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Saying the same thing back to the doctor, she then closed the door the moment he went through it and sighed with relief. It was about time he was gone. Leaning against the door for a moment, she then decided to go back up the stairs to change into something that wasn't so tight and get something to drink as well to help the sickness pass. She noticed one of the maids watching her which made her frown slightly but she knew why they were concerned.. she just didn't want them to pass it around the house.

As for her passionate hatred for doctors.. or perhaps it was fear she wasn't quite sure and in the end it didn't matter to her. It was the same thing that had made her fearful of some of her memories and which now made her sick to her stomach. It was surprising that she didn't hate the whole male gender after that.. nope, instead she only hated doctors. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, she knew that but that was only because she had been able to escape. Shaking her head, she noticed that Brandon was turned away from her. Placing a gentle hand against his arm, she looked up at him. Sighing softly, she then walked past him, headed for the stairs.

He was angry with her.. or something along those lines. She could see it. In the end she couldn't blame him, he didn't know about her past, or at least not a lot of it. Brandon probably knew about her mother's death. After all there was a family portrait of all of them.. and then one with just her mother that her father had. Closing her eyes, she reached the top of the stairs after a while and was slightly surprised to see Brandon following her. He could have easily gone to his room.. it wasn't like she forced him to be with her all the time and she wouldn't put him through torture either.

Sighing, she opened the door and went through it into her dark room. She left it open as she went to the armchair that was next to the dresser that happened to have a mirror on top of it. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she wrapped her arms around them, her eyes glued to the door for the moment. It seemed like one moment they were slightly closer.. and then they were back to where they started. One step forward, two steps back. It would take forever for them to get anywhere.. but she was willing to wait that long.. Then again, he cared for her but he didn't love her. It was just friendship for him.. but even now she wasn't so sure he thought that way.

He was her only friend that she had in a long time. Sure she talked to the cook whenever she got the chance but that was it. And now.. it seemed like she was losing him too. Lowering her gaze, she closed her eyes briefly. "You're not happy with me." she could sense it when she was downstairs and it was still there. Letting out a shaky sigh, she then looked back over at him. "I know that it would be best to go see a doctor and figure out what's wrong.. that type of thing, but I already know what it is. Going to see him will only make it worse." her voice was soft, she didn't want to argue with him, she just wanted to tell him. Maybe he didn't even care anymore.

"Look.. if you don't want to be here right now, you can leave. I'm not holding you here. You're obviously angry with me and I understand why.. or at least I think I do.. but I'm not going to call the doctor back here." she found comfort in his presence though.. not that he would know that. Getting up, she walked over to the window and pulled the curtain back slightly as she pressed her forehead against the warm glass. She debated on whether she should tell him or not.. what had happened so many years ago. She had never spoken of it before though.. besides, what would he think of her then? He probably was edgy as it was around her ever since her confession and now he was angry as well.

Her fingers gently tapped against the glass and she opened the window, letting the fresh air in. The wind blew the dark curtains back as well as her hair. Her hands held the window open for a moment before she set them down on the sill, her eyes closing after a moment. Perhaps it was best to just push people away.. then they wouldn't bring her more pain later on.

She had wanted to give him freedom, but he had run off because of that. She didn't know what he wanted anymore. Sighing softly, she closed her eyes and stayed silent and the wind died down to a soft breeze. Hearing his footsteps, she thought he was leaving but she soon realized that he was ..coming closer? But why? Her expression became slightly confused as she opened her eyes. Seeing his hands placed not too far from her own, she then looked outside once more. It was beautiful. Sure, the summer heat was killing her but she could live with it. They had clean water after all. Sensing the fact that he was looking at her, she turned slightly and looked over at him, her eyes meeting his own.

So many things had happened today, one of the more significant was her confession to him. A light shiver crawled all over her skin. His voice was still fresh in her mind and she longed to hear it again, she really did but now that seemed impossible. Her eyes were filled with lots of different emotions.. hope and pain at the same time. Why had she given away her heart so quickly? She trusted him. Her eyes closed and she turned back to the window. He would find someone he loved... raise his own family, she had to give him that chance and perhaps the masquerade would help him with that. Violetta let out a sigh. Things never seemed to work out.. did they? Biting her lower lip, she then brushed a strand of her hair away from her face.

What now? What was she supposed to do? She had to let go of him. Unless he wanted it to work out.. but he didn't love her to begin with. Her fingers tightened slightly on the edge of the sill. "What do you want to do with your life?" she asked him, her voice low. Whatever he wanted to do, she would make sure it could become a reality. It was the least he could do after all. Keeping her eyes open now, she looked at the cherry tree that now had a few bright red fruits hanging from some of it's upper branches.

He seemed to give her question some thought which in the end was a good thing. Lowering her head, she swallowed briefly and took a few steps back before turning around and walking up to the dresser, barely catching the look that he gave her. Opening one of the drawers, she pulled out a journal that was bound with letter and had a good hundred pages in it. Taking out a white quill as well, she then walked up to him. The journal had a lock on it, it was small but it would give him some privacy and she had put the only keys to it on top of the journal. Keeping her eyes down, she then spoke. "You were able to read my note.. that I was leaving home. That must mean you're able to write as well." handing him everything that she had, as well as a small bottle of ink, she then took a small step back. "It's yours.. write in it whatever you want." It would be a way for him to speak without really opening his mouth.

