[FIN] Who Will it Be?

[TawnyAngel]

After giving Abel his glass and then delivering one to Zev Taavi had curled up on the couch and not turned the radio on after all. There wasn't a clock hanging up to tick but he counted the time in his own heartbeats and sipped slowly at his drink. When was she going to strike? Part of him hoped it was soon, the waiting was more than he could stand.

He cooked quietly and alone, and after what felt like quite a long time plated up three burgers with sides of fries and headed through to the other room. "Ah, hello, here is food," he said as he set the plates down on the table. "That one there is for you Taavi, it has chilli powder in the mince and jalapeños under the cheese. The other two are plain but there is mayo here and ketchup, and there are some slices of jalapeño here still on the side if anyone wishes." He'd probably take some himself but not as many as Taavi seemed able to devour with pleasure.

He was not looking forward to this meal, his stomach felt tight with anxiety that he had no way to address. When whatever that anxiety was all about happened however he didn't want to be caught without energy, when you could do nothing else you rested and ate.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Abel barely registered the fact Taavi was on the couch, so preoccupied was he on his pacing and hopeless predicament. There wasn't any way out that he could see, not one that didn't end in something horrible. No matter what, he'd either be told to do something horrible that he wouldn't be able to do, or she would sell him out. Honestly the latter was most probable - selling Taavi out had been horrible enough, but whatever she was planning this time would no doubt be infinitely worse, he just knew it - so he'd probably have to accept the fact she'd send all the evidence she had of his crimes to the relevant parties. That would be it; everyone would know, and he'd no doubt he arrested and tried for them, or at least the ones they could still charge him for. How long would he go to prison for? Would they give him the death penalty? Could they?

Not that he'd let them, of course; he wouldn't be able to live with himself if his family found out. What would they do? What would they think? They were everything to him, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing them over his actions... No, there was only one option he could see; he'd have to get rid of Alyssa so she couldn't harm anyone again - not Taavi, not Zev, not anyone - and since that would no doubt result in the evidence against him being sent out anyway, once she disappeared under mysterious circumstances, he'd just have to permanently disappear as well. What about his pokemon though? Well some of them would have to go back to his parents, of course, but maybe some would want to stay with Taavi maybe.. Would he even take them? He'd have to write notes and send them out either shortly before or after getting rid of Alyssa, and once they were taken care of, then he could...

"Oh." Zevran was here with food; food he couldn't stomach. It would just come right back up again. "Thanks," he said regardless, as he continued to pace miserably back and forth in the living room. What else could he do? He didn't want it to end like this. He knew it would end sooner or later, but he hadn't expected it to end this soon, and not like this.  

[TawnyAngel]

"Oh, um, thanks," Taavi said with a weak, unhappy looking smile as he got up from the couch and headed over to the table. It was nice that Zev had gone to the trouble of making something special and separate for him, he felt bad that he probably wouldn't enjoy it much. When was the last time he'd really enjoyed a meal anyway? Everything was just.... It never stopped, did it?

"Come on Abel you must eat something," Zevran implored gently. "Whatever is coming you cannot face it if you have not eaten. I will not try to force you but it is... sensible? Yes, it is sensible."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

The taller blond scrubbed his fingers through his hair unhappily, still continuing his restless pacing around the apartment. He was so tired of all of this, he just wanted it to be over... "I can't," he said, faint traces of frustration in his voice. "I know it's the sensible thing to do, but I just.." How could he even think of eating at a time like this?  

[TawnyAngel]

Taavi, never a fan of any kind of conflict, got on with eating his own food. The burger was good, and the spice weirdly felt like it was doing him some kind of good like it always did but he still felt like he wasn't really tasting it.

He wished Valour was here.

"Just a couple of fries?" Zevran suggested pleadingly. "I don't want you fainting or something, so please? For me?" Abel cared about him, it was odd to think of but he believed it. Would that be enough to persuade him to have something?  

[BlackFireKitsune]

His miserable pacing continued, the unhappiness in his features growing. "I know I should, but I just.. I don't think I can eat anything, I don't think I can keep it down."  

[TawnyAngel]

Ah, s**t.

Zevran got up from the table and went to reclaim Abel's glass from where he'd set it down. He then filled it with soda again and took it over to the pacing blond. "Just sip this then, slowly. Take an hour over it if you want, it is still better than nothing."

Back at the table Taavi had stopped eating. His throat felt thick and everything was just sinking inside him. What was the point? Nothing ever seemed to get better anymore, it had just been getting worse and worse since Abel had been stabbed. What had they done to deserve this? What was Alyssa going to do next? He couldn't do anything to help himself or Abel, it was just.... What was the point?  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"I don't really want soda," he admitted, even as he obediently took the glass; he didn't start sipping on it just yet though. Instead he immediately resumed walking back and forth across the living room, his free hand at his face while his occupied hand occasionally remembered there was something in it that he shouldn't spill all over the floor. Occasionally. "I don't... ********, I don't want any of this bullshit, I..." He didn't want it to end like this. He didn't want it to end at all -- he didn't want his life to end. He wasn't ready to die yet, but what choice did he have? The same choices Alyssa always gave him; terrible ones that weren't really choices at all.  

