Theme: cafe
Written entry
Dani had a way of mucking up all my plans. All I had wanted to do was grab my coffee and get the hell out of the cafe as soon as possible, but she came flying in from outside, her dark hair in tangles and her eyes bright. She grabbed my arm, nearly making me spill my drink, and pulled me to a table.
“Holy s**t, Lev, what the hell happened?” she asked.
I stared at her in silence for a second, noting the dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was more than just tangled--it didn’t look like she’d brushed for a week, if not more.
“Lev!”
I looked down at the paper cup in my hands, suddenly without any desire to drink its contents as I thought back on what had happened the last time Dani and I were together.
I’d almost killed her.
Why was she even anywhere near me after that?
She reached over the tabletop and grabbed my hand, and I realized she was shaking. I looked up into her face and I wanted to tell her how sorry I was, but no apology would ever fix what happened. So instead, I just looked away again, staring off toward the front counter, where the cashier eyed me with distrust.
Dani slapped her hand down on the tabletop.
“Look at me dammit!” she said, her voice rising to a scream that had everyone in the cafe looking at her. Everyone except me.
Her hand slid back to her side of the table and from the corner of my eye I saw her slump in her seat.
“It wasn’t your fault,” she said. “I know it might have seemed like I thought that, you know, at the time, but I was just scared. But I know it wasn’t your fault. Okay?”
Finally, I faced her. Her eyes shimmered with tears and she looked so hopeful, like she honestly thought that things could be fixed. But she didn’t get it. She didn’t understand. It was more than the fact I had almost killed her; it was that I had wanted to kill her. I liked to pretend I was different from the Nekriki, that they were monsters and that I was somehow still humane, but when it came down to it, I was just as capable of becoming a monster as them.
“Please, Lev,” Dani whispered. “Just talk to me. I need to know.”
“You should probably stay away from me,” I said.
She pressed her lips together. “What? Are you going to tell me that your too dangerous for me to be around? Don’t throw that cliched crap at me, alright?”
“Look, Dani, things aren’t the same anymore.”
She lowered her head into her hands, her fingers twisting through her curls. “That man…this is his fault.”
I pushed the cup of coffee to the side, knowing there was definitely no chance of me touching it now, especially not with half the people in the cafe blatantly staring and the other half surreptitiously staring.
“Bowen opened my eyes,” I said.
Dani’s head snapped up. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m part of the Nekriki now. So you shouldn’t come see me anymore. It’s that simple.”
I stood up and started toward the door, but Dani snatched my wrist. I could probably pull myself free without much trouble, yet…Dani deserved resolution. If she wasn’t convinced that it was better for us to be apart, then she would never get over it.
“Levin,” she said and when I looked back at her, there was fight in her eyes. Apparently, it would take more to convince her than I was thinking. “If you’re part of that weirdo cult, then why are you here getting coffee?”
“Old habits die hard.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t need to.”
Her grip tightened ever so slightly and then she stood up, facing me. “This world can be better. We were going to make it better, and we still can.”
I glanced around at the other customers and the lone cashier watching. One woman had her phone pointed at us, probably recording a video, in case I turned violent as they all expected I probably would.
I turned back to Dani and finally pulled my wrist free.
“This world is s**t and should burn,” I told her.
Her eyes widened and she shook her head.
I turned away from her and made my way to the door, pushing it open and stepping out into the heat. I took one glance back at Dani. She was watching me, her eyes still wide, but her hands were curled into fists at her sides and she looked like she might chase me down. I faced forward.
The sad thing was that we probably could have made some sort of difference, and I liked Dani. She was fun and quirky and she had given me hope when I really needed it. I owed her, but I owed Bowen more. He had saved my life, and that had to be repaid.
I heard the cafe door open but I didn’t stop to see if it was Dani following me out and hurried around the corner.
“Holy s**t, Lev, what the hell happened?” she asked.
I stared at her in silence for a second, noting the dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was more than just tangled--it didn’t look like she’d brushed for a week, if not more.
“Lev!”
I looked down at the paper cup in my hands, suddenly without any desire to drink its contents as I thought back on what had happened the last time Dani and I were together.
I’d almost killed her.
Why was she even anywhere near me after that?
She reached over the tabletop and grabbed my hand, and I realized she was shaking. I looked up into her face and I wanted to tell her how sorry I was, but no apology would ever fix what happened. So instead, I just looked away again, staring off toward the front counter, where the cashier eyed me with distrust.
Dani slapped her hand down on the tabletop.
“Look at me dammit!” she said, her voice rising to a scream that had everyone in the cafe looking at her. Everyone except me.
Her hand slid back to her side of the table and from the corner of my eye I saw her slump in her seat.
“It wasn’t your fault,” she said. “I know it might have seemed like I thought that, you know, at the time, but I was just scared. But I know it wasn’t your fault. Okay?”
Finally, I faced her. Her eyes shimmered with tears and she looked so hopeful, like she honestly thought that things could be fixed. But she didn’t get it. She didn’t understand. It was more than the fact I had almost killed her; it was that I had wanted to kill her. I liked to pretend I was different from the Nekriki, that they were monsters and that I was somehow still humane, but when it came down to it, I was just as capable of becoming a monster as them.
“Please, Lev,” Dani whispered. “Just talk to me. I need to know.”
“You should probably stay away from me,” I said.
She pressed her lips together. “What? Are you going to tell me that your too dangerous for me to be around? Don’t throw that cliched crap at me, alright?”
“Look, Dani, things aren’t the same anymore.”
She lowered her head into her hands, her fingers twisting through her curls. “That man…this is his fault.”
I pushed the cup of coffee to the side, knowing there was definitely no chance of me touching it now, especially not with half the people in the cafe blatantly staring and the other half surreptitiously staring.
“Bowen opened my eyes,” I said.
Dani’s head snapped up. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m part of the Nekriki now. So you shouldn’t come see me anymore. It’s that simple.”
I stood up and started toward the door, but Dani snatched my wrist. I could probably pull myself free without much trouble, yet…Dani deserved resolution. If she wasn’t convinced that it was better for us to be apart, then she would never get over it.
“Levin,” she said and when I looked back at her, there was fight in her eyes. Apparently, it would take more to convince her than I was thinking. “If you’re part of that weirdo cult, then why are you here getting coffee?”
“Old habits die hard.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t need to.”
Her grip tightened ever so slightly and then she stood up, facing me. “This world can be better. We were going to make it better, and we still can.”
I glanced around at the other customers and the lone cashier watching. One woman had her phone pointed at us, probably recording a video, in case I turned violent as they all expected I probably would.
I turned back to Dani and finally pulled my wrist free.
“This world is s**t and should burn,” I told her.
Her eyes widened and she shook her head.
I turned away from her and made my way to the door, pushing it open and stepping out into the heat. I took one glance back at Dani. She was watching me, her eyes still wide, but her hands were curled into fists at her sides and she looked like she might chase me down. I faced forward.
The sad thing was that we probably could have made some sort of difference, and I liked Dani. She was fun and quirky and she had given me hope when I really needed it. I owed her, but I owed Bowen more. He had saved my life, and that had to be repaid.
I heard the cafe door open but I didn’t stop to see if it was Dani following me out and hurried around the corner.
Comments: An excerpt from my story Blood Song.
