tab ( I bring to you a surprise of the mildly disappointing variety! If you want any insight to play Kagerou how you like feel free to ask! )
For the first time in a very long time Lahlil lay still in peaceful slumber. Visions drifted through her mind in that dreadful state, not of any curious tales, but of vibrant colors all swirled together like those formations that only exist from the furthest reaches of the observable world. There the Holage lay in the center of it all. At least until she felt the smooth touch of Kagerou's hand trace along her skin. The move was enough to remind her conciousness that there was indeed a world out there awaiting for her to rise again and with a sigh like a morning sunrise Lahlil prepared to take the first few steps back torwards reality.
It was groggy feeling at first, waking up that is. Were truth to be told Lahlil wasn't even certain if it's what she wanted anymore. But people needed her to want it and that should be enough, right? It probably wasn't something anyone else could understand. The argument was already there clearly made in her head 'Don't live for other people, you need to think of yourself sometimes.' Well why shouldn't she live for other people? After living her entire life alone and in the dark and now? Now she had a connection to everyone. It was silly sure, but it was a connection that brought more comfort than anything else she had ever experienced.
Pink eyes squinting through heavy lids, Lahlil was met with bundles of green locks that she didn't recognize at first. Those moments wherein the Kage entered the village right up until she passed out were erased from her memory like puffs of smoke to the wind. If it weren't for the fact that Kagerou had made herself a name in her village at all Lahlil would have immediately been placed in the defensive. "Wha.. you're.. hold on a second sorry. You're Kagerou right? Yeah, I'm sure that was it. What's.. uh.. what's going on..? How did I end up here?" While the first shocks of washed over her the Kage slowly began to recall the last known events that she could, the image of her mother's blood gushing over her hands.. and then.. Oh, that's right.
It wasn't a hard effort from there. She must have wanted the blood as an implant, why else would she be here practically at the mercy of another doctor. The elation that she might finally be getting what she wanted was almost enough to get a rise out of the Kage even despite her lack of awareness at her current situation. But that wouldn't do, when your mind is your enemy you have to stop those kinds if things out. Taking in a deep breath Lahlil took a moment to pit on her best face. A mask, but not to guard against someone from the outside, but rather someone from in. "Was I a pain? You can answer honestly. I promise I won't get mad and start another war or anything." A playful comment should have been followed up with a snicker or at least a deep exhale that much even Lahlil knew, but her social ineptitude from a lifetime of ostracism had caused her to hesitate long enough that she doubted it would be appropriate anymore. So instead it lay there in the air until her inwardly awkwardness forced her to try and bridge the gap. "You didn't uhm.. you know, already implant it did you?"
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HeadlessKoko
Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 12:53 am
For all of a very short instant, red eyes stared wide at the suddenly recovered hokage before downsizing as brain behind those eyes realized what had happened. "So you don't remember?" Kagerou muttered quietly to herself, a sentence that both was and wasn't a question. She had heard Lahlil clearly, and yet she could not wonder if the hokage spoke truthfully. Perhaps, even if a part of her remembered but was subconsciously blocking all memories of the incident.
Darker red stared into lighter pink as, with a smile, Kagerou replied politely, "You were quite the handful, lady Hokage, entering a childlike state, but nothing incorrigible. I will write a detailed report on the matter after this meeting, but while I have you here, I would like to recommend that you perhaps seek help for your inner demons. This time ended with only minor incident, but you may not be so lucky next time..." Arms crossed across her stomach, Kagerou leaned slightly to the side, resting her weight to her right in a relaxed, casual pose. Those eyes never left Lahlil's, though, nor did they lose their intensity as they studied the hokage. Moving onto the other question, Kagerou's answer continued smoothly, "As for your transplant, it has not occurred yet. I had the blood you had collected taken for identification and processing, but..." until she stopped without warning. Blinking, the only indication that she had to backpedal and hold herself back, Kagerou changed topic, "Ah, well, nevermind that. Instead, do you know of an Aaliyah Lovell?".
tab Whether it was a question or not, Lahlil still enthusiastically shook her head. "Nope! Not a thing." It didn't take long for the Kage to revert back to her plucky self given the circumstances but it was, truth be told, her self defense mechanism. One adopted from torturous years living under the threat that 'if you're sad or scared Ferrah will take over' and she had gotten good at it indeed. Even through the embarrassment painting Lahlil's cheeks a bright pink she held the reins over her emotions in a tight check. "A.. child..? Oh marbles, I really am sorry. I just.. had to deal with some unexpected things, personal unexpected things. I'm not like that usually I promise." The words lingered on her tongue wanting to pry further into the subject but held still.
