Both characters actually feel very conditional. The first characters feels a little contradicting, someone who calls themselves a monster as if it's a bad thing and yet having no qualms with killing, whether if it's seemingly justified or not.
The second is not that bad, she has a set background and knows where she is, but it seems to dependent on another character instead of it being her own background. The other character should really be just a footnote, I want to know more about her own background, spread a little more about it. Father being a history thief and then it's not brought up again or explored. It leaves me thinking "What was that about??" and feels irrelevant. Or clarified on what it is, I'm confused on it. Did he steal from museums or did he time travel I don't know perhaps that's a story thing that I'm out of the loop in considering I haven't been here for years.
Personality wise, still seems conditional. But I do love the line "She knows what she's worth". Great statement, I approve of it.
That's my little review.
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2014 7:52 pm
I'm still working on it right now. Those are rough sketches really so I won't forget. Thank you for the advice, I'll keep that in mind.
Though for reviews could you make it simpler? I'm sorry, not really that smart and have a hard time understanding things.
Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2014 10:57 am
::Original Character (App Summoner)::
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Gaia Avatar: [Mods will do this.] Gaia Name:pikeru3617
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Name: Clara Lille Nicknames: Badboy17 Age: 28 Appearance: Hometown: Mont-Tremblant, Quebec, Canada Love Interest: There is one, but he is too stubborn to see. Personality: She is a strong woman that does not scare easily. However many people may take this as her being cocky and stuck up. Despite this, she can be very caring, however this is only to people that she trusts, So far the people that know this side of her are very few. One of the main reasons why she isn't afraid of most things is because she knows her worth.
That it would be useless to kill her as she holds lot of secrets that she won't even tell her closest friends. To many people, they find this unsettling. Those people are the ones that feel that way are mainly the ones that work with her. Even to people she meets or for clients, she gives off a feeling that she knows more than she is willing to give off.
Though thanks to her pin name, most people will assume that she is in reality a man and even more so with a machine that changes her voice to a man's voice when she is behind the scenes as back up. To her best clients, she will go further for them and doesn't mind taking high risk jobs, after all the more risk the job is, the more money she gets.
Is not a one to back down so easily and not above using blackmail to get what she is after. That is one of the things that makes her dangerous.
The creatures in her app, she has learned that she can trust them and one of the few that know how Clara really is. They protect her from danger and make sure her cover isn't blown.
Bio: She grew up in Canada, ever since she was little, she had a love of legends. Her father was a history thief and she didn't find out until much later on what he was he was doing. She still doesn't know how he got the art or who he stole it from as he was caught and is in jail for theft. She only found out about it after finding some art work that used to belong to museums and old coins in jars. She isn't sure why he stole the arts or what he had planned for them or if he just wanted them for the house.
When she turned 16, she started teaching herself on how to hack and taking small jobs. This helped her on getting hired by the same company that hired Ergo. That is how she learned how to talk street smart and began to know her worth. Most of her missions were behind the scenes and at a computer helping the person on the other side. Most of the people that work with her, still think she is a man thanks to the voice changing machine that she uses.
About a few weeks after Ergo was sent to Japan or rather Inaba, she was sent there as well. Though not without being told to meet with a man in Tokyo. It was there that she got a app for her phone that allows her to summon demons. After getting the app, she took the train to Inaba and that is where her story begins on a new mission. To see what is going on in Inaba, there were rumors going on that caught the ears of the higher ups. That was the main reason why she was sent there, also to provide back up for Ergo just in case.
