[FIN] Myosotis

[Blood_Goddess]

Rosie wasn't sure what to say to that, It was clear he didn't remember, yet, he remembers some of the feelings from it?
"This dissociative amnesia is pretty confusing." She admitted
"What you describe is, very accurate, but I feel like I need to point out that you.. weren't really allowed to grieve the way you needed to after you found out what happened. That alone was extremely difficult, but it was just the start of just... a series of ordeals you had to put up with right after you got out of the hospital, up until you started to come around from the darkest times you've ever had to deal with." She pointed out "But I know you weren't ungrateful."  

[Suudonym]

A small nod, "I know it was complicated, even if I don't know exactly how." A frown came into his features, equal parts puzzled and frustrated. "I wish I understood it better... But I understand more than I did before, at least, and regardless of what I thought then, all I really have is what I think now." He raised a hand slightly to his chest, "I'd always thought this scar was kind of unnerving, but I think I can appreciate it now. It's undeniable proof that there was someone who cared enough to give everything and thought I was worth it. I want to live up to that expectation, memories or not."  

[Blood_Goddess]

Rosie smiled at his words, "I'm glad." She said with a great sense of relief.
She knew that he understood what his brother sacrificed, and why. but after everything that happened it was hard for him to really be at peace with it. It was one of the things she felt was robbed from him by his life events.

"and I'm sorry if I just confused you more... It really is a long story..."  

[Suudonym]

He folded the letter carefully along its creases, shaking his head, "I'm fine with just the gist of it for now, but I would like to hear everything eventually, when it's not out of the blue and on the spot like this - if you don't mind telling me."  

[Blood_Goddess]

Rosie shook her head and smiled "No, I don't mind, whenever you want to, I'll be happy to help." She grinned a little more sheepishly "I'm sorry I never seem to have anything particularly nice to tell you about your past."  

[Suudonym]

"Well," he lifted his shoulders in a brief shrug, "that's not your fault. And besides, an unpleasant past doesn't mean the future can't be happy, right?"  

[Blood_Goddess]

Rosie perked up a little, visibly agreeing with him whole heatedly before she said anything.
"Thats always what we hoped for, for you."

She relaxed her shoulders, shaking the hair away from her cheeks. It was hard to think that this was the same Luke, he was Luke, it was very clear but just... without his terrible past.
"Its nice to see you like this though, not being tormented by everything that happened." She arched her eyebrows. "I'm sure you've got other things to be stressed about, you know- but... its different. you just feel. I don't know, lighter. "  

[Suudonym]

He hummed thoughtfully in consideration of her words. At first he had merely decided to be positive because it felt better than being negative, but somewhere along the line that brightness seemed to have become habitual. "It's kind of hard to avoid feeling stressed out sometimes," he said, "but I figured out pretty quickly that it doesn't help anything, you know? Worrying about stuff I can't change is just worrying for no reason; I'd rather focus on what I can do."  

[Blood_Goddess]

"Well yeah." She agreed, knowing he had more reaosn then most to be stressed out, not just at this point, but before he lost his memory.
"Well, I'm happy for you, I'm glad that you sound like you're doing better."

It hurt to say, and the realization hurt even more. But maybe he was better off like this. In the end this was still Luke, everything about his was just like the man she fell in love with, the only thing missing where the things that kept him scared and stressed and in pain.
It had been over a month since he lost his memory, over a month was along time of waiting and hoping every morning that he would remember... but at this point she was starting to wonder that hoping that him having his memory back was for more selfish reasons, and not what might actually be best for Luke himself.

Rosie blinked, lowering her eyes as she tried to keep the pain in her chest at bay, looking at him didn't help.
She smiled though, and made a gesture behind her. "I have some of your book in the other room." It gave her a good excuse to step out, as she looked over the book in her hands and made her way back to the living room.  

[Suudonym]

Better, huh? He supposed he wouldn't really know. He didn't want to think that he was better without his memories than with them; he had been living as though it was only natural that he would eventually remember, and he had been thinking of himself as somehow incomplete without them. There were people waiting for him to remember, and he didn't want to let them down.

"Okay," he replied with a nod. "I'll get these on the shelf first then." He gestured behind him to the books that had been abandoned before he had had even begun to place them properly, turning to return the letter to its place and complete his original task as Rosie moved away.