Maybe it was all just in her mind, I mean goodness knows there was enough insecurities and conspiracy theories in there to last a lifetime, but Lahlil couldn't help but feel there to be an air of uncomfortableness nurking about from Kagerou. See what you've done now! You're wearing down on her last nerve! And after she came here on Arashi's order to help your people.."Right well, I suppose I'll just have to read your report to find out the rest. I'm sure you're probably just eager to get the surgery underway and get me out of your hair!" Laughter falling timidly away when it didn't catch on, Lahlil did her best to situate herself on the operating table as best she could, trying to flatten the ruffles in her shirt and somehow failing all at the same time. "Aaliyah Lovell? Uhm... that sounds familiar I think, but I tend to meet a lot of people as a Hokage so it's easy not to remember everyone. May I ask why you're asking after someone specific? If you're looking to track someone down I'd be more than happy to assist you! Arashi, and especially you, has done so much for us already. I'm this far quite proud to count you among my allies. Oh.. and forgive me but I'm not entirely sure how the procedure is to be done. Do you need me to do anything special? Now that I'm here on the verge of getting it's all somewhat nerve racking. Like what if I died right here on your table." Regret filled her the moment the joke left her lips. Oh peas louise Lahlil what the heck was THAT? Can you quite with the awkwardness for five seconds? She probably thinks you're still acting like an absolute lemon!
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HeadlessKoko
Posted: Thu Apr 23, 2020 4:12 pm
tab JK Lahlil actually gives Kageoru a super big lovey hug
Her eyes continued to peer. No matter how hard she tried to think otherwise, she could never completely quell her curiosity. She could see the discomfort spread in Lahlil, the way her eyes fretted to and fro nervously, the looks of someone trying to figure out another, but not in any way meant to be malicious. No, more out of consideration than anything, if Kagerou had to guess. When she heard the laugh fall out so limply, its only life taking from nervousness rather than happiness, a sore attempt at appearing acceptably lighthearted, she was all but convinced. Kagerou didn't know why Lahlil was paying so much heed to how a simple foreign doctor like her was feeling, but she knew that she didn't wish for Lahlil to go through such troubles for her.
It also did not sit well with her that she appeared to be so... grateful to Kagerou. She was, at most, merely repaying the Leaf for their assistance to Storm. That was how she wanted it to be seen. "As it is an awkward topic to approach, perhaps it is best that I ignore it and pretend I never heard it." Just as how it was better to pretend that she didn't notice other details or the connections her mind made with them, like how Lahlil was fretting about like some youth in love.
Trying to lighten the mood, the green-haired medic chuckled at Lahlil's earlier, rather appropriate choice of words. "Marbles? Well, I would say that you had just about lost them all," she joked, teased even, but never did her tone leave that polite, respectful safe ground. "Actually... Is... sanity an okay topic to joke about?" Kagerou's eyes slid to the side as she doubted her choice of humor. It was all well and good in Kiri and Lahlil gave off that almost nostalgic lack of reason the Sero often carried, but now that Kagerou thought about it, she wasn't so sure.
Nonetheless, her eyes slid back. Her doubt had merely been a thought to consider, nothing like a lasting mistake, and hardly the most important thing to worry about right now. "Rest assured, Lady Hokage," Kagerou continued as she reached a hand up to stroke her chin, "I was not bothered by your episode. At most, worried, but I understand well that it is not my place to be privy. However,..." She paused her words, but her bells continued to ring as the back of her index finger traced across her lips in thought. Beneath half-closed lids, her bright scarlet eyes could be seen tracing to and fro in unhidden contemplation.
