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niph... WOW!!!! I loved that!
Here's something from a joint project two friends and I did at a party since our parents were playing poker:
Stupid Story 3/The Yell of the Wild
This is a stupid story, I do not know why I am telling this story to anybody besides my self, but basicly this story is about a dog named Buck(No connection to The Call of the Wild) who has a nice kind home to live in.
However, I think that title's already been taken, so... I guess we'll change the title (The Yell of the Wild) why not? And since Buck is going to be copyrighted, let's use Dollar instead. As for the nice home, he better have not have copyright on that.
ANYWAYS, as I was saying........Dollar had a nice and comfy home where he got plenty of food and warmth. Then, one day, his owner couldn't take care of him anymore. Poor Dollar. Now, he's on the street scavenging for food. How sad.
As Dollar wondered among the barren pirate town, there were the usual "Argh"s and "I will run ye through with me cutlass"s, then appeared a man who gazed at Dollar with wild curiosity, and retrieved a club from his bag intent on capturing and selling Dollar.
So he was sold for exactly one Dollar. I wonder why? That was including tax. He was pissed that he was such a cheap thing. >.< Then there was the fork that he totally hated and Dollar, for his pains, was renamed Dime. That's short for "a dime a dozen".
Miraculously, he managed to survive on scraps of meat and crap. One day, he found his owner and was sooo happy except his owner didn't recognize him which was too bad because his owner got rich off a lottery card. It was too bad for him and he decided he would kill himself.
But/However/I don't know why as he went toward the docks to drown himself, he was suddenly met by a young sea captain by the name of Captain von Beuren, this captain befriended Dime and was kind to him, they lived happily for many sailling years, until a pirate boarded the ship and "Ran ye through with me cutlass".
Then he just got mad. Oh yes he did, he got as mad as a fripperous tiger without a necklace. Grabbing the cutlass in his jaws he "Ran ye through with me cutlass" and the bats swarmed over truffle hogs and hedgepigs. The crew flew like angels, or sank like demons.
I prefer sank like demons. BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!!!!!! but that's ENOUGH with the pirates. Dime actually survived by SOME miracle of God. He swam back to shore like the dog that he is and got really really mad. Two weeks after that "little" incident, he was once again taken by a kind and loving owner. KIND AND LOVING PEOPLE!!!!!!! DO NOT CHANGE THAT!!!!!
However, unknown to Dime, this new owner was actually a dreaded pirate who is known for "Running ye through with me cutlass!" Who every other week excluding the second week of each month hunts down other merchant shipping and privateers. He also often jokes, "I forgot me pencil for the drinking contest!"
"Arf...grrrf! Ruff ruff!! *snarl* grr..." What else do you expect a dog to say anyway? Dime was sadly renamed Penny. It was worse than humiliating! First of all, they skipped Nickle, and Penny's a girl's name. Every time someone yells "Hey Penny" he feels like half of who he is.
Poor Penny. The only reason why he is still living now is because he wants to prove to the world that no matter what evil they throw at him, he shall overcome!!!!!!!! After the years, he started to toughen up a bit and got an eyepatch (happy kefu?) like a pirate. He started to think, act, and be a pirate, which is a bit strange considering he's a dog. One day he was eating leftover donuts when suddenly he was attacked by flesh eating ferrets. And that's when he saw the love of his life. The first thing she said to him was, "Hey, you got ferrets on your face" (in dog language of course) and he knew it was love!!! Then his love died when a knife was thrown astray. Too bad, too bad.....
But all was not lost for the poor dog, no longer a landlubber but a sea farer. His fortunes were to take a lucky turn when he attacked a dread pirate with a cutlass and freed King George III from the pirate. He was named Pound(I think it is worth more than a dollar and more than an euro), and the landlubber(King), kept him as his personal pet, until the American Revolution...
"Or rurofuf... or rurofuf... gruffere ruff yip rurofuf... greffuf ref ref erf greferf efferf, ref grufferefuf ruf yipyip ruff!" Another stupid rip off of Shakespeare. Pound sang of his lost love and lost track of his surroundings. Caught unaware, he was captured and renamed six-pence. "Sing a song of six=pence, ,a pocket full of rye. A really big dog was going to die."
So now, Six-pence was feeling a little under the weather so he decided to take a break from everything and go to......MARS!!!!!!! yes, Mars. Of course, he made sure he was wearing his emergency doggy space suit he carries with him everywhere. When he got to Mars, he thought he would get a tan so there he was, sitting with sunglasses and sipping a martini, can't you just imagine that? What HE didn't know was, that there were some unwelcome visitors, watching him....pirate aliens......
(History) Space pirate battles lasted for another 150 years, then came the "bends" a disease which wiped out all non-pirate beings(I wonder why, maybe the authors are pirates in disgueses.) "There was a "Argh, Argh," here and a "Argh, Argh," there, and "Argh, Argh, Argh, Argh," everywhere!" (That was a song, can you guess what song?)
Ole man space monkey had a ship, oye ay oye ay argh! Okay, shutting up about that. Space pirate apparantly are very crunchy, as six-pence found out. He grew to have a certain taste for it and he began to hunt them down one by one. If a whole fleet went down, you know six-pence was there not long ago.
While Six-pence's devouring pirates, let's finish that song shall we? Ole man space monkey had a ship, oye ay oye ay argh! And on that ship he had a pirate dog (can you guess who?), oye ay oye ay argh! with a argh argh here and argh argh there, here argh, there argh, everywhere a argh argh, ole man space monkey had a ship, oye ay oye aye argh! and on this ship he had a space duck, oye aye oye aye argh!! with a wark wark here and a wark wark there, here wark there wark everywhere a wark wark, ole men weirdos own no farms, AYE ARGH AYE ARHG HOOOOOOO!!!!!+
Also WHILE Six-pence is devouring pirates, a supreme commander of the police promoted and renamed him to Credits(which is the current currency unit of the universe). A policeman was also training him, this policeman is named Captain von Voltage, he is very experienced and had a sound pirate accent which no landlubber can match. He also uses a special cutlass (almost the same as a lightsaber) to "Slice ye head off ye shoulder with me wide, broad cutlass."
Credit was quickly promoted to supercredit, megacredit, then hypercredit for the fact that he had a certain talent for killing pirates in the flick of an eye. He learned how to use the lightsaber and the better than the best knights there were. He was renowned and infamous, a terror of the wormholes, a fear of the nebulas, a nightmare from the galaxy next door!
Anyways, he was very impressed with Six-pence's thirst for alien blood and decided to adopt him. He thus gave him the name Sirius after the dog star. And lo and behold, Captain von Voltage and his amazing dog, Sirius!!!! which was a best seller to all the little earthlings, turning their brains into mush. BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAAAA!!!! finally, Dollar made a difference to the world!! BY DESTORYING IT!!!!!
It was a cold day in space (all days are cold I think), Captain von Voltage suddenly yelled, "Avast! To the starboard side, a expanding black hole!" Siruis oodlust and treasurelust sored, letting his anger possess him, and used the bad side of the to destroy the world! But before he ended the world, he had an offspring, Hypercredit, who lived through even as the next world was created by the .
The multiverse keeps a poetic verse, a carriage to serve as a universe herse.
The time will fly, and universe die, too many universes will weep and cry.
Here the light, into night, a dollar and six pense destroy in a fight.
Beyond the uber, the mega super, a hypercredit chews on a tuber... (WTF ^^)
And thus, the sad yet touching tale of a story from about a dog that started out as a dog, and ended up as a...dog...so this whole story was pointless and time wasting. wonderful. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
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