[FIN] New Chapter

[Suudonym]

"I hope so," he said. "At this point, I just..."

Just... what? Wanted to be good at something? Wanted to be useful? A day earlier, he would have had no hesitations in declaring why he felt his most suitable place was with the Special Ops division. He was capable of and willing to fight, and he wanted to help protect the region. It wasn't as though any of that had changed, but with everything that had happened that day, it seemed like he was almost desperate to find a place where he had value.

Instead of finishing the statement he had started, what followed was an arbitrary question, "How do you think people measure their worth...?"  

[Blood_Goddess]

She really wish she could know what was going on in that head of his right now, he seemed to be trying to find something to talk about, but everything he was saying was seemingly just leading back to him not wanting to talk about whatever it was he didn't want to talk about.

Rosie looked to Northern, who was watching Luke with an intense stare and a scrunched face, clearly feeling whatever it was he was feeling as well.

How do people measure their worth- not an uncommon concern when it came to Luke, Rosie knew, it made her wonder if he was struggling with that right now, after being told to quit or he would be fired, she wouldn't be surprised in the least.
"Um... welll." She started giving the question some thought. "I guess it just depends on the person, or... their situation. I used to be told that you're worth the work that you put into what you believe in. I never really thought about it though..." She tilted her head "What do you mean though?"  

[Suudonym]

"Well..." He struggled to pinpoint the thoughts to give a response. "If you become useless to someone, if they consider you unnecessary... If you reject the thing that gave you value..." He frowned, lost in a void of words. "I don't really know how to explain it well." Failure after failure.  

[Blood_Goddess]

"Then they're wrong." She said very plainly almost firmly "No one had the right to do that to another person, and if they insist, then they're wrong. Just becasue you're not cut out for politics, doesn't mean that you're value doesn't lay somewhere else, and to other people."  

[Suudonym]

"So you just have to put up with being worthless to that person," he concluded, though it hardly sounded like he was surprised. He laid his head against the back of the couch, leaning towards his knees. "...Maybe I shouldn't change my name. I don't want to ruin anything else."  

[Blood_Goddess]

Rosie blinked, not sure... what to say to that. "I don't... understand." She said after a moment. Clearly something she said was said wrong for that to be the conclusion he came to.  

[Suudonym]

"You know, like..." He gestured helplessly, as though he could clarify his meaning perfectly by ambiguously waving his hands. "Like... Like how I'm worthless to the embassy. Nothing I can do would benefit them at all. I could drop dead and it wouldn't impact them in any way. They have no use for me." A mild shrug. "And that's just how it is... Maybe I can do better with Special Ops, but that doesn't make me worth anything to the embassy. It's just something that I accept." And he could accept it; the embassy was similarly useless to him and to his ambitions. Knowing that his own family felt similarly, however, was far more difficult to swallow.  

[Blood_Goddess]

"Just becasue they don't think that doesn't mean you are." She reached a hand out to touch his arm. "Special ops protects the people on the island, them included." She pointed out "no one is worthless, and shame on them for making you feel that way. No one can do everything, and its silly to expect them to."  

[Suudonym]

"That's fine as long as both parties are in Kodo," he murmured. It wasn't as if his father reaped any benefit from him protecting the region; in fact, he had to doubt that the man would mind in the slightest if the entire place sank into the ocean. He drew in a long breath and exhaled it quietly. "Sorry, I guess I'm not really making much sense. Maybe later tonight, or tomorrow..."  

[Blood_Goddess]

Parties in Kodo?
It dawned on her then that this whole ambassador thing had been completely Luke's father's idea, and what must he be thinking of this turn of events.
She couldn't imagine that would... or had gone over well, if this was any hint as to what might have happened to put Luke down this much.

She wasn't sure what else to say, she guessed that he just needed the night to just try and deal with it before she wanted to listen. Trying not to feel like nothing she said was helping, she knew how he dealt with things like that, and that he usually liked to work post it himself at first.
"No, its alright." she reassured "If you want to talk about it later." She sat up a little more, pushing herself to her feet but leaning down to kiss the top of his head. "But you're not worthless. Thats all I'm saying"  

[Suudonym]

He raised his head enough to show a smile, and though it was meek and troubled, it offered more gratitude than he could find in simple words.  

[Blood_Goddess]

She smiled back, with a loving encouragement, brushing the back of her fingers over the side of his face before she sighed and folded them behind her back "Well, I've got the clean the back out a bit before I let the others out there, if you needed something to do you're welcome to help me, but I understand if you just want to sit and reflect."  

[Suudonym]

He shook his head and moved to set his feet on the floor, "I'll help." Wanting a distraction, wanting to feel useful, just wanting to lend his assistance the person he loved, or perhaps some combination of the three - one way or another, it was a temporary means to put the thoughts out of his head.