When her irises finally settled and stopped moving, they rested on Lahlil in the same way her mind rested on a decision. Her voice, for the next few sentences, lost their lyrical quality as she spoke with utmost care now, "First and foremost, I hope that the Lady Hokage does not feel rushed with her operation and surgery on my account. Furthermore, rest assured, I will do everything in my power to ensure this surgery passes successfully. In fact...," and her voice trailed off into words too soft to hear. After a couple seconds, Kagerou shook her head, smiled, and continued, "Second, I hope that this news will not distress the Lady Hokage too much... Aaliyah Lovell is an individual who came to visit you while you were having your episode. She introduced herself as a doctor of Sunagakure and your old doctor. She expressed great concern and care for you, including telling me that you have experienced such episodes before in your past. My deepest apologies for allowing a stranger to approach you while you were vulnerable, but I did not know. Her papers were impeccable, and I could trace a lie in what she spoke of." It was not Kagerou's place to advise, but she hoped the details she chose to give would paint a picture of Aaliyah that delivered the warning she desired. This doctor, if she is truly a fake, was someone dangerous.
[40 sentences]
Evanescently Magnificent
Posted: Tue May 12, 2020 9:30 am
tab Bright fuchsia orbs stared outwards, innocently prodding at Kageoru's form as if she were trying to make sense of it. Which she was, in a sense. There was an oddly overwhelming sense of that, sweet but... also something else. Like milk and honey, it just... radiated off of her form. To someone such as Lahlil, who had spent her entire life in the absence of it, it was as blinding as the sun and more than enough to shake alive those flustered in her chest. Her thoughts, these feelings, they were not so easily expressed. The intoxication in her heart yearned to simply be able to reach out and capture whatever magical aura it was that made Kageoru who she was. To surround herself in it. That unconscious desire that all souls lay claim to? To be liked, to fill the void from a lifetime of loneliness that was now only further propagated by her title? It held Lahlil's attention in place with an unblinking certainty.
The first flinch in its armor coming only when Kageoru allowed herself a moment of an almost playful expose, almost. Her steadfast and reserved demeanor only served to play the devil on her shoulder as it were, and twist her words true intention in Lahlil's mind. Left in their place were only watery droplets rising to the surface. Nothing so dramatic as flowing tears, after all as Hokage she had long since given up such privileges. No, this was something that was more at home with the softest of whimpers. A watery glaze that could have just as easily been explained away by the fact Lahlil hadn't held an ounce of sleep in the better part of three days now. "Oh yeah!" A false smile painted itself on her face. An unconscious reaction to the situation that hoped to disguise its true emotions, and shifted itself ever so slightly towards the fake pleasantries one would come to expect from the Hokage. "Silly me! Always getting excited or overreacting. I should really keep them in a bag hm!"Ughh dumb. You should know better than to be yourself when you're always too much for everyone. If I could just die right now that would be great.
Mind racing now, Lahlil latched herself onto any piece of conversation that she could, hoping to skip ahead of this... well whatever you'd call this moment. Instead, the full weight of Lahlil's attention focused itself on Kageoru's recitation of Aaliyah's visit. The full danger of her warning, however, had trouble sticking in her mind. A touch of nativity making its place in her thoughts wondered how anyone could even want to fuss over ending her life. After all, as far as she was concerned she hadn't taken any action aside from those of the best interest to the village. What did spark a modicum of worry, was this stranger's ability to fool another into thinking they were from suna. Granted she wasn't awake to see the events unfold, the prospect that whoever this person was, might actually be from suna, pushed Lahlil right off a diving board and into the deep end of a pool, fresh full of anxiety. "Ohh... I see. Suna was a delicate time for me. I've come a long way since then, but I was seen by many doctors during that time, most of whom I don't think I could recall their names now. Do you mind if I ask... just what do you mean by 'past episodes' ...?" Lahlil had to forcibly pry her fingers away from her shirt's sleeves, the movement flowed into her cupping them on her stomach trying to make it seem as if she were only worried about it suddenly flying up.
It was a nervous tick that she had carried with her ever since childhood and one that Gado had tried to break her out of many a time. It was nothing but a window into her inner feelings, which was a liability, particularly when she had to deal with moments like this. Ferreting out what information she could without the other learning the value of it. For goodness sakes Lahlil, I can attest that you have gotten far in terms of charisma by being so... genuinely honest. But there simply will not do anymore. As kage it just... it becomes a necessity to be able to lie. The tiger's words rang in her mind even now. But was she supposed to handle it? How was she supposed to suppress how she really felt when it slipped out in nearly every action she took? She was like a boat full of holes looking down the first rain in a storm. She had no clue what this other... or rather this Aaliyah knew about her. But it's very possible that her knowledge came from a time from before Lahlil was around to take control of her mind, and she had worked too long and for too hard in this chess game between her and Ferrah over dominance, to just let a stranger come in and tilt the scales. The determination she felt in that moment was enough to wire her jaw clenched shut.
