glasses at me.
Now, I've tried telling my psychologist about this - as well as the social worker who works with him - but no one has believed me so far. I'm thinking about telling my family doctor when I go to get my meningitis shot, but I don't know that she'll be able to do anything about it. I'm also thinking about just running away.
-Sigh.- I just wish my parents didn't hate me.
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:06 am
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Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 12:12 pm
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:45 pm
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courtney murder This is... -Deep breath.- I apologize if I seem very nervous or whatnot while talking about this, but this is one of the few times I have actually spoken about this for the simple reason that the person who abused me (who I have not yet decided whether I will name in this or not) has threatened to kill me if I told anyone.
For approximately the last seven years, I have been abused emotionally, verbally, and physically by my mother and father. My father (yes; he is the one who threatened to kill me) is the only person who has physically abused me, but both of my parents have abused me emotionally and verbally. Both of my parents have called me worthless and used rather rude and hurtful terms (in other words, curse words) to affect me in negative ways when I have done something that they don't like. My mother normally yells at me for things as small as not putting my towel down the laundry shoot. She's also blamed me for things that aren't even my fault, like the fact that she's gained ten pounds while attempting to lose weight. My father... Well, whenever he gets upset, he yells for me. I attempt to hide, but there's a key to my bedroom door that he has and is able to unlock my door when I hide. He hits me with open palms, closed fists, throws books/et cetera at me, and has even thrown glasses at me.
Now, I've tried telling my psychologist about this - as well as the social worker who works with him - but no one has believed me so far. I'm thinking about telling my family doctor when I go to get my meningitis shot, but I don't know that she'll be able to do anything about it. I'm also thinking about just running away.
-Sigh.- I just wish my parents didn't hate me.
I've never had serious problems with my family. But I've been working at a doctor's office for a while now and I can tell you that doctors know nearly everyone. At the clinic I work at, we have five psychologists, 3 therapists, and 12 couselors on call from opening to closing. I kind of know how everyone feels about not being believed or getting help when you need it. When my counselor told me that I may need to be put on Paxil, my mother wouldn't let me go back to see her. Now that I'm 19, I got some from my doctor and I've felt great, even on such a low dose. Sometime's your doctor can even be your psychologist. Just ask him/her the next time you see them.
And remember, there are people out there who love you. heart
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