[FIN] I Don't Speak Your Language (Izaya & Mathis)

[insidiousEnigma]

Mathis paused once more and covered the mouthpiece on his phone, "Rap, spill the beans, give you the information you want." He clarified for the shorter male with an obvious air of amusement. "No, yeah baby, I'm still listenin'." He turned his attention back to his phone. "Yeah, 'm with someone...well what'dya think? I'd sit around being a sorry sap after you ditched me?" He turned left and started down the hallway, not seeming particularly concerned that Izaya was trailing behind him. "He can't drive so someone's gotta take him." He told the trainee before barking a laugh. "Whoops. Was that a secret? Sorry baby boy." He didn't sound particularly apologetic though.  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

The Japanese man's brows rose. So this guy had meant 'rap' as in 'give information'? He hadn't realized the term could be used in such a way. Street slang, maybe? Or perhaps just more of the new Rocket's funny lingo exclusively used by him. Whatever the case, was information on Zacharie worth that much money?

Not if he was a proper information broker, it wasn't. There were other ways to get what he wanted. Also, making that deal suggested Mathis had better access to info on Zacharie than he did and Izaya wasn't about to admit that. Besides, did he really care all that much about where the agent was if he wasn't with Faleen?

And now Mathis seemed to be using Izaya to try to make Zacharie curious - or maybe even jealous. The bit about Zacharie not being able to drive was astonishing to the ex-Rocket. He spent so much of his time training, experimenting, documenting, parkouring, and other things, but he hadn't ever bothered to learn how to drive?

Wait a second. That was something Mathis knew that he didn't. But had he really bothered trying to learn something like that? And was this fellow just a blabber mouth who spouted such things on a whim, or was he purposely baiting Izaya?

"Sounds like someone's got a crush," the maroon-wearing male mused aloud with a sly smirk. "How long have you two been going out?"  

[insidiousEnigma]

"It was love at first sight." Mathis said immediately, ignoring whatever the agent was saying on the other end of the line. "Two months ago he swanned into the clinic in is lab coat, stitched me up, and we've been happily together ever since." He sighed blissfully, though from the angry shouting that could be heard from the ear piece Zacharie didn't seem to share the sentiment. "Ya can't be committed if ya ain't even jacketed, baby." He said in turn with a roll of his eyes. "No...no...not a straight jacket, jacketed, going steady." He paused yet again and huffed. "In a committed relationship, Zacharie." He threw an arm up in exasperation. "Pretty sure he hasn't given you the time of-" The dark-haired greaser stopped and turned his attention to Izaya to give the other a once over. "Oh...oooooooooh." A s**t-eating grin stretched across his face. "What? S'nothing, don't worry 'bout it." His grin didn't waver but he turned to continue on his way.  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

Well, whatever else Mathis was trying to do, it seemed he and Izaya both enjoyed giving Zacharie a hard time. "Is that so?" The angry shouting just brought a genuine grin to the crimson-eyed man's face.

He wasn't sure what the jacketed thing meant, but perhaps Zacharie hadn't either, because whomever Mathis had been talking to about it, he felt the need to explain. Still, Izaya had to wonder if that version of 'going steady' actually involved wearing a jacket or if it was just another peculiar expression. At least the info broker didn't seem to be the only bewildered one when it came to the new grunt's strange choice of words.

Wait, huh? Who hadn't given who the time of day? It was intriguing enough watching Mathis get exasperated, but now he actually seemed to be talking about something serious. Or he was up until he started grinning again...and regarded Izaya with a very unnerving expression.

Izaya frowned, perplexed. What had just happened? What was going on? He sorely disliked being kept in the dark. But it was for reasons like these that he had pre-planned solutions. He hung back for a bit while Mathis walked on and whispered a name. A joltik peeked out from under his cap and he murmured something to her. Then he ran straight at Mathis from behind, his arms out to grab him in a hug.

"Congratulations, Zachie-chan!" he joyously cried, presumably yelling to get through to the voice on the other end of the phone, but simultaneously projecting directly into Mathis' ear. "I'm so proud of you, being in your first romantic relationship! And here I thought you'd never learn to have the proper social grace to fit into society like Andre-senpai!"  