Even though she longed for him to speak again, she knew that he probably wouldn't any time soon. Closing her eyes she then moved back over to the window and closed half of it so the breeze wasn't as strong as before. One of the kittens jumped up onto the sill and Violetta smiled slightly, petting the top of it's head. They were probably hunting already. Glancing over at Brandon she hoped that he liked the gift. He had never really expressed an interest in writing but then again he had never really had paper around her. Perhaps today would be a good day to go out into the market. Sure she wasn't feeling one hundred percent better yet but she wanted to make it up to him. He probably got bored around her as it was. Besides, she could give him some money and he could buy whatever he wanted on his own though the collar on his neck gave away the fact that he was a slave. Frowning slightly she felt the urge to take it off, he had already permanently been labeled in another way.

It still made her wonder if her father had known about that when he brought Brandon here as a companion for her. "May I take off your collar?" she asked him, taking a few steps towards him. It had always bothered her but now she just couldn't stand it anymore. Why did he have to have it? He was a human being just like she was and yet she didn't have to wear that. Looking at him with her two different colored eyes for some kind of response, she couldn't help but wonder what he thought of her for a simple moment.

Confusion was apparent on his face. It seemed like he never understood most of her actions and she never really provided him with answers. She knew he wouldn't ask, at least not now but she did hope that he would speak again in the future. Closing her eyes briefly, she then watched as he eyed the journal for a bit. Was he happy with it? She couldn't quite tell but he wasn't setting it aside, at least not yet. As much as he didn't understand her, she didn't understand him. She barely knew anything about him. The scars that she had seen on his back and chest told stories that she didn't know the words to. The brand on his thigh also said something else but it certainly didn't make him who he was.

Biting her lip, she watched as one of his hands went up and touched his collar, surprised. Was he going to say no? Rocking back onto her heels she waited quietly, wondering what was going on inside his mind. Even knowing the things he liked would make her happy. When he nodded, she slowly came up to him, realizing once again how much taller he was than her. Looking up at him, her head tilted back as she raised her hands, gently unbuckling it, her eyes focused on the collar rather than on him. Slowly slipping it off, her back of her fingers gently touched the pale skin. The skin that hadn't seen sunlight in years, a hint of sadness flashed in her eyes before she lowered her head and moved back, not sure if he wanted the collar or not so she just stood there, a few steps away from him.

Her fingers ran over the thick black leather of the collar, it definitely wasn't new. All she knew about his history was what he told her, which was pretty much nothing, and what she had seen, neither was enough information but she wasn't going to push her luck. "Do you want it?" she asked him, glancing up at him, waiting for his head to shake or nod depending on his answer.

He wasn't going to wear it anymore unless he decided that he wanted to but somehow she doubted that was going to happen. Why would he want it back on his neck? At the masquerade he would have probably needed to take it off anyway.. which reminded her she still needed to check who her father had put on that list. Probably all business partners and their families and their neighbors as well.

She had felt him tense up as she took it off. Did he think she was going to hurt him? She frowned at that thought. Violetta wanted anything but that. When it was finally off his neck though he seemed to relax. At least he was better now. She couldn't imagine how horrible it would be to wear it for so long. It wasn't exactly soft or clean for that matter and even if her father forced him to have a collar on, she would make sure it was much better than this one, perhaps a small necklace instead would do.

Getting his response, she then nodded her head. She would throw it out after this, she would have put it in the fire but it wasn't there at the moment due to the warm weather. "Do you want to go out into the market?" she asked him, it would keep her mind distracted as well from things that she didn't want to think about. "You can find something you like there and I'll get it for you." she told him, or she could simply give him a handful of gold coins. Leaning against the wall, she then turned her head briefly back towards the window before she went over and closed it completely, her eyes returning to him soon after.

She wanted him to be happy but she didn't know how to accomplish that. Sending him back home from where he had come from and caused him to run away from her which then reminded her of that crazed look Neil had given her. A chill ran down her spine. She didn't want to be around him anymore on her own. He had the look that someone else had worn long ago though Neil's wasn't as bad. She hoped that Brandon would never look at her that way, not in that crazy way.

What would happen if she ran into Neil once again though? Without anyone there? Her arms wrapped around her waist. She had never had anything against Neil until she had seen him come from nowhere by the creek. If Brandon hadn't showed up she didn't know how things would have ended. Sure she had assumptions but none of them were good. Telling her father about it also wasn't an option. She knew that he would be put back on the salve market and put into worse conditions.. she would definitely feel guilty for that.

He shrugged at first so she guessed he didn't care. Well then she would rather stay home but then again there was the threat of running into Neil here. Lowering her head for a moment she then looked at Brandon to catch him shake his head. She could see his reasoning for it so she didn't push it. The only thing was she couldn't give money to the other slaves, she didn't have enough gold coins to give to every single one of them if she misses one, she would feel horrible. Saving was definitely something she had done for a while and she would just have to continue with it.

Watching him come closer, she blinked when he placed his hand on her shoulder. He was frowning at her. What had she done this time? Seeing some concern on his face, she lowered her head and bit her lip, wanting to hug him but she didn't know if he would let her or even if he did, she doubted he would be comfortable with it. "What does Neil want from me?" she asked him, her voice quiet. She knew he wouldn't answer her. "You saw the way he.. the way he looked at me." she froze for a moment. "I don't understand.." she added before she finally raised her head and looked up at Brandon.

"What would he want from me?" she wasn't expecting an answer even though she really did want one. "He had this hungry look in his eyes." she whispered, leveling her head now before she closed her eyes. "What did I do to him?" Violetta bit her lip before swallowing once again. She didn't want to be alone in this house again, the image of the way Neil had looked at her now stuck in her mind even though she wanted to erase it.

She trusted Brandon, she didn't know why but she felt like he would keep her safe no matter what happened. Why though? Simply because she was his mistress? She hoped not. She wished for friendship if she could get that from him. Hopefully he wouldn't leave her.. at least not now.