Kagerou's heart went out to Lahlil. From tears to a false smile to anxious fretting. The green haired doctor didn't even have time to be amazed at the minor, minuscule triggers for the sudden shifts in mood. She was kept on her toes worrying about each emotional phase. Did she hurt Lahlil's feelings with her joke? Oops, before she could think much about that, she had to start worrying about how uncomfortable Lahlil looked with that painfully fake smile. It was like looking at a thick layer of badly applied foundation. By the time Kagerou made the metaphor, she was tossed off balance by how the hokage was practically shaking with fear at the news of Aaliyah, and not for the reasons Kageoru thought she might worry about Aaliyah for. Was she worried Kagerou might know about a hidden past? But Kagerou had tried to assure her repeatedly that she had no interest in such things. What else could it be, then, that would make Lahlil shake like a small animal? Well... It could be anything. Everyone had their inner demons, after all, or so that was what Kagerou was told.
Politely smiling, Kagerou watched Lahlil so obviously try to keep her hands occupied by holding her belly tightly. Her mask remained unbroken, but she couldn't bear it any longer.The condition of the shivering woman drifting alone in her sea of thoughts appeared to worsen by the moment. Closing her scarlet eyes as she breathed out, Kagerou gave herself a reason for why this was the best course of action, "The more she breaks down, the more holes she creates in herself. She clearly can't stop this herself, so before her ship sinks from all the holes, I'll need to help her. That is all." When those scarlet hues reappeared, they shined with the twinkle of freedom.
Before this woman who looked like she feared for her very life (and was doing a terrible job of hiding it), the foreign doctor took a knee, lifting up the hem of her long skirt on her way down. Warm hands with long, slightly calloused fingers reached for the hokage's hands, gently prying them from the belly and then holding them together. She could only imagine Lahlil had been starving for physical touch of some sort.
Looking up at the hokage from this nonthreatening position, Kagerou's eyes traced along the firmly set jawline, determination and power exuding from them, but what was such strength if their fuel was desperation? Eventually and finally, those scarlet eyes moved across Lahlil's lips, then the bridge of her nose, until they settled on her fuchsia orbs. For a moment, she simply stared into those eyes. She stared with a smile, of course, but it was a small smile. A smile that had not yet decided what shape it would take. In the end, however, the small smile couldn't do it. It couldn't decide, indulge, comfort, or anything. The heart that desired to help did not have the heart to risk giving the hokage reason to favor her.
Therefore, she smiled instead at hers and Lahlil's clasped hands. In a gentle voice she hoped would soothe, the doctor softly assured, "Do not fret, Doctor Aaliyah said many things, but failed to include any details. She said, and I quote, 'I vividly recall that she used to struggle with her mental state as a child.' Nothing more, and nothing less." She waited a couple beats, counting on Lahlil to remain quiet during this pause, so that the tempo of the conversation would slow. Slowly, intentionally, Kagerou began to speak again, "Please... breathe. No one in this room will hurt you, nor will they think badly of you. I can promise you that." Though the guilty doctor continued to avoid eye contact, she knew all she said to be true. She, the only one in the room aside from Lahlil, had no intention to judge nor harm the hokage.
[43 sentences]
Evanescently Magnificent
Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2020 3:54 pm
tab Tired, desperate, and now furious. Lahlil continued her lament inwardly, completely unaware of how well Kageoru saw through her as well as if her chest had been a screen. Her gaze slowly fell out of fixation, focusing on a point that was further off in the distance than what the room could have possibly contained. Lahlil remained in this position, eyes glazed over and jaw trembling until the shock of another's cold touch on the soft of her skin brought her back to the small space of the hospital room, as well as to the vision of Kageoru's bright eyes staring back at her. each the color of red dahlias in full bloom.
