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But I love Lavender town music both happy and sad version

FFXIV's tag line "escape reality live the fantasy." is accurate for many people, depressing to think about, and pretentious on square's behalf all at the same time. it's a pretty user friendly MMO, though. and now it's on steam... to taunt me. I GOT OUT...

Wondering if I'll even bother going into the studio tonight.

All I have left to do is glaze a buttload of work. I can't make anything else until I clear my shelf of all unglazed work.

And I should just buy some good glazes so I can make good work. I just spent all my money on a piano, though, so there goes that. Pottery is losing it's appeal. I guess everything loses it's appeal when you're depressed. I haven't even been enjoying games like I used to.

The thing is, with all of those things, I can still be pretty happy when I force myself to get into them. For some reason I just dread starting anything. Which is dumb, and makes me feel dumb, but sadly feeling unreasonable and petulant doesn't help my situation.

I know that I'm not a very normal (bullshit word) person. 50 years ago I would probably have still been miserable and had difficulty coping with society and life, but I have to wonder if that whole depression aspect is part of that even. People seem overwhelmingly more miserable. Is it just because they're more vocal about it than they were in the past? And honestly, what first hand knowledge do I even have of those times to come to this conclusion anyway? People still struggled to cope and killed themselves. Maybe they would have had happier lives in the modern day where we all never shut up about how we feel.

That is to say, maybe they would have been medicated. I don't know what my deal is-- or rather, I do, but I don't know how to justify my deal with psychiatry and medicating for behaviors. I had a shitty interaction with ADD/ADHD meds and psychiatrists who would just prescribe me something for whatever my parents and teachers perceive was wrong with me, and that's ******** up, but I don't know how I can carry that over to a general paranoia about medication as an adult, for the problems that I can perceive in myself.

It's a real load of s**t, I guess.

At least I've been sleeping better this week. Still waking up every day to a demented child's screams, but that problem is without and not within, so its a little more bearable. A smidgen. I'm not sure it's healthy, though.

will they laugh or be mad hmmmmm

(My costume change doesn't really have anything to do with my diatribe about EMOTIONS)

now w/ cat

Where did I even get most of these items? geez.

My youtube favorites playlist is acting up and not registering new additions, probably because I added too many.

Now I have to go through and put videos that are just music from it into a separate music playlist, and then delete them from my favorites so that only actual videos remain.

Not only that, but I have to try and get rid of songs I only "like" but am not "completely in love with".

WHAT A PAIN. LIFE IS SO HARD. I SHOULD BE READING.

MARGARET IS GREEK YOU GEEK IT MEANS "A PEARL"

song playlists are great though. I started sorting them out years ago, and it's nice to just turn it on shuffle when I don't want to listen to random s**t on pandora.