[PRP] How Can I Help You?

[Tori Honoo]

"Or a gentle reminder of things I shouldn't have been doing. I guess I don't regret them too much, though..." she admitted quietly, pushing her hair back again. "I'll keep them, though..."

When he shook his head, she tilted her own, looking at him contemplatively. "What kind of freedom did you want?" she asked tentatively, shifting back from him a bit as a sort of guilt twisted in her stomach. "Or... do you want, I guess..."

She bit her lip and immediately tugged her shirt back down, realizing that even that small bit was probably too much for a 'stranger'. "S-Sorry... I guess I'm a little... too used to that," she admitted, looking back to the bandages again. "Um.."  

[Akira Midoriyama]

"Why don't you think you should have been doing those things?" he asked. "Especially if regret isn't really a reason?"

Shrugging at her question, he sighed. "I don't really know anymore. It seemed so simple before, but I guess the grass is always greener on the other side."

He tilted his head. "Too used to what?" Akira brought the items to the counter and began to ring them up. "You still didn't tell me if you found a soup you liked."  

[Tori Honoo]

"The old me would have at least thought about it, but would have given in and stayed safe in the end," she offered, looking away again for a minute. Quieter, she added, "It's not such a bad thing that I did it, though, if that means losing those restraints. I'm... not exactly proud of who I was, then."

"They definitely make it seem that way. I'll not lie, I'm a bit less optimistic about things myself, these days, but I guess it's not all bad." A slight, hopefully reassuring smile. Things have a way of surprising you every so often no matter where you are. We just have to let wherever we are shape us...or fight it with everything we've got."

She continued to play with the hem of her shirt, then looked over her shoulder again toward the soup aisle. "Oh, um... Having to show people my sides. First the modeling, then weeks of being looked at in a hospital, so..." A shrug, her cheeks slightly pink and her gaze toward her shoes for the moment. "Used to it."

Ah, soup. Yes, soup. "Sorry!" she apologized quickly, turning back to him as she stepped back toward the soups. "I haven't been able to cook for myself for a while, and I'm still not sure what's quick..." Another, almost shamed look. "I, um... don't often do the canned...thing...."  

[Kitomyx]

"Oh. Well good for you," he said, nodding. "It's always a good idea to try to improve yourself."

"Mm, I suppose not," Akira conceded. "Maybe you're right."

"Ah. It's okay; I understand." Smiling with a shake of his head as she apologized, he waited for her to pick one. "Well, there's always restaurants around if you prefer."  

[Tori Honoo]

As if feeling an immediate dismissal, she only nodded and quickly moved away to find soup, deciding not to comment further, as he hadn't given her much room to add anything aside from quiet agreement.

As she looked through the soup, she stayed quiet a minute, sighing as she looked from can to can. "I shouldn't... That's just extra money I shouldn't spend, and besides... it's lonely going alone."  

[Akira Midoriyama]

"The money thing I can understand," he said, thinking about it as he leaned forward on the counter. "But wouldn't eating canned soup at home alone be just as lonely?"  

[Tori Honoo]

She stayed quiet, longer this time, feeling even smaller. "It's sad and a really pathetic picture, but it's easier being lonely at home than in public. And if I'm honest, I'm... not exactly in the best condition to make friends. I'm... actually... pretty bad at it, even when I'm in good shape."  

[Akira Midoriyama]

"Why would you think it's easier?" he asked, sounding perplexed. "I'd think in public, at least there's always the chance to run into someone you know or to meet new people." At her claim of being bad at making friends, he laughed aloud.

"Tori, you think you're bad at making friends? I'm downright awful." He put his face in his hands wearily, his smile melancholy. "My best friend was some stupid a*****e jerk who I hated at first sight. How's that for friendship?"  

[Tori Honoo]

"I don't like being upset in front of people. Probably because I'm so used to hiding it, even though.." A weak laugh as she picked up a can to read the back of it, and a slight shrug of her unharmed shoulder. "Most people say they can read me like an open book. Its just a self conscious thing, I guess. Meeting people is fun, and I really enjoy it, but... I've been a bit off of my game for the past few weeks...if that makes sense. "

"It's better than thinking you're good friends with someone who actually hates you and finding out later." A short pause. "And then finally realizing that they're right, but not knowing how to fix it, and on top of that not being able to trust any of your friends you once knew out of the fear that they were just as fake as you were." She blinked, very visibly startled by the few tears that lined her eyes. She shook her head, giving another shaky laugh as she peeked over at him. "I came to Kodo and made friends, then lost friends almost immediately for being an idiot, so...we all make mistakes."