The address was almost intimate, although not in the same way as a lover. More on the cusp on a friendship to be formed, Lahlil mimicked Kageoru's smile, albeit in a more sad parody of its reflection. Blankly allowing the foreign nin to lull the kage into a state of introspection by way of her silken voice. No one in this room, no one in the room, no one in this room... The words repeated in her head, and perhaps, evolved from Kageoru's initial meaning.
The wave of darkness came again, its embrace promising respite even as Lahlil knew it to be a lie. On the surface, nothing would change but a glimmer, a moment in time when her eyes closed for a breath too long. What Kageoru couldn't see beneath the surface, Lahlil's "Inner demons" if you would, was Ferrah's much more ferocious attempt at taking control. Try as she might, hiding emotions was much more difficult than hiding your thoughts, and the knowledge of Alliyah's appearance left unsettled tremors in their wake.
But it was different this time, she could feel it. The balance of power between them had shifted by the slightest margin, and although Lahlil lacked an understanding as to the cause, that did not stop her from leaping at the chance to exploit it. Deep, deep, deep she pressed it down into a forcible slumber, such that when her eyes opened again, it was not the same person looking out of them. Kageoru had been right after all. Nobody in this room could hurt, and she was finally beginning to realize it.
Lahlil yanked her hands free but did not pull away from the doctor, instead gripping Kageoru's hands so that her own were now the top pair. The quiet dominance was the first sign of change. A new hero had entered the story, and this was their introduction. When again Lahlil's eyes met with Kageoru's, there was a piercing essence to their power. As though she were looking right into her mind, which Kagerou would find to be quite true if she bothered to make use of the barest application of her sensory field specialty. Flickers of subtle eye movements would be the only other indication that any chakra had been used at all. Eye Mind Reading [ Dokushinjutsu ] | Rank S+
With those mystery floating things in her head now fully known to her, Lahlil dug deep into those glimmers that made the doctor who she was. The surprise of which left the Kage teetering on the edge of a sarcastic laugh. The more she discovered, the more Lahlil found Kageoru to be the person that she wanted to be, or rather had wanted to be. In a twisted sense of its meaning, the felt driven Hokage towards a feeling of kinship with Kageoru, even where she tried so hard to create none. Or maybe kinship wasn't the right word, a feeling of completion fit the description better. When Lahlil spoke next, it was without addressing Kageoru's words. "You're scared that I'd favor you?" Her words were meant to be sharp and attention-grabbing. Even if, despite their change in inflection, Lahlil was still speaking in the pace previously set by Kagoeru. It was a minuscule crack in the foundation she was trying to build, but also an important distinction to show that she was still human. That she couldn't really out speak the speaker.
"You don't need to talk like that you know. I can see riiight inside you. It's surprising actually, how much we're alike. You don't like watching other people suffer, do you? But you gotta keep up that prim and proper attitude! Especially around me." Her words echoed without concern for revealing her intrusion on the space between them. They were meant to be provocative in their deliverance, If she was able, Lahlil wanted to prod the doctor into glancing into her mind as well, into seeing what she saw. Wholly convinced in the belief that doing so would lead Kageoru to her point, her aporia."If it makes you feel better though, let me make you a promise of my own, not to give you any special treatments. But don't you think that's needlessly constrictive? To have to restrain your emotions because of how the world excepts us to act?"
For all the care Kagerou took in order to protect the hokage from herself, she had taken none to protect herself from the hokage. So as to not agitate her patient, she hadn't even used a sensory technique, so when her eyes met Lahlil's once more and the other's chakra pierced into her mind, invaded her privacy, Kagerou was unaware at first. The bright red eyes, brought up by Lahlil's sudden shift in hand placement, matched the fuchsia. The bold look of the hokage was returned by Kagerou with her own bold look, reading and estimating. She saw in those intensely colored disks a hunger from the hokage, a demand for a connection that Kagerou didn't know what to do with.
She was surprised that the hokage was able to get a read on her first, see through her ever steady smile and proper mannerisms. She thought she had been perfect in this entire exchange, and even now, she did not falter. She smiled up amiably, mask unbroken even as she was called out and her mind wrapped itself around the sadistic smile of the hokage. She looked ready to burst into rude and unforgiving laughter at any moment as she called Kagerou out.