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Summoner Data
Weapon: Hacker phone Fighting Style: Provides back up support Arcana: Alignment: True Neutral Location: Inaba
Contracted Demons: 1. Shadow Fox (Level 30 - Starter Demon. May be an original.) Dark Call, Resist Rage, Mincing Slice, Cruel Attack, Arms Master, Fatal Strike, Hell's Judgment, Judgment of Darkness
2. Death Saurer (Level 50+ - Final Demon. May be an original.) Invigorate 1, Life Surge, Heat Wave,Enduring Soul, Mafreidyne, Pralaya ,Heat Kaiser, [Restricted-level (With approval only)]
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Items Owned: -Hacker phone {Link via URL to the appropriate post; do not post the full description here}
Then I'll mention it. o wo)/ Uh, hey, Pikeru, it all looks okay, but Cu Chulainn (THAT particular Cu Chulainn, in fact), has actually been used in the guild already for something pretty specific.
So you'll need another image or demon for that. o wo b
Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2014 11:11 am
Figured, still working on it and working out the details. Changing that one soon.
That is a bit better. Still no need to add Ergo more than once. Also I think it's best to drop the line "To many people, they find this unsettling". Because for her to be so secretive, people wouldn't know about the secrets that she holds if this is a knowledge that she knows herself.
Also the historical thief still feels a little irrelevant to her. It still seems to give off the feeling of "That's a thing that happened." But then what happened? Yes she began to teach herself small jobs but, what happened before that?
Did she have to end up living with her mom because her dad went to jail? Did she have to learn to be more supportive? Make things a little harder?
If you would prefer for that to be explored when the character is interacting with other characters, that's still alright. So far this feels a bit better.
Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2014 1:00 pm
I mean the people that work with her. Not just anyone would know she holds secrets. She gives off a feeling to people who work with her that she knows more than she is letting on. Also for the art robbery, it's really just part of her background on influenced her to the underground world. Not much deeper than that.
Ergo, she used to work with him and is sent there for back up. I'll fix it up the best I can. That's the only thing I can tell you really.
But don't you worry too much, in the end it's all about the character being read and played and the reader to interpret.
A character is always the main character in their own story.
Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2014 7:34 am
Ryo, your answer to the riddle was wrong.
stickdude
Generous Informer
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Arena Emperor Captain
Fashionable Genius
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Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2014 12:41 am
MERRYCHRISTMAS ! ! ! [A Christmas Eve special message from Arena Emperor and the staff of Persona 4: FES - The Golden!]
Merry Christmas, everyone!
It's been nearly 5 and a half years now since this RP opened in Persona 4:FES, and it's been an incredible ride together! From the very first days of school at Yasogami High School until the most recent dive into the Tower of Babel, it has been an absolute pleasure to RP together with you guys, to develop characters, storylines, and a world in which we can all have so much fun together doing so many different things! And I am forever grateful for the chances you've given me to write my own story, develop my own plot, and play characters in the Persona Universe for such a long and rewarding time. I love to write...and I love Persona...and though I may never have the chance to write for an actual Persona game, you've given me a tremendous opportunity to spend this long period of time together writing and developing my own. And with your help, it's been a wonderful experience, and a great success!
...More than anything, though, I want to thank every last one of you who have come and gone...whose efforts have grown the Guild and kept it alive through the strong times and the lean times. Especially those of you who are still with me that were there from the beginning, and those of you who will be around for who knows how long after now, you can't imagine the pleasure it brings me to give you guys a place to relax, to enjoy some time in my Persona World, and to make friendships that will hopefully endure long beyond this Guild, should it ever come to a close.
Without all of you, none of this would be possible. And the friendships that I have made with all of you are all the difference! So from the bottom of my heart, and on behalf of the Guild and everyone in it, I want to thank you for being here! ...And wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and all the best in the coming 6th Year of Persona 4:FES - the Golden!
Thank you again to all my friends here for five and a half incredible years!
...
With all my warmest regards,
-Arena Emperor, Captain of Persona 4:FES - The Golden
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For Necro: Ellie - > Black Samurai Armor - An unusual suit of lightweight black armor with a Hellish, blood-red symbol on the chest. It appears like some sort of unknown technology...perhaps a remnant of another world...can be upgraded on a beach using a single hammer and wearing a fundoshi by Daidara during his retirement. Effect: Increase all parameters +3. Null Dark, Resist Nuclear. Use skill 'Black Light' - A flash of violet-black light from the wrist gauntlet of the armor which casts a dangerous curse upon an enemy for High Dark Damage and 1/4 odds of 'Curse' (deals 1/2 dealt damage to user after each turn when cursed, lasts 3 turns). Other: Give to a chosen ally. (Should not be a member of an existing team...)
