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 Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 9:40 pm
I expect to see you on the news tommorow!
dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama dramallama
Mom, I was using the bathroom before school, and...it got a little...messy...when I tried to flush, the toilet over flowed. While I attempted to get the toilet to stop spewing, some of the water knocked your favorite candle into those curtains that came from Great-great Gramma, catching them on fire. I got the water to stop, and get the water back in the bathroom, but by that time the whole house was on fire. I ran out, trying to save your favorite things. I got out, and set the stuff next to a tree. As it began to thunder and lightning, the tree fell down and crushed all of your stuff, including the elderly woman next door. I ran through the streets trying to get help, but just ended up causing the biggest car crash in the history of our town. Some how I ended up here, at this building. So that's why I'm not a school, and showed up at your workplace.
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Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 1:42 pm
No worries darling, you tried your best. It was all just a big accident!
exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim exclaim
Mom, I volunteered to be a porn star.
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Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 1:49 pm
ooo carrying on the family tradition, I am so proud of you <3
pirate pirate pirate pirate pirate pirate pirate pirate
Mom i just pressed the red button that is sure to blow up the moon that will lead to the worlds destruction
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Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 1:54 pm
Don't worry, your father was going to that anyway.
================================================================================================================================================================================================
Mom, I killed my brother.
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Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 2:32 pm
That's nice, hon--wait, you had a brother?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Look mom...last night I had a very bad dream, and you were this evil possessed witch with seven hundred heads and only one arm, and you had 14 legs and two mouths and you didn't even look like yourself. Before I woke up, this black necromancer with three eyes and a pitchfork told me the only way to dispel the evil spirit in your body was to stab you four times with four different silver knives. I didn't think I'd woken up already though, so I came down here to dispel the evil spirit and I couldn't tell you apart from the real evil witch and that explains why you have a knife in your head, throat, heart, and stomach. Except I didn't use silver knives, I used stainless steel, and if I'm not mistaken, stainless steel will suck out your soul and send you to Hell where you'll get raped by the Devil. At least, according to my very bad dream.
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Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 12:21 pm
Never mind. At least the knives will clean easily!!
And about being raped by the devil...well, as you might have heard in all the rows I've been having...well. Your father has been experiencing some difficulty with that kind of thing recently so, um...I'm looking forwards to it blaugh
xp xp xp xp xp xp xp xp xp xp xp xp xp xp xp xp
Mom, I contaminated the water pipes with a mix of highly fatal diseases.
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Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2010 3:07 am
Well the world sucks a** anyway, Heaven and Hell are probably way better.
burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes burning_eyes
Mom, I smoked some pot, got arrested for raping a dog, then got raped myself in jail by the police man, then he let me out cuz i stabbed him in the nose with a pencil, then i stole a hobo's sandwich cuz i was hungry, then i came back here and stabbed your foot with that fire poker thingy. All while I was high off of crack.
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Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 11:20 am
I'm glad that you are exploring different aspects of life! So many people just try to do the same things every day and they end up so boring. Well done sweet-heart!
heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart
Mom...I peed on my Gym uniform just after you washed it in the nick of time for todays' gym class.
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