"She reads people well." "Where did I go wrong?" "I hope she did not misunderstand." "I must be careful." "Why does she want to bond wi-"
"Squeak!" from the rafters above, a sharp sound cut through that second between Lahlil's rhetorical question and the rest of what she had to say, and right then and there, as well, was also when a guillotine of chakra would cut through the connection Lahlil had snuck between herself and Kagerou. What followed was just some small scuffling if one listened closely enough. It sounded like nothing more than the movements of an ordinary mouse.
And nothing changed. Kagerou continued to smile amiably. Her lusterless eyes looked up into Lahlil's. Her hands did nothing. They neither resisted nor accepted Lahlil's hands, but they did feel hot. If Kagerou's warm touch felt cold to Lahlil, then that only meant Lahlil's body was hotter than hers. Underneath the heat of the other, Kagerou's hands felt suffocated, but even then, she endured. She waited patiently.
Only once the hokage finished dictating her opinions, did Kagerou move. Without a word, she slid her hands out from underneath the unwelcome heat, fingers flexing briefly in enjoyment of the freedom. Her body moved closer, leaning up and into Lahlil. Slowly, carefully, green hair caressed alabaster cheeks. The fair-skinned arms of the medic from encircled around that tiny, lonely frame, pliable and easy to stop if they were overstepping their bounds. When nothing was said and all was done, Kagerou hugged Lahlil, face besides hers and hand patting soothingly upon the very small back of the other woman.
It wasn't like she was surprised. A small, slender body. Fluffy hair that looked like clouds in a lazy afternoon sky. Emotive eyes that shined bright and revealed recklessly to the world emotions of all kinds. The hokage was someone who looked soft and easy to break, and such vulnerable appearances were the easiest to bring down guards. Every ninja sought information, and such a body was particularly adept at extracting it.
It wasn't like she didn't understand. She was a foreign kunoichi who may have been privy to sensitive information on the kage. It would be hard to hold her down, and infinitely more favorable to read her mind discreetly. She could see the reasons the kage would have.
It also wasn't like she held any grudges. She could understand why the hokage would do such a thing. Moreover, Kagerou had chosen of her own free will to drop her guard, and she knew the potential consequences of doing so. She knew and she had made the necessary mental preparations. Lahlil learned nothing of importance and the Kiritani kunoichi had lost nothing of importance.
Though mind reading was something she could not tolerate freely, that could always be said later. Her family's secrets may have been of utmost importance, but such a thing was not so easy to convey in only a few words.
Right now, her gut told her that the hokage needed someone. Every word she had used to attack Kagerou carried a bitterness too old to have been conceived from a mind reading only moments before. Her bitter remarks had been folded and sharpened for months, maybe years. The green-haired psychiatrist did not need to force open minds to see that Lahlil had also spoken of herself, and if that was the case, then it was a fair exchange of information. Therefore, Kagerou had lost nothing. On the other hand, something didn't sit right with her about the hokage. Something had broken or changed. To harden was a common inevitability in the shinobi world, but for one to harden without even knowing the softness of love was too pitiful.
"Though... I do wish her multiple personalities would at least end their sentences differently. Ah... but I guess something like that might be even weirder to do?"
[61 sentences]
Evanescently Magnificent
Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2020 12:49 pm
The change happened before anything else. To an onlooker, the differences would be minute, change in her posture, a steadiness in her hand, and the deepness in her eyes becoming flat and closed off. Ferrah forced herself in control just in time to feel the electric shock of Kageoru's touch. Muscles stiffened in response, a reaction that was so violent that its choking grasp could have been mistaken for a hand clasping around her throat. Was it always this hard to breathe? That was a question she found herself asking more and more lately.
Gradually, the held moment of affection withered away this tension until Ferrah relented by slumping into the embrace. Not in a way that was unsimilar to the green-haired kunoichi, Ferrah answered matter of factly, reciprocating the gesture while withholding the warmth commonly placed behind it. Guilt screamed at her from a life devoid of such contact, for even going this far. "This wasn't the response I was excepting." A pause hung on her lips. She could already tell that she had gotten the tone wrong. Deception, subtlety, all the things that traditionally made a ninja had never been Ferrah's strong suit; she existed quite literally as a shield and nothing more. "Not that I'm complaining, but I need to- No, not need to, I want to apologize. I overstepped my boundaries, and you deserve more respect than that."
