Teens-4-Christ: Senselessness within a contradiction

[PickleBoy]

I think someones posted that site before... And while Lambuel is a cute little lamb (D'awww) I wonder what three year old would be trolling the net for that.  

[hachimitsugirl]

Ha! I totally signed up for it.

Sneak attacks are imminent.  

[Meirelle]

LadyDarcia

I've got a site that's even better...

http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/

OMFG I remember that site! My roommate in college discovered it a couple years ago.

I love this part:

If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood,
TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

You may be moved to try and witness to
these poor lost souls yourself, however
AVOID TALKING TO THEM!

Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them. rofl  

[Theophrastus]

As posted elsewhere by me, bring it.

BRING THE PAIIIINNN!!  

[Six Billion of Spades]

From the Objective Ministries site...

Quote:

Jesus wants us to be hot for Him

eek eek eek eek

What this seems to indicate is that the site is advocating not only a personal relationship with Jesus, but also a very sexual one. But what about the little boys? That opens a whole new realm of possibility... maybe Jesus is bi? Or maybe he just gives the little boys a Boston steamer and moves on down the line. eek

Quote:

If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood,
TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

You may be moved to try and witness to
these poor lost souls yourself, however
AVOID TALKING TO THEM!

Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.

Jesus Christ on a stick... some satire just writes itself... after reading that, and looking at the Professor Giraffenstein thing, I'm convinced that the purpose of Objective Ministries is to satirize fundamentalist Christianity and how childlike it is (hence all the kid-friendly stuff). Just look at this if you're not convinced (from the Anti-Occult page), and pay special attention to the bold phrases:

Quote:

Target inc. have stopped allowing the Salvation Army to collect money outside their stores this Christmas season. This sudden change in policy was done in the name of "fairness" to other charities, but we are starting to suspect that Target has been infiltrated by anti-Christian forces bent of subverting salvific organizations and Christianity in general.

Case in point: OBJECTIVE cult expert Dr. Troy Franklin has discovered that Target has started to offer for sale Anton LaVey's Satanic Bible. Dr. Franklin informs us this "Bible" is really a cryptic manual for overthrowing Western Christian culture and eventually sacrificing Christian babies to demons. The book is given a 3.5 out of 5 star rating on the Target web site, with reviewers actually complaining that it is "not extreme enough" and that Mr. LaVey has a "good basis" but that he "took what had been a brutal cult ritualistic religon, and toned it down for the avg. 13 yr old" [sic] -- yes, that came from a pro-Satanism review! (Also note how Target's hellish red logo is eerily similar in general form to the pentagrammic cover illustration on the "Bible." Is this merely a coincidence?)

We are only left to wonder just what sort of people frequent Target stores? Certainly not us any longer!

 

[Six Billion of Spades]

Oh, and might want to check this out too.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/

Quite obviously satire. Freehold, Iowa doesn't exist.  

[Theophrastus]

Haha, I remember getting SO pissed at that page, long ago.

Then I was all, "oh ...wtf. lulz."  

[Zwiebelsaft!]

♠ "The Great Flood: Did it really kill dinosaurs?" rofl

That topic just made me laugh. I need to bookmark this site for a day when I feel like s**t. lol ♠  

[Fuzzy Kittens]

Found this in the "Dating" section:

"At the point of marriage, the man becomes the head of a new home. Ladies, in God’s order, are always subject to someone. I’m sorry ladies, but that is God’s rule. A lady will always be under her parents (specifically her father) or her husband. "

Lol, sorry lay-deez! Good thing this site doesn't support humans having a sense of self, or else you'd be feeling pretty worthless right about now! =D  

[Arios V]

ZeeFishee

Found this in the "Dating" section:

"At the point of marriage, the man becomes the head of a new home. Ladies, in God’s order, are always subject to someone. I’m sorry ladies, but that is God’s rule. A lady will always be under her parents (specifically her father) or her husband. "

Lol, sorry lay-deez! Good thing this site doesn't support humans having a sense of self, or else you'd be feeling pretty worthless right about now! =D

According to the Bible (Or the way it affected society) Women were considered the lowest of the low, they were supposed to be seen, but never heard, told to raise the family and do all the chores of the house. In some cases they were portrayed as whores or the "evil" ones in society. Personally, I think this is a load of crap  

[freak0592]

This was in one of their siggs:


Now, is it me, or are they trying to use fluffy ponies to make their points more appealing to children...ALSO! I REALLLY wanna say this to them:

"NICE JOB, YOU KILLED GOD!!! SMOOTH MOVE; MURDERS, ALL OF YOU!!!"