[TawnyAngel]

This was not helping, and he had come here to help.

Abel couldn't eat, didn't want to drink, in fact didn't seem capable of doing anything but pace and whatever was wrong - very, very wrong - that was only going to make things worse.

Very well then.

Zevran interrupted Abel's path by the coffee table and relieved him of the unwanted soda, which he quickly set down on the little table before straightening up again and placing his hands on Abel's waist. "Then do not think on it for a while," he said, hooking his thumbs into the taller man's belt and leaning up to kiss him.

Oh... well... that might work he guessed. Taavi turned his attention firmly back onto his food and made himself eat another fry.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Abel came to an abrupt halt once again as his friend blocked his path. As the glass was removed - the glass he very well might have forgotten about completely and dropped if his thoughts had the chance to consume him further - the taller blond frowned a bit at the statement.. suggestion? Something? "That's--" Not possible, not going to happen, I can't. He didn't have the chance to finish the sentence he'd started.

The sudden feeling of Zevran's lips pressed against his surprised him and drove all his thoughts away for a moment or two. He returned the kiss practically on reflex, and as his hands lifted to gently curl his fingers around Zev's arms, he broke off the kiss and aimed the same miserable, fearful expression at his friend, this time tinged with hesitance and uncertainty. "I don't... I'm not sure," he admitted, the same emotions on his face manifesting in his voice. Now wasn't the time; Taavi was home, Alyssa could come at any minute, his life as he knew it was over, hell, his life itself could be over. Now really was not the time for that... And yet a small, selfish part of him wanted it to be.  

[TawnyAngel]

Seeing Abel like this made his heart feel as though it was tearing in two and he hated that he didn't know what was happening or how to be of any real help. Still.

Zevran slid his arms around Abel's waist and lifted his chin to meet the taller man's worried blue eyes with a slightly sad looking smile. "If the answer is no then it is no and that's fine but I thought that this might be a good time to be distracting? If you cannot do anything about what is happening right now, do what you can to relax."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

As the shorter blond drew closer, Abel returned the gentle embrace by wrapping his arms around Zevran and resting his forehead on his. "I..." He what? Didn't want to? That was a lie. Did he want to say 'yes' though? He wasn't too sure if he did, because what if Alyssa showed up then? Now wasn't the time, there was too much s**t going on, it wasn't okay--

Was it though? The way Zevran had kissed him, was holding him, looking at him; all of it seemed to say it's okay. Was it though? Was it really?

...did it really matter now if it wasn't, when there was a distinct possibility he wouldn't live much longer?

Abel drew in a slow, hesitant breath, murmured a soft "okay," and dipped his face down for another kiss.  

[TawnyAngel]

He kissed Abel softly but his arms tightened around the taller man's waist, if he held him close enough perhaps he could keep him safe and banish whatever was eating away at his heart. When their lips finally parted again he let go of Abel's waist, but only so that he could take his hand and tug him gently towards the bedroom. Whatever was going to happen would happen it seemed, but for now he intended that Abel should forget it all entirely.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

His grip tightened too, hints of desperation creeping into his countenance as he held onto him like some sort of lifeline, like everything would turn out okay maybe if he didn't let go. Zevran needn't tug too hard; Abel eagerly followed without argument.


Some time later Abel emerged from his bedroom, debated whether to continue pacing for the briefest of moments, and when his decision was a resounding 'not' he turned and collapsed into the armchair nestled in the corner of the living room, one leg flopped over the arm while the other rested on the floor, and his head using the other arm as a pillow. While part of him wanted to keep pacing because he had to do something, the overwhelming majority of him was far too tired and devoid of energy of any kind to do anything. He had enough energy leftover to gesture for Zev to join him, curled up on the armchair, and a scant minute or two later exhaustion bid him to sleep.

And sleep he did, though only for an hour or two; eventually his eyelids cracked open and he heaved a sleepy sigh as he drifted back to full, albeit still drained and exhausted, consciousness.  

[TawnyAngel]

Taavi was half asleep on the couch when Abel emerged. He pulled his headphones out and half sat up to encourage his friend not to start wearing out the floor again but luckily Abel made that decision for himself. Perhaps he could have offered the couch when Zev moved to drape himself in Abel's lap but actually they looked pretty comfortable and as he and the pokemon settled around him and on top of him were too Taavi just lay down again and closed his eyes.

He had been half awake for a little while when Abel stirred and sighed. Zevran made a sleepy noise of his own and then started to rub little circles on Abel's shoulder with his fingertips as he lifted his head off the other man's shoulder just enough to kiss his jaw. "Hello."