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Prof. Moonie

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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 12:56 pm


	I'm back. goes back to listening to the Toy Story 3 soundtrack again

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 1:13 pm


	Alright, I'm going to do some more Summer cleaning of my wardrobe while I'm waiting for new posts in the RP.

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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 1:29 pm


	Finished with the one drawer that I started going through. Probably got rid of about a 1/3 of what I had in there. I'm glad that all of my swimsuits still fit me. smile

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 1:58 pm


	Finished looking through my shirts, and had to arrange them a bit, since some everyday shirts were hidden behind some holiday themed shirts and other random shirts. So I had to move them so I'm more likely to wear them, heh. Now I'll have to go through my skirts. 3nodding It's nice doing this wardrobe cleaning.

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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:07 pm


	goes to go through her skirts

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:21 pm


	Woot! Done with my wardrobe cleaning! biggrin Now to do other stuff to keep me entertained.

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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:45 pm


	Hmm... I'm thinking of doing a doll... though not sure of what at this time...

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:59 pm


	Meh... I don't know what I want to doll... and already I can tell that my brief moment of wanting to doll has gone away. thinks

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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 3:10 pm


	Hmm... I'm going to go watch Toy Story 1 & 2. So talk to you later.

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:24 pm


	I'm back. Didn't even finish Toy Story (1) because I was getting annoyed with it constantly stopping and skipping and what not. I'll have to let Dad know about it. sighs

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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:26 pm


	On another note... I got a response from the Writing Center about my paper. To be totally honest, I really don't like the Writing Center thing at all. I feel that all it is is a bunch of critique that makes you feel worse and worser about your paper as you continue to read their e-mail. sighs

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:28 pm


	Anyway... I'm going to work on making a 2.0 version of my rough draft based on what the tutor said. And then send another e-mail to the Writing Center, because I so do not want to include the original response with my rough draft. It just seems darn right rude. Especially when she goes on about the whole "so what?" - HELLLLOOOOO! It's right there in the bloody thesis! And then goes on about how she can't figure out how each of the texts are connected with each other. Did you even read the paper? Or did you just browse through it? Honesty. stressed

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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:31 pm


	I'll go paragraph by paragraph through the tutor's response and respond to the things she's said. Maybe it'll help me better with how to get the whole message across better in my actual essay. sighs

Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:33 pm


	Thank you for submitting your paper to the Online Writing Lab. While the paper has some good foundational ideas, there are some organizational and structural issues that should be addressed to strengthen the paper. You're welcome. stare Glad that you consider my ideas good... but I don't know what organization or structural issues you're talking about. It seems to flow quite nicely for me.

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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:36 pm


	Initially, I found the introduction to the paper confusing. Though the short narrative piece is well done, it doesn’t fit well with the academic tone of the paper and does not alert the reader to the fact that this is going to be an academic paper. Additionally, the introduction needs to be strengthened. The introductory paragraph needs to let the reader know exactly what to expect for the rest of the paper. If the paper is going to deal with wolf-myths and the Quileute tribe and how these ideas relate to issue in Fools Crow, Twilight, and Power, then this needs to be in the introductory paragraph. The introductory paragraph also needs to answer a “so what?” question. What makes this topic important, worth writing about, or worth reading about? How do all of these ideas come together, and what is their significance. This should be the topic of the thesis statement. Additionally, you want to make sure that each of your paragraphs clearly ties back to the thesis statement in a way that is concise and straightforward for the reader. Okay, I can agree with the fact that the beginning of my introduction didn't seem like an academic paper, but more of a fictional story. So I can work on getting rid of that part. Hmm... I do mention about wolf-myths and the Quileute tribe... but I guess I should include information about the other texts. As for the "so what?" - I already addressed that in the thesis. rolleyes

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