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My cat would go into our backyard and roll around in the grass and purr and be adorable. She could have ran away pretty easily, but she had zero intention of leaving the backyard. She was great. The only time she wasn't great is when she peed in the wrong place. To me, anyway.

Oh my god, are you for real. An Internet poop.

Great, what the ******** am I supposed to do now? It's just our ISP that's shitty, then. I am going to get dumped.

Kids are just shitty. I tried to cut off my cat's tail with safety scissors when I was little and she'd scratch me and didn't like me. But then I stopped being a shitty little kid.

That may be, but a slate grey cat that likes to nap on the road is asking for a Darwin award.

Don't even get me started on why dogs suck.

Welp, you did. I have a bruise under my thumb nail because a shitty ******** dog bit me for trying to take garbage out of its mouth. This kind of bruise will take months to go away, and it's gross and embarrassing. Cat bites pinch slightly. Even cat scratches are generally so minor that I'd get a scratch and not even notice until I saw it. Also my boyfriend is like, scarred for life because a dog attacked him when he was little? I'm sure he didn't do anything to deserve that. Cats are so chill and frail and comparison. (and cute)

When I was a kid, a dog DID try to hurt me randomly and started chasing me (but another dog scared it off so I guess that cancels itself out). Another dog kept trying to hump me. Humping dogs are ******** gross.

CATS are stupid? My old dog ate a sock full of cigarette buds, and then my family had to spend thousands of dollars (I think) on surgery so he wouldn't die and then he was on medication that made him have seizures. All because he's a stupid ******** dog that will eat ANYTHING. My cat died of liver failure, like a civilized human being would, and never put her life into any danger.

Dogs, depending on the breed, can be hairy as ******** and the hair will get all over your clothes, all over every inch of furniture, all over your floor everywhere. You could make a puppy out of all the fur that comes off when you brush. I can't understand people who complain about cat hair like, at all. It's like comparing scraping your knee to getting shot in the leg. At least, that's how it is with this yellow lab I look after sometimes. It's just kinda disgusting. (small dog breeds are definitely preferable)

Cat fur is softer and more pleasant than dog fur.

Some dogs are loud as ******** and are scary and will jump on you. Some dogs will eat wet wipes and other garbage and then won't s**t it out properly so you have to actually take the s**t out of its a** for it in the middle of the street while everyone watches. So that's one of life's worst experiences. (again, mostly big dogs)

Barking is always obnoxious. Meowing is usually adorable. There are also a bunch of different kinds of meows, like a gentle, happy one or an "oh hai there i didn't notice you one" or an "i'm hungry" one or an "i'm happy to see you" one.

Having to get out of bed early every morning to take the dog out? Having to go out every single day with the dog, even if it's like -40 out? NEEDING someone take care of your dog even if you'll just be away for the weekend? Not cool. Owning a dog can feel like being its slave.

Not all cats don't get excited to see you. My cat would purr like crazy every time I even like, looked at her. Cats CAN be declawed. Playfulness sorta depends on that cat but personally I care more about cuddliness and stuff than playfulness.

Cats do throw up more often, which is unpleasant. However, I can deal with cat puke. If a big dog throws up on the floor, however, it's the most disgusting thing ever. It will very likely eat is, but if it doesn't, it's no less disgusting than having to clean human throw up off of the floor.

Dogs make a *REALLY* irritating licking sound. Cats are more quiet. Well, at least I think so. But smaller breeds of dog ARE much better than bigger ones. Some of them are even smaller than some kitties.

Dogs are cute and can be funny, but I feel like it's not worth all the effort and annoyances. Cats ask much less and give pretty much the same amount of affection (just with less hyperactivity usually)

A cat that attacks randomly without any provocation is rare and probably kinda psycho. Even if it were, it couldn't KILL you like some dogs could!

Cats are cooler. Their bodies are so liquidy. Their eyes glow in the dark sometimes. Most of all, they are cuter. Adorable little ears and bright eyes, tiny little noses and fangs, funny tails that are fun to just watch sometimes (they do more than just wag), less disgusting farts, cute lil drumsticks for legs, cuter paws, adorable purring sounds, that warm feeling you get when they rub their faces on you and step on your feet with their own tiny widdle paws and their love for boxes and beams of sunlight... I LOVE THEM. BEST ANIMAL EVER ON EARTH. FITE ME.

Also male dogs get GROOOOSS BONERS because they're excited to go on walks or in cars. Male cats... I forget the even have penises at all because they're not revolting.

Dogs are just like overexcited children. Some people like that. Cats suit a quieter homebody type like me.

I typed up a whole THING to the s**t you said and then my phone deleted it all because I didn't post it fast enough. crying
BUT BASICALLY:
Yes, articles are ******** awful. I'm glad English doesn't have that s**t. I made it easier for myself by just thinking of the word as one entity and not just trying to remember "masculine" vs "feminine." That way it's only two extra letters to memorize.
Plus I doubt anyone actually gives a ******** in spoken French. Le and la sound similar and un and une don't but I doubt there are people who will point that out?? I don't know. That's what I hate about learning languages in school and why I hated learning French. ******** grammar. ******** essays.

Planets are ******** awesome. Space is damn amazing. I get how imagining 600 km/h winds is scary (even Earth wind can be pretty scary) but it's not something that would ever happen on Earth so it's just COOL. I'm definitely more freaked out by the potential earthquakes that can happen WHILE I'M IN OAKLAND... than awesome space s**t. But I've always loved space SO...
And the fact that so many planets are completely inhabitable is ********... cool. That could have been Earth. In fact, Venus is basically just like Earth but turned out completely the opposite. It's just RANDOM ******** CHANCE. It's scary but also really exciting.
For more on the Venus thing you can watch Carl Sagan's Cosmos Episode 4. Also, it's very 80's so maybe you'll like it?? I'm really glad my physics teacher in high school made us watch all of Cosmos. It was the best part of advanced physics. I started out rewriting this post very angry BUT SPACE HAS MADE ME HAPPY

lol I have unleashed ILI's inner space geek. XD Also ******** phones, sometimes. All my teachers would correct you if you said the wrong "le" or "la" thing and it was kinda obnoxious. I pretty much avoided talking to any of my teachers that weren't English teachers as much as possible because of things like that >_>
When you think about it, Earth really is the most mind-blowing planet because it's apparently the only one out of so many to meet the specific requirements for things to actually live on it. Since we're so used to it, we only really realize when we learn about space and get some context. And then it's scary as ******** because wow vast universe full of all kinds of crazy lifeless things that we can't observe directly because EVERYTHING IS DANGEROUS AND NO LIFE MEANS DEATH. But yeah anyway it is really cool and surreal and it is the most mysterious thing ever. Where the ******** did all of this come from? I wish people took more notice of space and the bigger picture sometimes. I kinda hope that space becomes more open to non-astronauts in our lifetime but yeah probably not. It would just be the coolest thing to see Earth from outer space, for real. Anyway, maybe I'll watch this Cosmos thing.