[FIN] Not So Strong Now

[insidiousEnigma]

"Sometimes you just can't help it." He said simply with a shrug as he sat back on his heels. "The brain generates feelings of empathy through social interactions that are helped along by mirror neurons. Mirror neurons increase connectedness by helping us imitate others. Good imitators are able to imagine how other people feel, what they might think and how they might react, and this process fosters mutual bonding...so perhaps your prolonged exposure to a select few is what garnered thone attchments."

He didn't pretend to understand why people wanted friends outside of what was written in books. From all of his studying he still couldn't place why he felt the need to be friends with Izaya...and yet here he was. Pushing his own comfort boundaries to extend the proverbial olive branch.

"I'm right...?" He repeated slowly, a bit bewildered by the others sudden change of heart. He hadn't really thought...well he had hoped what he had said would help but he wasn't known as the most comforting person. The Agent eyed the other man warily for a moment before nodding. "I see. Well...make sure you fully think about this idea and its consequences before acting on it. I would really rather not..." He frowned a bit as his eyes dropped to the floor. "Just be careful."  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

"Your brother doesn't have that problem with his brain," Izaya mumbled sulkily. "But I guess it's not something that's all that easy to fix. Particularly now that Agent Faleen, the person I know with the most experience messing directly with people's brains, has defected."

The ex-Rocket's face lit up as he turned slowly to Zacharie with a funny expression. "Ne, Zachie-chan...perhaps you can help me," he said with an ominous note in his tone and a foreboding smile. "This will probably right up your alley since you're so interested in science and human biology. Did you hear about the re-animated corpses that have been running around the base as of late...?"  

[insidiousEnigma]

Zacharie didn't know what Izaya meant by that. Andre was a bit closed off but seemed perfectly capable of with making relationships with those around him. "I don't think it'd be wise to try to alter that part of your brain anyway." He said instead of voicing his questions. "A lack of empathy can be very dangerous."

If the Agent wasn't wary before then he was now.

"...I've heard of them, yes." He admitted slowly, trying to read what Izaya was thinking from his expression alone. "Sadly I don't know too much about them...I got promoted a little too late to be a part of that particular project." He muttered bitterly.  

[Kitomyx]

"Oh?" Izaya inquired with a bitter laugh. "Well evidently I'm already very dangerous; a threat to both myself and others, so I don't know how that could make things any worse." He worked so hard at acting like he didn't feel or know what others must have felt like. How much different would it have been to actually be that way, aside from not having to act?

"Ah...that's a terrible shame," the man remarked, shaking his head. "I guess I'll have to look into them more on my own. Honestly, I'm astounded you haven't tried to find out more about them just out of curiosity. I mean, I know you're busy now as an agent, but even so, it can't be that hard for you to track down Grunt KO and Trainee Gaia for a little chat about what it's like being undead, can it? Not when they're right under your nose in plain sight as opposed to being locked up in a lab somewhere."  

[insidiousEnigma]

"I feel like that is a rather intimate matter." Zacharie said awkwardly as he pushed himself to his feet to stretch out his legs. "I didn't know either of them before their deaths so it would probably be considered rude for me to expect answers from them." He was fairly certain that it wasn't polite to ask strangers about their death and then subsequent reincarnation. "I had planned to look into the matter for myself when I had a bit more free time..." He gave the grunt a curious look as he sat back on the bench. "Why do you want to know about them?"  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

The informant waved a hand at the agent dismissively. "You're part of a criminal organization and you don't mind ignoring ethics, but if something might be considered rude, Arceus forbid you attempt it. I see how it is."

He cast Zacharie a disappointed smile and shook his head. "Nevermind. If you're not going to help me, then don't worry your pretty little head about it. Can't have you being associated with the actions of a traitor." He reached over to ruffle the seated young man's head before heading toward the door. "I guess there's nothing more for us to discuss, then. Have fun with your workout and apologies for the interruption."  

[insidiousEnigma]

"I don't ignore ethics." Zacharie grumbled under his breath. Why was Izaya so convinced that he went around breaking moral codes for the fun of it? He may do morally gray things but he tried his very best to live up to his own moral code. He never hurt anyone intentionally or without provocation and he certainly never experimented on people without their consent.