[insidiousEnigma]

Stumbling forward, Mathis turned his head as much as he could to get a look at Izaya. "Hey, hey!" He groused, bringing an arm up to push the other away. "C'mon you'll crease the threads." He winced as the trainee shouted in his ear...and then groaned when Zacharie joined in.

"Izaya?! No! It's not like that, I swear! Mathis tell him it isn't like that!!!!"

The grunt just pulled his phone away from his ear and shoved at Izaya to put some space in between them. "Both of ya bash ears!" He rubbed at his ear and shook his head. "Jeez Louise."  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

It was so nice when you knew exactly what to do to get what you wanted. "Thank you," he chimed pleasantly at Mathis before delicately accepting the phone and putting it to his own ear.

"Hello, Agent. Where are you?" he asked, his voice sweet.  

[insidiousEnigma]

"Izaya?" Zacharie sounded uncertain before his voice grew distant as he spoke to someone in the room with him. "I'm...well..." More muffled talking, this time there was a soft, feminine voice. "I'm in the labs. Is there something that you need?"  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

"Oh, just wondering when we might be going on that little excursion you promised me, since we didn't exactly set a date," he answered, studying his nails and switching modes as he perfectly played the part of a pissed-off partner.

"You seem to be in quite high demand. I only wanted to make sure you didn't forget our agreement while absorbed in the novelty of your honeymoon phase."  

[insidiousEnigma]

"No, there is no honeymoon phase...whatever that means. Amaia that's incredibly unsanitary, don't put that in you're mouth!" There was a loud clatter and a lot of shuffling before Zacharie returned to the phone. "I haven't forgotten, I promise. Some things have come up and I- Amaia! For the love of all things green and growing!" He gave an annoyed huff. "I haven't had a chance to leave the base since the last time we spoke so I haven't met with Faleen but after I deal with this I'll speak with her and then we'll go."

Mathis made a swipe for his phone. "Oi, you wanna talk to him use your own phone!"  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

Izaya pulled the phone away from his ear to stare at it. "Um...is that a new bundle of joy you're raising? My, you have been busy, haven't you? If you haven't had a chance to leave the base, why do you need someone to pick you up?"

Having caught Mathis' motions in his peripheral vision, the informant casually side-stepped him and ducked the grab for the phone. "Ah ah, not yet. It's rude to interrupt a conversation."  

[insidiousEnigma]

"A bundle of joy?" Zacharie repeated, obviously unsure of what the other was talking about. "Ah, Mathis is coming to the labs to meet me and then he's taking me to town. I need to get a few things..." He trailed off distractedly before laughing. "It's normally impolite to stare, Amaia, but I don't mind. Izaya, I really need to go. You're welcome to come with if you'd like."  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

Okay, now this Amaia person was starting to sound like Catherine. Or Kuroko. "So you are going out together, then," Izaya huffed. Nevermind that it wasn't in the way he was making it sound or that he was being invited along. "Whatever. Have fun raising your child. I'm sure you'll make a terrible parent."

He promptly hung up the phone and immediately called another number after that. Then he hung up again and tossed the device back to its owner. "Much obliged."  

[insidiousEnigma]

"Yes we're....but not like that! Izaya-!"

Mathis snatched his phone out of the air before tucking it into his pocket, despite being annoyed that his phone had been taken he seemed fairly pleased with how Izaya's conversation had gone. "No problemo, Daddy-O. Gotta beat feet, ya comin'?" He jerked his head in the direction he had been heading.  

[lZAYA ORlHARA]

Izaya took out his own phone - the one he had just called with Mathis' phone - and registered the new number on his contacts list.

"Me? Come with you?" He turned to look at the grunt with a lop-sided grin. "I wouldn't dream of imposing on your date. Have fun, though~ Especially with that third wheel. It doesn't sound like he'll be able to find a babysitter anytime soon."

Catching sight of Mika on Mathis, Izaya took his leave. If they said anything of interest, his little spy was sure to report back to him later.