Things Resident Evil characters would NEVER say

[NotteRequiem]

Wesker, to Ada: You know what? Take your time getting the sample of the Las Plagas... I'm going to go get a manicure just to pass the time. I've got centuries to wait for it.... Go on, go on a hot date with Leon. Just so long as I get the deets later on.  

[Celestial Fox Frenzi]

Half-Glass-Of-Sanity

This is my little scenario, hope you like.

*Chris, Jill and Rebecca are chillin when a hoard of zombies come out of nowhere.*

*they start shooting*

Chris: We don't have enough amo!

Jill: Our lives are at stake we'll MAKE enough amo!

Chris: Jill, doesn't make sense

Jill: Well maybe after all the horrible events that have happened to me I'm a little emotionally scarred therefore, impairing my ability to think logically.

Chris: I understand, so much has happened sinse the Spencer Estate.. I took all Whesker's picturs off my wall *sob* I miss him so much!

*continues shooting*

Jill: I don't like working for the S.T.A.R.S anymore it's to scary.... *sobs with Chris*

Rebecca: Holy crap you guys!!

Chris and Jill: What?

Rebecca: I think that guy might be a ZOMBIE!!

All: *GASP*

The end

rofl

Wesker: So go ahead? Pull the triggar.
*Chris pulls the hammer back as he aims at him*
Wesker: You know you want tooooo pull the trigga, so your head can go boom, GO BOOM! bu-buu-bu boom.
*Chris stops and looks at him oddly.*
Wesker: geez, your not even man enough to shoot me anymore? Ya know what, some one should glue your head to your butt so they may illustrate that you truly, indeed, suck a**.
*Chris shoots him*  

[Biohazard EXTREME]

Rebecca: Officially, Lieutenant Billy Coen is dead.

Billy: Yeah, I'm just a zombie now.

Rebecca: What!? You're a zombie!? *shoots*  

[Celestial Fox Frenzi]

Alfred: Alexia, can you help me with my math homework?
Alexia: Sure.
Alfred: Ok, what is this symbol? *He points to a + sign.*
Alexia: A plus sign, you use it to add.
Alfred: And what's that one? *He points to the = sign.*
Alexia: An equals sign, that shows what the answer.
Alfred: Oh ok, so then whats the answer to this, 2 + 2 = ...
Alexia: 4
Alfred: Ah of course! Thank you Alexia, some day I wanna be just like you!
Alexia: Ok, just as long as you don't dress like me or pretend to be me or something.
Alfred: Ok!  

[Kobo-chan]

Wesker: And that, ladies and gentlemen, I shall hold the world ransom for-!!

*camera zooms in on his face while Wesker sticks a pinkie on his lip*

Wesker: One hundred... billion... freakin'... *stutters as he looks to Ada*

Ada: *nods*

Wesker: ...Gajillion, million... zillion freakin' dollars!

*insert AP dramatic theme*  

[Pyrojunk]

Wesker: The T-Virus sucked! Glad someone made the Plagas. Much more creepy and can kill Chris and Leon. Finally!!!

Leon: Atleast they aren't zombies... stare

Chris: OMG the T-virus was easier than this gonk

Living Umbrella Worker: And now.....The Z-Virus!!!!  

[Celestial Fox Frenzi]

Chris: Well ok then... but just so you know... If you were gay, that'd be ok, cuz I'd still be here an-y-way, if you were queer, I'd still be here, because it's ok, that you are gay, but your not gay.
Wesker: O.o
Chris: I'm happy!! Just being with you!! So what should it matter to me with what you do in bed with guys!!
Wesker: What the hell!?
Chris: IF you were gay, I'd shout hooray! Because- *Gets shot by wesker*
Wesker: What the hell is wrong with you!!!
Birkin: Who was that hun?
Wesker: No one, go back to bed...

*I know I missed lines and probably said some wrond ones, I pulled this out the top of my head*  

[Byouma Neko]

Wesker: What does the G stand for?
Birkin: I don't know!  

[Biohazard EXTREME]

Wesker: What does the G stand for?

Birkin: G stands for, "Good Lookin."  

[Celestial Fox Frenzi]

Wesker: What doe the G stand for?

Birkin: God

Wesker: God?

Birkin: As in, people like you should mind they're own god damn business!  

[Biohazard EXTREME]

Didn't Capcom get in trouble with the religious nuts when RE2 came out and everyone thought that G did stand for God. So then Capcom had to say that it stood for "Gene"... I found this out few hours ago.  

[Byouma Neko]

Byouma Neko

Wesker: What does the G stand for?
Birkin: I don't know!

Please tell me you guys have noted this is in fact a Zim and Gir quote.  

[Byouma Neko]

Biohazard EXTREME

Didn't Capcom get in trouble with the religious nuts when RE2 came out and everyone thought that G did stand for God. So then Capcom had to say that it stood for "Gene"... I found this out few hours ago.

I refuse to aknowledge that there has been any official statement as to what G stands for. I'm happy with just G-Virus.  

[Biohazard EXTREME]

Yeah same here. But you know.. Press has to be satisfied.  

[Celestial Fox Frenzi]

Damn the religious nuts!

Anyway...

Wesker: I love you!
Ada: O.o
Leon: Ada, Wait! It's a trap!