...Well...living people.
But dead people didn't know one way or another so it wasn't really hurting anyone.

A frown tugged at the corners of his lips as a warm hand ruffled his hair. "You didn't ask for my help." Zacharie objected standing to follow after the other. "So I couldn't have declined." He certainly didn't like that disappointed look and if it wasn't anything too risky he really didn't mind helping.  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

"No, you may not ignore ethics, but you make up your own as it suits you, same as Shinra. As far as society's concerned, I think they count that as the same thing," the older man said, waving off the topic like it was as trivial as the pronunciation of the word 'tomato'.

When Zacharie pointed out that he hadn't asked for help, however, Izaya gave him a look like the purple-haired Rocket was purposefully trying to push his buttons. "I didn't say you declined, I said you're not going to help me. Whether or not I directly asked for your help wouldn't matter if it was about something you wouldn't do regardless. Am I wrong?"  

[insidiousEnigma]

Zacharie didn't understand how Izaya could possibly know whether or not he'd be willing to help. So while the other hadn't outright said that he decline, it was basically implied as far as the Agent was concerned. "If I'm as prone to ignoring conventional methods as you say I am then how would you know that I'm not willing to help?" Though if it was something that Izaya thought that someone with a lack of ethics wouldn't be interested in then he highly doubted that he would be all that pleased to help.

The boy shook his head with a sigh and held up his hands in surrender at the others agitated expression. "If you feel I won't be of any help then that's fine." He took a step back and reached for his water bottle. "...Just be careful." He muttered.  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

"Because, from what you told me, it's 'rude'," Izaya answered, making air quotations. "If you could have done it, I would have thought you'd have done it already - to sate your own curiosity if not mine."

His mouth twitched. "Be careful? Oh sure, I'll be careful looking into this thing that I'm probably not supposed to know about even if I wasn't considered a Rocket traitor. But hey, what's the worst that can happen? That I'll die?" Izaya gave a derisive laugh. "No worries. I hear they have a cure for that these days."  

[insidiousEnigma]

It was apparent that Zacharie wasn't going to win this. Not that he had expected to, Izaya didn't seem to really care for his opinions. "They may have a 'cure' for that but why would they bother bringing you back?" He snapped. "Take your own mortality a little more seriously. You just said that you're considered a traitor and have basically said they're ready to dispose of you at the next offense, there's no shortage of dead bodies why would they bring a traitor back to life?" He threw his arms up in exasperation. "I don't know." He groused, mostly to himself as he snatched his things up and made to leave. "Your reasoning is ridiculous, I just don't know. If you won't be careful for yourself you could at least be careful for the people that care about you but whatever."

It appeared that he'd reached the end of the rope of some sort.  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

The ex-Rocket flinched. He hadn't meant for the notion that he'd be brought back to life to be taken seriously, but the reminder that he was already so close to death was enough to give him pause, especially with how much Izaya loved being alive.

"...What...what did you say?"

When he looked back at Zacharie, there was genuine fear in his eyes.  

[insidiousEnigma]

The Agent paused mid-step, startled by the sudden change in demeanor.

...Should he have just kept his mouth shut?

"...I told you to take your own mortality a little more seriously...?" He said slowly, though it sounded more like a question even to his own ears.  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

"No, not that..." he murmured. "I mean about...do you...?" Pain, both physical and emotional, seemed to contort his features as he shut his eyes and shook his head. "No, nevermind. You can't. Not you too."

Izaya turned around again. "I gotta get out of here..." Despite all of Zacharie's implications and even, perhaps, direct statements, it hadn't seemed to dawn on Izaya until that moment that Zacharie might have included himself in the tiny group of people who stubbornly insisted they actually cared about the informant.  

[insidiousEnigma]

Zacharie's eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion before understanding dawned on him. "Izaya." He reached out and took a hold of the others wrist. Not a tight grip, but a hesitant one to catch his attention and possibly keep him from leaving too soon. "I do." He said sternly, but earnestly, his expression open and a little nervous. "Care...that is. Whether you want me to or not." He released the other and took a few steps back. "So you know...look after yourself."