Looking away for a second, she then rounded back around the corner with a few cans. "Was everything okay, though? For you, I mean? What happened, if it's not too much to ask."  

[Akira Midoriyama]

"Truthfully, you are pretty easy to read," he confessed. "It's hard to tell you're trying to hide it. But that would only support the fact that you wouldn't want to be out in public and upset - because they'd be able to tell right away." He cupped his chin. "I guess that's hiding physically instead of just metaphorically, then."

"Heh...I'm not really sure what you mean by 'off your game', since friend-making isn't exactly a sport," he answered with some amusement, "but I understand wanting to have time to yourself."

He shook his head at her reply. "It wasn't better. Turned out he'd been fooling me all along. Maybe I just didn't read the signs because I didn't want to or didn't know how, but they're always there," Akira said. "Why do you think I keep so distant from people today? I'm having trouble trusting them too, though here people supposedly don't have as much motive to back-stab you."

The stock clerk shrugged. "I think our way of making friends is as fake as where we came from, though, so naturally people here don't trust us. They can see through our 'bullshit', even if it's the only way we know how to act. But that's why we have to adapt, learn, and change. Be more genuine. Stop trying to hide feelings and express what we really feel."

Blinking at her question, he asked,"What happened regarding what? My best friend?" A small, painful smirk crept across his lips as he leaned over to take the cans. "Didn't I tell you? I fell in love with him and he played me for a sap."  

[Tori Honoo]

She gave an embarrassed smile, then tucked her hair back, letting it fade quickly. "Yes... it's embarrassing sometimes, but it's me."
A shake of her head. "It's not really, but yeah..." Truth be told, she certainly didn't want to be by herself, and absolutely hated being alone, but she really couldn't see much of an option at the moment, aside from that.

She listened to him, her full attention on what he said, sympathizing a bit, but shaking her head a little. Where we came from... So distant from people today... Didn't I tell you... "But... I've we've only just met...right?" she offered, trying to make the situation somewhat lighter for them both, but giving him the option to stay serious and parallel their conversation to their past selves if he wanted to. It had been a while since she had felt comfortable enough to joke with him, and as they were the only people in the shop, she now took the liberty, even though it was slight, hoping to at least get a hint of one way or another in how to act with him now. She did offer a reassuring smile, feeling that she might relate a bit. "I'm sorry...I understand a little, though, in that area, I think..." she told him, leaving it open to talk if he wished. "My ex was...very manipulative and I basically blinded myself, even in the worse of it. I'm not even sure if I could see it or not, though I'd like to think I was just...blind. Which is sad, but more acceptable in some ways than thinking I knew and putting up with the treatment anyway."  

[Akira Midoriyama]

"Oh, uh..." He hesitated, suddenly realizing his error if a bit too late. "...Right. Sorry." After ringing up the last of the cans, he placed them in a bag with her bandages and prescribed medication. "I don't know," he murmured, handing the bag to her. "Sometimes I wish I would have preferred to know. At least then maybe I wouldn't have felt so stupid in the end."  

[Tori Honoo]

She shook her head just a bit to tell him it was fine, then reached for the bag and offered her card for payment as she listened. "I guess that makes sense to... but to know and allow them to hurt you anyway, even when you could have stopped it... doesn't that make you even more stupid in the end?" she asked, this time surprised at the strain in her voice. The tears had returned, and again, she blinked them down, overwhelmed with how natural the conversation between them was. A soft apology as she shook her head. "Sorry... I just haven't really talked to anyone...not that could relate a little."  

[Akira Midoriyama]

"At least it would have been my choice," Akira replied, taking the card and swiping it. Noticing her tears, he handed her a tissue from a box beside him along with her card back. "Here." He shook his head. "I'm sure there are a lot of people to relate to. Just not many talk about it. Don't want to look weak, so they hide behind masks."