Amora - > Magatsu Adgistis: A twisted, touching inheritance from a father to whom she was everything...and who was everything to his daughter. Upon their reunion in the present world, that painful, honest emotion gave birth to a power...a black, powerful version of her father's Evolved Persona with all of its original skills up to Evolved Level. It is the ultimate keepsake and sentimental token...in memorial of a father lost...and regained across worlds.
Shu - > Change Token: A wristband worn with a coin token bearing the Mark of the Charmed King. A powerful item only capable of being used by someone with an unmatched bond with their demons and specific to the 'Charmer' type of demon. Allows the summoner to temporarily fuse with one of his Charmer-type demons that is not in use...swapping his own skills for those of his demon (including unique skills) and changing appearances/clothes to a different form with each fusion. Can be activated again 2 turns after dismissing the last Change. Comes with a note:
"As much fun as I could have with an item like this, there's nobody more suited to use it than you. Keep it, and every time you use it, remember the lessons I taught you.
Your master is proud of you, K.K."
"You guys have been through a lot, lately. There are more dangerous things coming, but I know that all of you have the spirit, the power, to handle the storm. Believe in yourselves the way that I believe in you, and you'll be just fine..."
Kisa - > Showtime! - A guaranteed encounter with Dante in 2015 with the Candelabrum of Knowledge on the line! Intended for the first quarter of 2015, but guaranteed for the year...
Rednal - > Charlotte the Maid - Hired by a certain member of the Yatagarasu as thanks for his playing host to so many varied characters and keeping them (relatively) in line, Charlotte is a strange, powerful maid who is a mastery of cleaning, service, and may or may not have strange, Magical Girl powers. Tends to grow a bit too attached to and adopt the personality she believes will be most pleasing to her master...with comical results. [+1 Girl to Rednal's House!]
"I know it might be a little strange, but you are into these sort of things, aren't you? Living life to the fullest, doing what makes you feel alive...that is what it means to truly 'live', isn't it? Just keep being yourself...none of us would ask for anything less."
For Zorc: Kensu - > ??? Crest (Unusual item with unknown properties...though it seems to have some resonance with other similar items received by I. Teamers during the 'Death of Soji Seta' Event.) - ???
Kensu - > The Dark Within... - The darkest parts of Kensu remain in the world despite the acceptance of one's shadow...an encounter with the source is guaranteed in the future...
Fujimatsu - > Nightmare Psychosis – Severe Dark+Fire Damage to one enemy, + 1/4 odds of Curse, + High Critical Odds
Fujimatsu - > Ttup [The Red Horse of War] - Customizable Mount which can be equipped with reins, armor, shoes, saddle, and attack spike of the Rider's design. Equip one Elemental Resist and High-Level Elemental attack spell which can be used while riding the Horse for each piece of equipment. One Unique 'Mounted Skill' on the level of a Demon Ability which can be created and used by the Rider when mounted on the Horse.
"You're more than just a powerhouse, an ally...you're a friend. You're indispensable...buuut just in case you were worried about power anyway, this is for you. Never change..."
For Yoko: Sano - > S. Lord's Armor - Summon up to 2 Knight-type and 1 Wondrous Mage-type shadows of a Medium-strength level to fight alongside the Lord every other turn. Each may only cast one elemental Dyne spell, Power Charge (Mind Charge for the Mage), Rampage (Fire Dance for Mage), attack physically, and cast Dia (Recarm for the mage). Equip S. Lord's Cloak - Cast 'BlackLord's Spirit': Increases Magic/Strength/Evasion greatly. Raise Crit-Rate. Armor gains a golden trim and coal-black body, nullify Elec-type damage. Equip S. Lord's Shield - Obsidian duelist's shield easily the size of the wearer's torso, with golden grim and the ghostly visage of a shadow's mask at the center. Reduce magical damage 15% when used; restore health equally if attack strikes the shield directly. Deal Shield Bash damage if used for Phys attack +25% additional damage.
