Have you ever?

[Phanaridie]

Platinum_Behemoth252

Phanari

Platinum_Behemoth252

Phanari

Platinum_Behemoth252

Phanari

Wow. I never really looked at my life that way.

i find that hard to believe...
you must jst have been concentrating on all the bad in your life that you nvr stopped to see how beautiful your whole life has been...
jst because a few bad things happen doesnt screw up your whole life...
and as long as you feel bad about those things...or let them shape the way you act in the future...they have and will always continue to control you...thats what i try and do...i try and look at the beauty of life when the s**t starts raining down on me...i find myself more free because of it...i still cant believe you nvr saw how good you have it...
*shakes head*

I've known that I had great family and friends, but it seemed that everything I was delt with sucked.

eh you were jst concentrating on a few bad things.

Yeah like my bipolar and my bad genes and my inability to stand up for myself and blatently tell someone to leave me alone.
Even after Chubby told her we didn't want to have anything to do with her, this b***h in church comes up and talks to me like we're friends.

what i usually do in that situation is make it completely known that i dont like them...usually with physical violence...

I never know what to do. I just smile and act stiff, but interested so I'm not being rude.  

[ShizokuUyeno]

Platinum_Behemoth252

Phanari

Platinum_Behemoth252

Phanari

Platinum_Behemoth252

Phanari

Wow. I never really looked at my life that way.

i find that hard to believe...
you must jst have been concentrating on all the bad in your life that you nvr stopped to see how beautiful your whole life has been...
jst because a few bad things happen doesnt screw up your whole life...
and as long as you feel bad about those things...or let them shape the way you act in the future...they have and will always continue to control you...thats what i try and do...i try and look at the beauty of life when the s**t starts raining down on me...i find myself more free because of it...i still cant believe you nvr saw how good you have it...
*shakes head*

I've known that I had great family and friends, but it seemed that everything I was delt with sucked.

eh you were jst concentrating on a few bad things.

Yeah like my bipolar and my bad genes and my inability to stand up for myself and blatently tell someone to leave me alone.
Even after Chubby told her we didn't want to have anything to do with her, this b***h in church comes up and talks to me like we're friends.

what i usually do in that situation is make it completely known that i dont like them...usually with physical violence...

I just normally hurt them and make it obvious that im not even trying in the slightest. they tend to not want to know what I could do if I was devoted to the cause of bringing them pain. she is a good hugger it will lift your spirits she can share sometime when you two meet im surtian that it will happen. ^_^  

[Phanaridie]

Men were made to provide, protect, and conqure. That's your nature to be confrontational and defensive. It's just not mine.  

[Platinum_Behemoth252]

Eh i guess its cause i really dont like ppl...
i guess its weird to say but i really actually hate 'ppl'...
if i dont know you the only emotion i can give you is 'hate'.
its the only emotion i have spare of...because the actual ppl i know that i hate i am nvr around...and i dont hate my friends...so i cant express it there...and unfortunately there is hate inside me and i recognize that fact...so i jst save every positive emotioin for ppl i know and the negative ones for ppl i dont know...the only time i will meet 'new ppl' is when my freinds want me to...i dont care if your a hot chick that passes by me or a hobo...i hate you both the same...so if there is someone to focus my hate on...well lets jst say it gets really bad...i guess since i use everyone else in my life its kinda a given that i would use myself as a tool as well...
kinda sad though...funny in a black way...
i use everyone...even myself...until they have no further use...  

[Phanaridie]

That must make meeting people very hard. I'm sorry that's how you feel, sweetie. ::gives you a huggle and a kiss on the cheek:: You need pasta.  

[Platinum_Behemoth252]

Phanari

That must make meeting people very hard. I'm sorry that's how you feel, sweetie. ::gives you a huggle and a kiss on the cheek:: You need pasta.

it does make meeting ppl very hard if i am not with friends...
thats why i get so lonely and depressed...sort of like an anger and fear that when i do meet the one i wont realize it...and treat her like all the other trash i see...and jst the thought of even accidentally doing that to someone i could care about so much...well it makes me sad, lonely, and depressed...

...i know i have issues...
oh thanks for the patsa  

[Phanaridie]

You're welcome for the pasta. It's with Holiday Sauce, so you better like it. ::evil glare::