*rolls eyes* They say it right there, "HE DIED", so he is obviously not with you...morons...

It is just...crap...I hate those kind of sites. They have kids come together to discus something they THINK they choose and want...*sigh* Why can't the kids of today think like us? In fact, why can't they think at all? Cause they obviously don't...

People always ask me, "Wouldn't you be happier with God in your life?"
And I reply, "No, thank you, I prefer to think for myself."
They usually either A) Try to talk me into thinking they DO think for themselves; or B) Tell me I'm going to Hell (they don't understand the whole "Atheist" thing, do they...?)

Yeah, so, I would just like to say that, if these are the leaders of tomorrow, you better hope for a quick ending to life as we know it, cause things are going down...(not to sound like a downer, but these kids CAN'T rule our world...It is asking for the end, basically.)  

[freak0592]

SORRY FOR THE DOUBLE POST!!! I JUST FOUND THIS, AND NEEDED TO SHOW YOU ALL XDDDD



(sorry for the bad edit...I did it fast XD)

Yeah, I have a comment: Kill yourselves. Both of you.

To the first moron: OF COURSE WE ARE RELATED TO PRIMATES, YOU STUPID HOMO SAPIEN! We are only two chromosomes away from the genome of any of the great apes, and it is proven how this happened. It is a known fact we evolved from primates, they need to get with the times...

On the topic of the "zoo" question: We EVOLVED a more developed brain, capable of thinking. We cant be in the zoo...CAUSE WE CREATED THE ZOO, YOU TART. If we are supposed to be in zoos, the zoo would never have been created. We are capable of advanced thinking and such, so we are not going to put ourselves on display for ourselves to see...

Now, on to the second "genius":...I would first like to point out the "adult" status...Next, WHAT ARE YOU ON?! EVOLUTION!? RUBBISH?! HELLLLLL NO! UNTIL YOUR "KINGDOM COMES", YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT RUBBISH, GOT IT?!?!


...Okay, I'm all better now...  

[Arios V]

As I keep saying, Evolution makes hell of a lot more sense than Creationism. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out we evolved from apes. Just look at the similarities, both ours and an apes bone structures and Chromosome patterns are practically the same. both the apes and us (along with a few other animals) are also capable of using tools and our environment to solve problems. However, the best proof, is the undeniable fossil records, Homo Sapiens have been around for many thousands of years before God created humanity. Not to mention many civilizations had already been set up and were in fact flourishing way before the time God supposedly created man.

Now to strike an extra blow to Creationism, suppose we were created by a God, and Adam & Eve were the ONLY two human he created. According to the Bible, Adam & Eve had two children: Cain & Able, both of which were male. Now according to my calculations, the only way they could have made more humans was by the biological way, and that would mean that either of them would had to have had intercourse with their Mom and later, their female offspring. This of course is called Inbreeding (As well as Incest). Now if I remember correctly, that would mean that over time humanity would begin to appear less and less like we do today (By now, we wouldn't even look like we do now.) and we would in fact all be related to each other by blood.

Sorry for the length of the rant, but I just had to say it.... again  

[Dissnitive Blade]

"A refuge for Christian teens and preteens to communicate"

Do these people really have that much of a persecution complex that they title it a "refuge"? Religion is fine and all, but not when it reaches this level of hypocrisy, propaganda, and extremism. I find a lot of similarity between those website and the peta websites.  

[[fi]ona]

aaahhhhh! scaaaaaary!