Tharros - > Tank Shell: Thick shield of military-grade plate armor, used to upgrade persona to Ultimate Level. After evolution, can be carried as a Shield (Accessory) which reduces damage of all attacks which strike the shield by 25%.
Colm - > One-Time Only: A gift from a certain girl as an apology for his continued monitoring by the Shadow Operatives and containment to the dormitory. Don't expect her to acknowledge it, however. ...Having temporarily 'confiscated' his armor and weapons after repeated escape attempts, a request was made to the local blacksmith for...improvements.
Marlo's Vest becomes Slim Charles's Vest - 10% Elemental Damage reduction. 10% Phys Damage reduction. 2% Almighty Damage reduction. Black Knife becomes Murder Knife - Pagan Killer effect. +25% Dark damage. Increase phys damage by 25%. 1/100 odds of Instant KO.
"Look, I know this isn't easy for you...but you bring a lot of this on yourself, you know? If you didn't keep running, I'd...no, I'm sorry...just, take these. I had them fixed up for you. Just, don't get the wrong idea about any of this, all right? I'm still going to keep an eye on you just as much as always..."
"No matter how hard things get, you're always there...willing to extend a hand to the people around you. This Christmas, let us be the ones who extend our hands to you...Merry Christmas. ...That's what they say on this day, right?"
For Stick: Misha - > Ultimate Moe Hair Clip: A cute clip worn in the hair...a welcoming gift from the Investigation Team's leader. Unlock the power of the Ultimate Persona. Afterward, can be worn as an Accessory Equip with a 50% Ice damage bonus.
Leon - > Power Surge: A semi-berserk mode(not unlike an Orgia Mode without the Tier-bump) in which Leon's fighting spirit increases his power significantly! Raises attack, defense, and hit rate/evasion for 3 posts before requiring a 2 turn cooldown. When in 'Power Surge' mode, gain 1 Low skill, 1 Medium skill, and 1 High skill (choose them before you use it...the choices are permanent).
Haruka - > Hand-me-Down Pine Resin: An old case of pine resin used by Yukari during her High School years in Archery Club...passed down as a token of trust, confidence, and affection from a mentor to a student (Yukari to Haruka). Used to help improve the grip on the bow. Unlock the power of the Ultimate Persona. Afterward, can be used as a Reusable Item which doubles Bow Attack Power for the coming turn...
"Through the good times and the bad, you've always stood by the side of your friends whether you felt up to it or not. You are a good man, even if you sometimes doubt that yourself. I couldn't ask for anyone better to have my back..."
For Hiba: Narue - > Daddy's Training: By training with the Lord, her father, and spending time together Narue has picked up a few tricks pertaining to her Mangekyo ability. Learn Seo's Unique Skill - Raikiri. Learn True Evade Phys, Instant Recovery.
"Rue-chan,
No matter where you are from, and where you are going...you will always be my little girl.
Daddy loves you,
Lord Seo"
Kaori - > Dark Ki Barrier: A lesson learned from her meditations with Kei...to be in control of one's emotions is not always to be without anger. By focusing her anger and taking control of the dark energy within her Kaori can force a sphere of Dark Energy to surround her in defense of she and one other person (if they are standing just beside her). A powerful defensive dark magic; drains Dark attacks and blocks any one elemental magic attack before dispersing. Must wait 2 turns to use again.
"You are so strong, Kaori...even if I were gone, I know you would survive. But I have no intention of leaving you just yet..."
Anzu - > Kei's Arsenal: A technique taught to his beloved daughter...Anzu can equip up to 4 weapons simultaneously and switch between them freely in battle (can only use one per-turn, of course). Increase weapon damage 50%.