A pause filled with uncertainty left Ferrah unsure of the line between the appropriate and inappropriate length of physical contact to be. Slight whispers of breath signaled the continual break and re-connection of their touch while the woman tried to read when Kageoru had decided she was finished with her. "I allowed myself to fall into an unbecoming situation over the death of my mother." One breath, an exhale that boarded on the verge of a sigh, could have sucked the room dry for all its glibness. The only words spoken with any palpable emotion at all were a hasty estimation of what Ferrah thought sincerity was supposed to be; delivered in just a way to shift attention to Kageoru.
"Do you mind if we start this whole thing over? If you could ask anything... or if there is some way I can- you know what I mean. Please allow me to do something for you, preferably as myself and not the Hokage. Besides, can you imagine provoking your doctor right before surgery?" Ferrah remarked in a sober tone. Had Kageoru not broken their hug by now, she likely wouldn't be able to tell from Ferrah's awkward smile that she had meant a joke. Although, the truth of it was probably some equal parts of humor and paranoia. "Or maybe I shouldn't worry about it from someone who seems to have spent much of their time helping others." Thinking better of herself, Farrah quickly added. "That wasn't a mind-reading. You just come off as professional."
"It was not like I came unprepared," Kagerou assured ambiguously, "How ironic, that though we are in Konohagakure, I feel as if I have more support than the Hokage herself does." Only after saying these two sentences did she unlink her arms from around the hokage, leaving her alone once more. Eyes staring askew at the hokage, she considered her next words as those crimson orbs unwittingly bore into the others pale globes. "Would you want to start it over if I didn't mind?" she asked, "It wasn't the smoothest, but I'm glad I learned what I did of you from it."
A chuckle broke the end of her question, giving Lahlil no room to reply and, indeed, the kunoichi had not meant for the other party to give an answer to the question. What had happened, had happened. Rather than regret, it was best to make the best of it.
Her voice shifted to another topic as easily as a skilled singer shifts key, "About right now, what you said about not mind reading, I know it wasn't. This time, I would have noticed if you had tried once again." She trusted Lahlil now, but only because Lahlil had tested her once already, and now, she was on the alert. Her chakra senses now activated with one of the myriad rings of the bells upon her wrist, she sensed no abnormal techniques from the woman as of late.
With a short exhale, the doctor straightened up and stood before the hokage. "I would like to assure you that I did not spend years studying and working in the medical field only to become petty after a little bit of play~" the kunoichi assured, her voice lilting ever so lightly as it playfully rounded each word spoken. She'd grown fonder of the woman before her in this short time, a weakness she knew well yet still could not help.
Had it been the slow erosion over time? Or perhaps something specific? Like the hug? Or the mention of the death of her mother? Perhaps even the apology just now or the offer to "do something"? She made no indication. She kept mum on her thoughts and personal matters.
However, to be comfortable, to be willing to help, was not the same as to be close. "I would only request of you what I would request of anyone. Please take care of yourself." Peering down with half-hooded eyes, the words lingered in a silent pause before new ones came forth to efface their initial meaning. "We will be performing the implantation method now. Taking care of yourself is vital as I did not have the time to prepare the specimen fully. Now, the only thing left is... Please let me know, on a scale of one to ten, how mentally stable you feel right now? Since your implant comes from a blood relative, I do not foresee any physical complications, but occasionally, especially implants with close connections to the new host, the chakra react unpredictably with fluctuating mental rhythms. In layman's terms, if you need time to calm down, please tell me now so that we may postpone the procedure."
[33 sentences]
Evanescently Magnificent
Posted: Sat Jan 16, 2021 6:15 pm
tabGuarded and polite, Ferrah sat in place in the much the same way that Kageoru had not but a few moments ago. Tuffs of platinum blonde hair fell messy about her face as she gave a curt nod as acceptance to the kunoichi's offer of starting anew. She was, for the most part, more than happy to allow Kageoru to steer the conversation. "Oh? Well, I don't know if I should feel glad that I am not the only patient that's tried to take advantage of you, or if I should feel sorry that you go through this on a regular basis." Her smirk was light, barely enough to exist on her lips, but hopefully, it was enough to be noticed. The last thing that Ferrah wanted was to approach her earlier meddling as if it were some secret to be forgotten for all eternity. Approaching personal failures in a way that undercut the severity of them had always felt the only true path to healing in her mind. "Although, apart of me does find jealousy in the kind of attention that would bring. I imagine you have many interesting acquaintances, no? At the very least, it's one step above meeting with endless bureaucrats. You shall have to teach me your impressive talent for remaining so perfectly levelheaded, I think."
With a motion as delicate as her continued smile, Ferrah broke her awkward eye contact so that she could readjust her position to a more comfortable recline. "No, you shouldn't need to worry over sake. I've been taking care of myself ever since I was a child. I think I shall be fine."Now, if only speaking of having confidence could make it so. Ferrah thought, sighing to herself. Just the thought of that devil's blood entering her body—becoming apart of her, left a stinging in her cheeks. It's fine. It's just another weight to bear. Truing to turn his mind from the implantation, Ferrah instead threw herself into attempts at a conversation. "Did you ask because you are curious about me? Why I lost before and now seem so cool? It's alright if you're curious." As blunt as she could be, Ferrah had always hated having to waltz around subjects, trying to squeeze information out. Here now, at what felt like the end of her rope, Ferrah did not mind being so open.
"Talent cannot be taught," Kagerou made small talk as she receded to return to her notes, where she took note of Lahlil's condition, "But perhaps later I could give some tips I was taught when younger." Did she think they would ever talk about this again? No, not really, but neither was it a promise she would have difficulty upholding if it came to it. Openness was met with openness, but considering her profession and the matter of their conversation, she retained some professional demeanor, "Regarding the topic of your mental state. I did ask because of it, yes, but as I explained, it was for the purpose of the implant. I am not unfamiliar with the various methods a mind copes with trauma, and I would recommend, for the sake of your safety, that you keep such talks with your therapist. It is important to keep in mind that I am a stranger and foreigner." Though she placed the distance all the same, at least she explained her concerns this time. Could this be called progress? I think so? Honestly, I don't know because it's been so long THANKS TO SOMEONE.
Returning to the matter at hand, Kagerou dipped her head in acquiescence, nonetheless, "However, that being said, as you continue to assist, I will ask the nurses to get the transplant ready." She moved to the door, but before opening it, turned around one last time to ask, "If there is anything further you would like to talk about, please ask now."
[14 sentences]
Evanescently Magnificent
Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2021 2:23 pm
tabThere it was again, that flicker—no, that struggle to keep detached, almost in a way that seemed to conflict with her words. A medic who to understands physiological trauma and still wishes to distance themselves then? The curiosity Kageoru represented to her was enough to force a chuckle through her nose. How dutiful it was—to try and respect the boundaries that separated them as two opposing kunoichi. If it's like this, then I wonder... just how much she struggles with expressing her emotions. Are we similar in that regard?"Mm. A stranger and a foreigner? That is all anyone is to me anymore." Ferrah answered, taking the medic's statement literally. "I did not offer knowledge of myself so freely because I expect to become friends—or even acquaintances for that matter. I did it—because I offer the information voluntarily—to anyone who but asks. If you need to hide any part of yourself, then it is because that part has the power to destroy or hurt you. And I am not weak as such." Resting her head back on the examination couch, Ferrah waved her acceptance that she was ready to proceed with the operation. Eyes closed for the first time in days while the kage simply relaxed her body.
"What a lonely life," Kagerou thought to herself as she stepped gracefully through the hospital hallways. After giving a smile to Lahlil's last words, the green haired medic had smiled and left. The woman stretched her hands in front of her, "And a reckless one."
The trip to and from the labs to get the prepared sample was uneventful. There was nothing to make an event of, or rather, nothing that Kagerou or any of those related to her wished to show themselves making an event of.
About ten minutes later, a soft knock on the door of Lahlil's examination room would herald the doctor's return. The door would open shortly after, and Kagerou would reappear with a metal tray, upon which multiple needles and other supplies were arranged. "I hope," Kagerou teased lightly, "That you're not afraid of needles?". Her eyes peered curiously at the lady upon the examination bed, wondering which personality she would be faced with now.