"I wish I could give you all of my arsenal, all of my techniques, all of my instincts...everything I have is yours and Mashiro's. I wish I had more time to teach you...I wish I had more left to give you. But this is all I have left...
They are yours now...use them and stay alive. You know that your mother and I always..."
"You've come a long way to save a world that should have saved itself...why is it that the work of so many good people is undone by the choices of a few? Mankind is sad...but so long as people like you are out there, there will always be hope."
For Ryo: Gin - > Hyper Booster [All spells are treated as though they have Blank Boost] - Passive Skill
Saito - > Hyper Booster [All spells are treated as though they have Blank Boost] - Passive Skill
Saito - > Genji Gloves [Accessory. Allows dual-equipping of weapons and accessories.]
Naniyori - > Khloros [The Pale Horse of Death] - Customizable Mount which can be equipped with reins, armor, shoes, saddle, and attack spike of the Rider's design. Equip one Elemental Resist and High-Level Elemental attack spell which can be used while riding the Horse for each piece of equipment. One Unique 'Mounted Skill' on the level of a Demon Ability which can be created and used by the Rider when mounted on the Horse.
Mikoto - > Pick of Destiny: A gift from the members of 'Nyx' as a symbol of their bond...increase the level of Mikoto's initial persona to 'Ultimate'. May be kept as a Reusable Item afterward to cast Masukukaja on all allies once every three turns.
"You're standing where I once stood, and I know it's not easy...people are going to take every chance they have to knock you down, to question you...it's going to push you to your limits. I'm with the Shadow Ops now...I'm leaving SEES to you. I believe that only you can do this..."
For Zeo: Zeo - > A Night on the Town: Some time in the next 6 months, a gathering of the Investigation Team at Club Escapade in Iwatodai will be scheduled with Zeo as the emcee. As a sort of 'Re-Birth' Day present, Mitsuru will even waive her spending limit for one day...use it wisely!
"You know, you're a lot like me...for better or worse."
Boudica - > Swag: May wear two Accessories at once.
Cassim - > Temple Knight Armor - An armor gifted to and worn by those who are sworn to uphold Law; defending order, justice, humanity, and the will of YHVH. A destiny is upon the one who wears this armor, though he might not know it...a destiny that may or may not be linked to the Hero and the Heroine... Effect: Increase all parameters +3. Null Light, Resist Dark. Use skill 'Ranger' - An arrow of piercing Light launched from a bow of light, strikes for Medium Light Damage and bypasses normal Light Resistances.
Boudica - > Dance With the Devil: A combination attack possible only with Fujimatsu, the Rider of the Apocalypse...unleash 2 simultaneous hits of Severe Fire Damage to foes with a dual-strike between the two of them. Reduces Fire Resistances to Normal. Amps all Boudica's Fire attacks for 3 turns.
"It's hard for a teacher in a town like this one to get by, but those kids need you. I had a teacher who cared about me once...maybe a little too much...but I always believed in her. You can be that for your students, too...err...but if you have the urge to play 'Innocent Sin Online', don't. All right?"
For Sreze: TK - > Shadowtech Boots (Significantly increase the speed of the wearer, physical attack power, and the power of Dark spells when worn. May grip onto walls for a moment longer than usual and perform unusual feats of agility when worn.) - Accessory Equip
Armina - > Cero Crystalis [Crystal crushed within the hand to provide a permanent +3 boost to all stats.]
TK - > 10,000,000,000 gold ticket. [Usable ONE TIME on any demon or Tanaka's Screwy Commodities auctions.]
Armina - > Rock Claw (Clawed greaves which may deal moderate Earth Damage in addition to slash damage when worn: May count as an Accessory or Weapon.).
"You're new around here, too? Like me...just be yourself, and I'm sure you'll make plenty of friends before you know it! Maybe even a girlfriend...unlike Junpei-kun."
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